Life And Other Complications
by cirobert
Summary: Dean Winchester has never met a woman who could match him for style, attitude and abilities...until he meets Cassidy Kidd. This is just some Dean love that I wanted to write to go along with our SPN story line. I took many liberties with characters, plot and abilities.
1. Chapter 1

**1** (early second season)

Dean Winchester was sitting in a bar drinking with his brother when he met the woman who would change his life. Of course he didn't know it at the time but when the girl in the skin tight black dress walked through the door the brothers automatically turned to look at her. Dean felt his pulse speed up as he looked at the woman with the long black hair flowing over her shoulders and eyes so blue he could see their color from across the room. Her dress covered her pale skin from neck to thigh but it was so tight it left nothing to the imagination. Thigh high boots left only an inch of skin showing between fabrics and it teased him.

"Wow." Dean commented as they watched her walk across the room towards a table with a single male occupant.

"Wow is right. Looks like she knows our guy." Sam said with a mild bitch face on. Dean was convinced that Sam would one day wake up with a permanent bitch face.

"Oh man, I knew she was too hot to be true." Dean sighed draining the last of his beer and ordering another.

"Isn't it too good to be true?" Sam asked him with a small laugh.

"Look at her, theres no way something that looks like that is good." Dean told his brother. He was still watching the woman out of the corner of his eye and he saw her snuggle up to their mark.

The boys continued to nurse their drinks while the man and woman got up onto the dance floor and started to grind to some kind of honky tonk tunes. Dean couldn't help but turn and watch the way she moved, her entire body made for sin. As she writhed against the man her dress rode up showing more of that pale skin that her boots hinted at. As she turned to wrap her arms around his neck he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Hey." Sam said nudging Dean as the couple turned to walk out. The woman's eyes met with Dean's as she led her partner out the door and her smiled dropped for a just a second.

"Show time." Dean said waiting an appropriate amount of time before trailing after them. Sam had a syringe of dead mans blood in one hand and Dean pulled a machete out of his coat.

From the alley ahead of them came the sounds of a scuffle and the boys began to run. There was no way tangling with a vampire would be good for the woman, even if she seemed to know what she was doing.

"Sam!" Dean growled as he ran into the alley. Sam was at his back which was why he was slammed into as he skidded to a halt. The woman had the vampire on the ground and was swinging a blade to take off his head.

"What the hell?" Sam asked watching her swipe the blood into the dead man's jacket.

"Hello boys." She said in a thick southern accent, standing and smiling at them sweetly.

"Who are you?" Sam asked walking over to inspect the dead vampire at the girls feet. A little blood was splattered on her boots and with a look of disgust she wiped it in his pants.

"A hunter, like you." she replied. She reached up to pull her long hair back into a pony tail and Dean couldn't take his eyes off the way her dress clung to her curves.

"I should have known the freaking Winchester's would show up. Lucky I got here first is all." she smiled at them sweetly.

"You're a hunter?" Dean asked her not able to wrap his head around the fact.

"Sure am darling." she winked at him. "Been tracking this blood sucker for the last three weeks, narrowed down his hunting grounds, and sliced and diced. His last partner I ganked in Maine last month so the nest is dead."

"You took on an entire nest of vampires?" Sam asked her impressed. He nudged Dean's shoulder to get him to put the knife away.

"Sure did handsome." she smiled at Sam. "But now I've got to get my gear and head out. Sorry I stole your fun." she said and waved as she walked out of the alley. Both boys looked as she disappeared, too stunned to say a thing.


	2. Chapter 2

**2** (after meeting Castiel and coming back from Hell)

The next time he saw the huntress was on a case that Bobby called them in for. Some local kids were going missing and apparently Bobby thought this was right up her alley.

"Why do we need help Bobby? We've killed pretty much everything on the planet. Even demons and angels." Dean grumped as he scarfed down a sandwich.

"And this hunter spends all of her time tracking the cases with kids. If theres a kid involved she can tell you about the monster involved." Bobby told him in his gruff voice.

"Her? Its a her?" Dean asked.

"Yes it is. Its not just a boys club any more Dean."

"When will she get here? We can't put it off much longer Bobby, another kid will go missing tomorrow night."

"Should be here any minute now, I called her in from the next state over but she was going to drive all night."

"Probably in some shitty little Prius." Dean snarked.

"Whats wrong with a Prius?" Sam asked him defensively.

"Its grass fed." Dean gave him a stupid grin with his mouth stuffed.

"So is that beef you're eating." Sam replied.

"Are you boys going to spend all afternoon pecking at each other? Cause I got things I can be doing." Bobby asked looking between the two of them. It was always like this after they had been together in the car so long, they gripped and grumped at each other until they got some time apart.

Before they could answer the sounds of a deep idling engine came through the window.

"That don't sound like no Prius." Dean said getting up and going to the window. Sam joined him and they both watched as a deep cherry red '67 Impala pulled in next to Baby. Dean felt his heart thunder. There was only one Baby but this cherry number was tempting as hell. He almost felt like he was cheating on his car just thinking it.

"You think she'll get jealous?" Sam asked his brother jokingly until he saw who stepped out of the drivers seat. The long black hair was pulled back in a braid that fell over the shoulder of the black leather jacket. Skinny blue jeans were tucked into knee high black boots and dark shades perched on the cute little nose.

"Bobby?" the woman called and her voice was just as good as Dean remembered it from back in that dark alley, honey with a little bit of southern twang to make it interesting.

"Hey girl, come on in and meet the boys." Bobby called opening the door and returned the quick hug he was pulled in to.

"Dean, Sam, this is Cassidy Kidd." Bobby introduced the girl. Sam reached out to shake her hand but Dean was struggling to swallow the last of the sandwich he was eating.

"You can call me Cas, no one calls me Cassidy except Grampa Singer here." she said smiling to Sam.

"Cassidy Kidd huh? Parents must have been pretty big Butch and Sundance fans." Dean said grinning at her stupidly. Sam gave her an apologetic grin but Bobby was shooting him daggers.

"I, uh, wouldn't know. I lost my Mom when I was young and I never knew my father." she said pulling off her shades. The deep blue of her eyes bore into Dean and he was reminded of the damned angel who had hauled him from Hell.

"Oh Christ, sorry." Dean apologized feeling like a huge ass.

"Don't worry about it, it was a long time ago." she shrugged. "So whats this case about Bobby? You hauled me away from my first break in months."

"Well why didn't you tell me Cas? I would have let ya be." Bobby sighed.

"It's been three whole days Bobby, I was getting antsy." she shrugged out of her jacket and laid it across the back of a chair. She grabbed a sandwich from the pile on the table and proceeded to pull out the tomato and lettuce with a slight look of disgust on her face. If the pale skin of her shoulders in a tank top didn't distract Dean enough, the fact that she seemed to be getting rid of the veg to eat just the burger was hot as hell.

"I've got it all in the study, come in after you've eaten." Bobby said disappearing. Sam and Dean debating following but when Cas sat down they joined her.

"Nice car you've got." Sam said trying to start some conversation.

"I know she's not the most economical choice but she got lots of space in the trunk and a big back seat." Cas said between bites.

"How long you had her?" Dean asked getting into the conversation. He couldn't get the image of Cas in that tight black dress out of his head no matter how much he wanted to concentrate on the conversation. Maybe it was time he go out and find some girl at a bar, it had been a while.

"Since I was 18. Bought her with my first legitimate paying job and fixed her up myself. You should have seen her when I bought her, not one panel was rust free." Cas shook her head smiling fondly.

"You restored her?" Dean asked much more intrigued. Pretty girls were nice, pretty hunters were nicer but pretty hunters who could sling around tools were a rare gift indeed.

"I stayed working long enough to pay for it. That way no one could ever take her away from me. Me and Cherry got a long history, she's like family." she nodded.

"You ah, you named your car?" Sam asked her looking between her and Dean.

"I sure did, like I said, she's like family." Cas said and brushed her hands free of crumbs.

"And family is everything." Dean said half under his breath.

"So why do you concentrate on kids? There are plenty of monsters out there, why waste energy on only certain cases?" Dean asked Cassidy as they waited outside an office building waiting for Sam.

"Its personal." Cas said looking at Dean quickly. She liked the gruff older Winchester, he had a black and white view of the world unlike Sam who was more of an understanding soul. Dean was the kind of hunter to just kill what needed to be killed and she knew from experience that most monsters weren't worth saving.

"Sorry." Dean said an apology and she shrugged.

"Maybe some night we'll get hammered and I'll tell ya." she grinned at him to know she wasn't mad to be asked.

"Sounds good to me." Dean smiled at her. When he smiled his eyes lit up and Cassidy felt herself having to force her eyes away from him. Those green eyes and the light dusting of freckles were going to spell all kinds of trouble for Cassidy, she could just feel it. Normally hunters didn't do it for her, just not worth the trouble to dive into bed with psychopaths like most of them were. But Dean was different. There was still a life to him, something light and teasing that hid a tremendous amount of pain.

"So where do you call home Cas?" Dean asked her as he squinted at the building expecting his brother to come out any minute.

"Cherry." she shrugged. "Never really had a place I could plant my feet for more then a night or two so she's home."

"I hear ya." Dean said running his hand lovingly along Baby's bonnet.

"As long as I got her and my music then I don't need no white picket fence to keep me grounded. Besides, four walls and all that only make you realize who you don't have to share it with." she smiled at him. Dean nodded his agreement. He had Sam, and Bobby when they really needed him, Cas was flitting

here and there and he had a handful of friends that he could get drunk with, but he didn't have anyone to share himself with. He could only imagine how lonely Cassidy must be to be out by herself.

Sam interrupted their conversation with a "hey, get this" and they were back on the case.

"We're taking Cherry." Cas said putting her hands on her hips and daring Dean to argue.

"Oh no sweetheart, we take Baby or we don't go." Dean argued. They were prepping gear for their hunt when the subject of what car to take came up.

"Then don't go, I'll see you when its over." she said.

"Oh come on Cas, its not like you'll never see her again. Bobby will look after her while we're gone." Sam pleaded. He knew how Dean felt about leaving the Impala behind and he wasn't prepared to deal with his whining and pouting for the rest of the trip.

"Its not that, everyone knows your car." Cas said relaxing her stance some.

"What? No they don't." Dean argued.

"Bobby, help me out here." Cas sighed.

"No way, I ain't getting in the middle of this." Bobby retreated to his study.

"I can prove it. Pick a state and I'll call a hunter in it." she said pulling out her phone and looking at the boys expectantly.

"Iowa." Dean challenged her.

"Kevin." she replied and flipped through her phone for a number. Hitting the speaker she waited for a man to answer.

"What?" came the gruff reply across the line.

"Hello to you too darling, catch ya at a bad time?" Cas drawled. Dean noticed that she used that accent like a weapon, using it to lull people into a sense of comfort.

"I'm just tracking a vamp Cas, what do you need?"

"What kind of vehicle do the Winchesters drive Kev?" Cassidy asked and looked at the boys.

"Black Chevy Impala, changes plates though. Why? You spot them?"

"I thought I might have but no, wrong car. Thanks Kevin, good luck with your hunt." Cas hung up and raised an eyebrow at the boys.

"That's just one hunter." Dean argued.

"Pick another state then." she challenged him.

"No, enough. Come on Dean, its just one time. I'm sure the Impala will be fine here." Sam sighed.

"Its not like your car is totally incognito either Cas, its the same damn car except for the screaming red paint job." Dean countered ignoring Sam.

"Fine, pick another state." she smirked at him.

"New Mexico." Dean spat out.

"Rosa, she's not a hunter but she's the local Bobby down there." she dialled another number and put it on speaker. This time it was picked up after just two rings by a woman with a whiskey toned voice.

"Hey Rosa, can you tell me some info, I'm in the middle of a hunt and need the answers quick darling." Cas said in that honey voice again.

"Sure thing Cassidy, ask and I'll answer."

"What kind of car do the Winchesters drive?" she asked again.

"67 Chevy Impala, black I believe." came the reply instantly.

"And what kind of car do I drive?" Cas asked her.

"Uh…something red why? Did you loose your car to the Winchesters?" Rosa asked concerned.

"No, no, nothing like that. Thanks for the help Rosa, talk soon." Cas hung up and smirked at Dean. Sam was grinning largely over his shoulder.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean said unhappily.


	3. Chapter 3

**3** **(after coming back from Purgatory)**

"I don't know what happened to him there Cassidy, but he's different. Dean was always mad but now he's on the verge of rage all times of the day." Sam sighed as he shared a beer with the hunter at some bar they had passed before they got to the motel where Dean was crashed. It was pure luck that Sam still had her number and when he didn't want to be alone any more he called her up to find that she was in the next town over. A quick drive and here they were sharing beers, which had turned into shots and now Sam was feeling the effects of the liquor.

"I can only imagine what he went through down there Sam. I know you guys aren't big on feelings but maybe he needs to talk to someone." she said.

"Good luck getting him to go there. He's locked up tighter then Fort Knox and he's so pissed at me that he can barely look at me." Sam explained.

"What about the angel?" she asked. To be honest she was more then a little jealous of the angel, word in the hunter web was that the two of them practically eye banged each other every time they saw each other.

"He didn't make it back." Sam said sadly. "And Dean won't tell me why not."

"Maybe he needs to get laid?" Cas said trying to get a smile out of the younger Winchester. Her and Sam had stayed in sparse contact over the years and she hated to see the guy so out of sorts. The year he had been with Amelia had changed him and Cas wasn't sure being back in the game was a good idea.

"God, I wish it was that easy." Sam smiled lightly at her. As usual Cassidy saw some flirtation in his eyes but lucky for them both Sam didn't take it further then mild interest. He was handsome, there was no arguing that, but Sam was too…soft for Cas. She was afraid of how a man like him got attached. Cas didn't do attachments.

"Call him, tell him to come on over. Between the two of us we should be able to find some girl he can bang." she shrugged.

"I'll give it a shot." Sam said pulling out his phone. He dialled Dean's number and waited until his brother answered.

"Hey Dean, never guess who I ran into." Sam said trying to sound light hearted.

"Sam, I'm not in the mood." Dean growled as Cas slid closer to try and hear the conversation.

"Get that stick out of your ass and come drinking with us darling." Cas purred into the line. She grabbed the phone from Sam and listened to the silence.

"Dean?" she asked wondering if he had hung up.

"Cassidy?" Dean asked in surprise.

"Sure is darling, so are you going to stand me up and leave me here with your little brother or are you going to come drink me under the table?" she asked.

"I'm not really in the mood Cas." Dean sighed.

"Then I'll just have to get you in the mood. Pull on some pants Dean, we're coming over!" she said and hung up. Smirking she gave Sam his phone back before pulling on her jacket.

"Come on Sammy, time to cheer up big bro."

Dean didn't know what to expect but it wasn't Cassidy barging into his motel room with copious amounts of liquor and an already staggering Sam. She looked better then he remembered, her skinny jeans and leather jacket making her look tough but inviting. Even the hair that trailed down her shoulders was begging him to tough it. But Dean didn't have time for this, he didn't have the patience or the abiltity.

"Dean!" Cassidy drawled handing him a beer before helping Sam sit down. Sam grinned at her, took a beer and drained it in one gulp.

"Cas, what are you doing here?" Dean asked her holding the beer she had given him.

"I'm trying to lighten everyone up, jesus, its like a funeral in here." she said flopping onto the bed with him. Dean tensed at the close proximity.

"How many did you have Sammy?" Dean ignored her comment and asked his brother.

"Only this many." Sam smiled and held up both hands.

"And?"

"And this many shots." he giggled holding up his hands again. God Dean hated it when Sam got sloppy drunk like this, it made watching over him so much harder.

"This was your idea?" he asked Cas as she laid back on the bed with a grin on her face.

"Hell no…I only paid for one shot." she smiled at him.

"He's going to be miserable in the morning." he said looking down at her.

"That makes two of us." she replied. Sighing she sat back up again and Dean saw that she wasn't near as drunk as Sam.

"Come on Dean, lighten up, have a beer." Sam coaxed his brother. He leaned back in the chair and before Dean could even answer his head dropped down and he started to snore.

"And now he's passed out. Fantastic." Dean sighed.

"You need to stop giving Sam such a hard time. He's had a tough time." Cas said nudging Dean with her shoulder.

"He wasn't the only one." he said as his hackles rose. Sam was a subject he didn't want to talk about, not to anyone.

"Wanna talk about it?" she asked sipping her beer.

"No." he replied quickly.

"Wanna have sex then?" she asked and Dean dropped the beer he was holding. It clunked to the floor and they both watched it roll away.

"What?!" Dean asked Cas in shock.

"Come on Dean, its not like we're virgins or anything. I'm just offering one night of comfort, for both of us." Cas said trying to look anywhere but at Dean's face. Normally she wouldn't be this bold, hell normally she wouldn't even be the one to make the first move, but she liked Dean. Why not take the chance?

"I…uh…" Dean stumbled over his words. Sighing Cas stood up and took off her jacket. She let it fall to the floor and then pushed Dean's shoulders back so that she could straddle his waist.

"Yes or no Dean, I'm not offering you the moon. Just one night of hot southern sex." she said looking into those deep green eyes of his. He was tense in under her and she fully expected him to push her away.

"I…I'm not right Cas." he breathed rapidly.

"None of us are." she sighed against his skin. She eased closer to him, leaning him back further against the bed. Instead of waiting for his answer she pressed her lips against his. They were soft, warm and slightly wet from his constant habit of licking them. Cassidy closed her eyes and waited for Dean to respond. If he kissed her back then she was prepared to go all in, if he pulled away then she'd gather her coat and go.

After a slight hesitation Dean closed his own eyes and kissed her back. He felt her softness against him and gave in to the desire to explore it. He sat up further, still kissing her and wrapped his arms around her back. He found the seam between her shirt and jeans and slid his hand on bare skin. He moaned into her mouth as she flicked her tongue against his. God, she tasted good.

"Dean…" she moaned into his mouth and he got hard just hearing that throaty whisper.

He ran his hands along her bare skin until he came to her ribs. She was tinier then he thought, his thumbs almost touching across her ribcage. Cassidy took her hands and ran her fingers through Dean's short hair. Grabbing a handful she pulled his head back so that she could kiss him deeper. He groaned against her lips and couldn't stop his pelvis from thrusting up against her.

"Don't be scared Dean, I won't break." Cas said pulling away from him and looking him in the eye.

"I…what do you mean?" he asked confused at her actions.

"Use me Dean, make me scream your name and wake up the entire motel." she told him. She bit into his bottom lip and raked her nails along his scalp. Dean moaned eagerly and kissed her again, this time harder and with more tongue. They pushed and fought against each other for dominance until Dean had Cassidy pinned to the bed underneath him. He grabbed her wrists and pinned them over her head. He was still kissing her, while she writhed against him. Each time she moaned or moved against him Dean's desire ratcheted up. He didn't know he could get so damn horny.

"Clothes Dean." Cas breathed out between kisses.

"What about them?" Dean asked her. She chuckled throatily and he released her wrists so that should could show him what she meant. She pushed him so that he was kneeling up and pulled his shirt over his head baring his perfectly tanned chest. She placed kisses and nips along his shoulders as she reached down to undo his heavy belt. Even through the denim he wore she could feel how hard he was.

"Cas…" Dean breathed as she threw the belt to the floor before attacking his zipper. As it burst open Dean's cock sprang out to the cool motel air.

"Oh darling." Cas said eyeing the glistening head appreciatively.

"Your turn." Dean said pawing at her clothes until she was in just a bra and underwear. He had to stop and just look her over when he had her jeans thrown to the floor. A black bra and matching panties were very nice against her pale skin but what stopped his breath was the scars. She had perfectly shaped bite marks over her skin, mainly on her upper legs and hips.

"Cassidy…" Dean said but she quickly leaned up and kissed him deeply again. Ok, right, no questions and no girly touchy feely moments. Cas grabbed his hands and brought them around to her bra strap and he took the hint. It quickly joined the pants and shirt on the floor and all that was left was her panties and his jeans.

Dean let his hands explore her chest, her moans of appreciation fueling his lust. Each time he stroked over her nipples she arched into his touch. He left her lips to trail kisses down her neck. Laying her down he kissed her collarbone while she tangled her fingers in his hair again. He licked along her breasts and sucked a nipple into his mouth. Cas's back arched off the bed and she panted in under his touch.

"Harder…" she demanded and Dean used his teeth to bit into her making sure not to be too rough. The poor girl looked like she had been through the wringer, he didn't want to hurt her further.

"Make me scream Dean." she begged and he bit harder. Her gasp made him release her quickly.

"Cas?" he asked looking at her closed eyes. She slowly opened her eyes and a look of utter guilt and embarrassment crossed her face.

"There's something you should know Dean." she said looking anywhere but him.

"Yes?" he asked as his desire cooled quickly.

"Uh…never mind." she said sitting up and trying to cover herself while looking for her clothes.

"Cassidy, please, don't go." Dean begged grabbing her wrist and pulling her back onto the bed. She looked at the floor and pulled the sheet to cover her chest.

"You're not the only one with damage Dean." Cas said as red flushed her prettily.

"Tell me." he demanded, mind completely at a lose and swirling from being so high just a moment before.

"I had a bad childhood Dean. Just, trust me on that." she said. She had found her shirt and was pulling it over her head despite Dean's protests.

"Cas, talk to me." he found himself almost begging. She finally looked up to meet his eyes. There was so much there that Dean couldn't read.

"Maybe some other time." She said. She quickly pulled on her pants and boots. "I'm sorry Dean." she said grabbing her coat. As she walked past Sam he gave a rather large snore.

"Please stay." Dean strode across the room and grabbed her arm. She stopped and looked back at him.

"Not tonight Dean." she shook her head. She reached for the door handle but Dean pulled her against him. He kissed her deeply, his tongue swirling into her mouth and his hands holding her close. When he pulled back she rocked on her feet.

"I'm sorry." he said unsure of what he was sorry for.

"Me too." she gave him a weak grin and left.


	4. Chapter 4

**4 (after they find the bunker)**

It was a long time before Dean and Cassidy's paths crossed again. And it came in the most surprising phone call.

"Dean Winchester?" came a panicked voice across the phone line, a phone line that no one but the most trusted of Dean's contacts had.

"Who is this?" Dean growled over the line as Sam sat up at the tone in his voice. They were sitting in the Men of Letters library, scanning through some old books, when the phone had rang.

"My name's Marianne, Cassidy's hurt." came the reply. Now Dean sat up and locked eyes with his brother.

"Where?" he asked.

"I'm in Delaware, we were working a case but she…she's hurt bad. This was her emergency contact on her phone." Marianne rambled.

"We're on our way, stay with her and stay by the phone. I'll call when we're close." Dean said hanging up ad grabbing his coat.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked immediately grabbing his coat and trailing after his brother.

"Cassidy is hurt. How the hell did she even get that number?" Dean was looking through his coat for his keys.

"I gave it to her in case of emergencies." Sam said. He handed Dean the keys to the Impala but Dean just stared at them.

"There's no way we can get to her in time." Dean said.

"We can call Garth, he's bound to have someone in the area." Sam thought out loud.

"No time. I need Cas." Dean said.

"Dean, we haven't seen Cas in weeks." Sam sighed.

"Castiel, get your feathery ass down here right now, I need you." Dean said. Sam looked at him oddly.

"You have such an odd way of praying." he shook his head but quickly turned around at the rustle of feathers. Castiel stood there looking kinda lost as he usually did.

"Cas, I need you to take me somewhere, now." Dean said not bothering with any formalities.

"Where?" Cas said immediately picking up on the panic in Dean's voice.

"Delaware."

"Dean, you need to be a bit more specific." Cas said disapprovingly.

"Just a sec." he dug out his phone and called back the number from before. He got specifics of the location and without hesitation Cas flew them there.

The warehouse was dark and quiet, but Dean picked up on someone's quiet sobs further back in the building. Drawing his gun he made his way there not knowing what to expect. What he found was Cassidy's body covered in blood laying on the floor besides a sobbing woman.

"Who are you?!" the woman demanded drawing her own gun and aiming it at Dean.

"I'm Dean Winchester, this is my brother Sam and this is Cas." Dean said holding up his weapon in peace. Slowly she lowered her own before dropping to her knees besides Cas again.

"Help her!" the woman Dean could only assume was Marianne pleaded. Dean fell to his knees besides Cas's body and started to give it a once over. She was pale, paler then normal, and her lips had a blueish tint to them. He placed his hand on her chest and was relieved to find a faint heartbeat. Her skin was torn apart in places, the muscle underneath exposed and torn. A few teeth marks were visible as well.

"Cas, quick." Dean begged the angel. Castiel came to his side and immediately placed his glowing hands on some of the more obvious wounds. They knit themselves back together but Cas kept going. Dean was amazed at the time if took for the angel to heal all the wounds, how was she still alive?

"What did this?" Sam asked Marianne who was staring at Castiel in shock.

"A werewolf, and a vampire." she said.

"What?" Dean asked his head shooting to look in her direction.

"We're hunting a vampire who keeps a werewolf as his pet. They've been abducting children in the area. We thought we had the drop on them but they knew we were coming." Marianne explained.

"Where are they now?" Dean asked and Sam could hear the pure rage in his voice.

"I don't know. They attacked Cassidy and then ran off. It was almost as if the vampire knew her, wanted to keep her alive."

"Why?"

"I don't know." Marianne said. She gave one heavy sigh and fell back onto her ass in the dirt.

"Will she be ok?"

"Her external wounds are healed, as are most of her internal ones. But I need to keep an eye on her for a few days to make sure." Casitel said as his hands stopped glowing.

"We'll take her back to the bunker." Dean said reaching down to pick up the still bloody girl.

"Wait, what about the vamp?" Marianne said.

"We'll call in some help. Here, take my number, I'll be in touch." Sam said giving the girl his FBI card. Cas immediately flew them back to the bunker.

Dean didn't say anything to either of them as he headed off to his bedroom with Cassidy in his arms. She was breathing steadily again and the blue was gone from her lips. But she still didn't wake up. Dean placed her in his bed, where she looked so small and fragile and began to pace. It wasn't long before Sam was knocking on his door frame.

"Anything?" Sam asked looking down at the small hunter in the bed.

"No. Where's Cas?" Dean asked huffing and running a hand down his face.

"Went off on another angel mission. Said he'll be back by nightfall to check on her."

"Good, good." Dean sighed.

"You know we have extra beds right? You're getting blood all over your sheets." Sam said glancing sideways at his brother.

"They can be washed." Dean shrugged. Sam smiled to himself but quickly hid it before Dean could see. His mind wandered back to the night in the motel when he had drank himelf into oblivion and had awoken the next morning to find a black bra on the floor by Dean's bed. Dean wouldn't talk about it of course but Sam remembered who he had came back to the motel with.

"I'll go call Garth, get some one in on the vampire. You wanna make lunch?" Sam said trying to distract his brother.

"Yeah sure." Dean replied without really hearing Sam. He was too caught up in the steady rise and fall of Cas's chest. Sighing again he pulled out his desk chair and sat down.

Three days later Dean still hadn't moved from his room. Sam would come to feed him, talk to him for a few minutes and then leave seeing that his conversation was one sided. Castiel came to check on the girl, reassuring Dean she was healing, and then leave for another mysterious angel mission. Dean did take the time to get some water and clean Cas up some, her clothes were torn and bloody so he put her in one of his bigger tee shirts while he threw everything else away. He still puzzled over the bite marks on her skin and vowed to find out about her past. He called some old hunter buddies, dug around on the internet and even set Sam to task but her history was a mystery. What ever had happened to her would have to come from her.

When Cassidy's eyes flew open in the early morning hours she was greeted by a strange room and a sleeping Winchester. Dean was slouched in his chair drooling onto his chest when she turned her head quickly trying to get her bearings.

"Dean"?" she croaked out through a dry throat. Her voice didn't carry past her lips though so she coughed to try again. Dean bolted upright in his chair at the sound.

"Cassidy, are you ok?" Dean asked her lunging to the bed to sit beside her.

"Where am I?" she asked looking around in a panic. The last thing she remembered was being attacked by a huge snarling werewolf.

"You're in our bunker, you're safe." Dean assured he taking her hand in his.

"Your…bunker…" Cas tried to piece together some kind of idea where she was. "Right, Sam told me you two were Men of Letters now."

"What happened Cas? Your friend said you were hunting a vampire with a pet werewolf." Dean asked her.

"Marianne! Oh my god, I have to let her know I'm ok!" Cas tried to fight her way out of the sheets but Dean held her still with his hands on her shoulders.

"She knows Cas, just calm down. We've been keeping her updated." Dean told her. Cas stopped struggling and all her strength fled. She found herself falling into Dean's chest.

"How long have I been out?" she asked as she felt Dean's warm body against hers.

"Three, four days. Cas, the angel Castiel, healed you but you were pretty beat up." Dean explained. He looked down into her face and saw the deep blue staring back at him. Instantly his mind reminded him of their kisses and almost one night stand. Heat flooded his system but he argued with the hormones. The girl had just woken up from a damn coma for god's sake.

"The angel saved me?" she asked confused. Dean sat her back in the bed and told her everything that had happened from the time he got the phone call until now.

"So Garth has a crew on the vampire?" she asked. Her mouth was incredibly dry and she coughed.

"Yeah, they should be taking him out any time now. Here." Dean poured her some water and handed her the glass.

"Damn." she sighed.

"What?"

"I really wanted to nail that bastard myself." she said. She drained the glass of water, placed down the cup and looked up to see Sam in the doorway.

"Cas!" Sam said relief evident in his voice as he strode to the bed and sat down to hug her. She was totally engulfed in his huge body but hugged him back.

"Hey Sammy." she smiled at him. She flipped some of his long hair out of her face as she drew back to look up at him. He was the same old Sammy, soft warm eyes, happy smiling lips and long hair that fell in his face constantly.

"Glad to see you awake, how're you feeling?" Sam asked her as Dean paced around the room.

"I'm thirsty, hungry and I really need to pee." Cassidy replied blushing slightly.

"Of course you are, here let me help you to the bathroom." Sam said instantly jumping up to hold out his hand for her. She slowly and weakly got to her feet but then looked down at herself.

"Where are my clothes?" she asked pulling the shirt down to cover up more of her legs.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. They were pretty tore up and bloody. Thats…uh…that's mine." Dean said apologizing.

"Let me get you some pants." Sam said handing her off to Dean and leaving the room.

"He thinks his pants are going to fit me?" Cas asked Dean with a small smile.

"Uh, we have some misc sized clothes here, in case of emergencies." Dean explained trying not to notice the mile or so of leg that Cas was showing under his shirt. It was one of his favourite ones too, soft, worn and stretched.

"Interesting supplies you keep darling." Cas teased him. "But uh, I still really need to pee."

"Oh right, sorry." Dean said and started to lead her towards the bathroom. He showed her into the room and shut the door to give her some privacy. Sam came up to him with a pair of small jogging pants that should fit Cassidy.

"Should we call Cas to give her a check?" Sam asked while they waited for her to finish.

"Nah, he said he'd be back by dark. But we need to get her some food. She's lost weight." Dean said with worry.

"Listen Dean, I…ugh…" Sam said glancing towards the door to make sure Cas wasn't coming out.

"Sam don't." Dean warned his brother knowing that tone of voice all too well. Sam wanted to talk about feelings and Dean was just too exhausted.

"Right. I'll go get some groceries and you make sure she relaxes." Sam gave up and handed over the pants.

"Don't forget the…"

"Pie, I know Dean." Sam sighed.

Cassidy glanced around the library of the bunker in awe. All these books! She pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders before going to one side and trailing her fingers over the spines of the old books. All the lore in the universe was here, hidden behind titles and an odd author here and there. Plus the large table was obviously meant to be filled with people pouring through the books looking for answers to questions that had plagued humanity since the dawn of time. Cas wasn't a bookie like Sam but she felt the draw of all this knowledge.

"Cas? Cassidy?" she heard Dean's voice calling from down the hall. She turned to see him jogging past the doorway before bringing up short.

"Cas? What are you doing up here?" he asked coming up to here and trying not to show how panicked he had been.

"I can't stay in that bed any longer Dean, I need to get moving." she tried to explain.

"But you still need rest." Dean argued.

"Its been a week Dean, I'm fine." she gave him a soft smile. "I need to get back into action or I'll turn into some old spinster."

"I doubt you'll ever be an old spinster." Dean smirked at her.

"Dean, darling…I'm going crazy being treated like an invalid." Cas said running her finger down Dean's arm in a well tested wile that women throughout the centuries. Dean looked down and watched her finger.

"We, well, we could spar if that would help." Dean said distractedly.

"Oh Dean, you sure know how to sweet talk a girl." Cassidy said happily throwing the blanket to the floor and linking her arm through his. "Lead the way hunk."

Dean, coming out of his daze, looked at her in concern but started walking towards the bunkers training room. There were mats all over the floor, equipment up against walls and showers to the left of the room. Cas took one look around and squealed in delight.

"Now this is a place a girl could call home." she said bouncing around the mats. She reached down to take off her socks and tested the floor with the balls of her feet.

"We're going to take this nice and slow ok? Just a few rounds of boxing, maybe, and then its back to bed." Dean said. He was unlacing his own boots and kicking them off.

"Yes sir!" Cas saluted him and gave him a big smile.

"I'm serious Cassidy, you almost died." Dean said getting into his stance. Cas did the same and edged closer to the older hunter. Dean's eyes were weary, apprehensive about sparing with the small girl, but Cas was almost giddy to be moving again. The angel really did know his stuff, he had healed her up real good.

Cas and Dean circled each other until Dean threw the first punch. Cas knew it was half assed, meant for her to dodge, so she blocked instead. The ache in her arm felt good, letting her know she was still a hunter.

"Cas!" Dean scolded her knowing she had taken the hit instead of avoiding it.

"Bring it sugarplum." Cas smiled and swiped out at him quickly connecting with his jaw. Dean's frown made her laugh.

Seeming to actually realize she wanted to spar instead of play Dean made his next hit harder and she dodged it like she want meant to. They traded punches, kicks and blocks until Cassidy tripped on her pants leg and Dean pinned her easily to the mats.

"Sloppy." Dean chided her helping her up.

"Its these damned pants. There's a reason I wear skinny jeans while hunting." she explained reaching down to suddenly haul off the pants. Dean stumbled as he looked at her in just his old tee shirt and her undies.

"What the hell?" he asked as she crouched again.

"Its skin darling, you've seen it before." she smiled cheekily. Instead of giving him a chance to prepare she launched into a series of punches that he had to quickly block. To his surprise Cassidy was laughing the entire time.

This time she managed to pin him to the mat and instead of jumping up she straddled his waist.

"Cas?" Dean asked unsure of what was happening.

"Thank you Dean, for taking care of me." Cas said leaning down to kiss him gently. He let his arms wrap themselves around her back and pulled her closer. She put her weight on her elbows and ran her hands through his hair. He hummed against her lips with each gentle tug she gave. Before she could stop herself Cas found her hips moving and grinding against Dean. His obvious erection and his jeans rubbed against her with delicious friction and she moaned into his mouth.

Dean probed at Cas's mouth with his tongue until she opened her mouth to let him inside. Their tongues swept together and Dean let his hands roam up in under Cas's shirt. Her skin was slightly covered in sweat but soft and warm.

"Dean? Cas?" came Sam's voice from the door of the bunker and Cas pulled back to shoot a glare in his direction.

"Come to my room later?" Dean asked Cas as soon as she started to push herself off of him. He held her still and made her look at him.

"I…" she hesitated.

"Please? Nothing has to happen if you don't want it to." Dean assured her even though he didn't know how he'd stop himself from at least kissing her. God she was intoxicating.

"Ok." she smiled at him shyly. He leaned up to give her a quick kiss before letting her get off of him.

Dean paced his room like a teenage girl and he hated it. Sam had gone to bed an hour ago and Cassidy wasn't far behind him. Dean had caught the heated gaze she sent him and raced off to his room to clean up and wait for the girl. But the longer he waited the more anxious he became. Would Cas show up? Would she want to talk or just get to the good stuff? And what did Dean want her to want? God this was killing him!

There was a small knock at his door that made him stop his pacing. He looked up quickly and his heart started beating hard. Still reprimanding himself for his teenage behaviour he went to the door to open it.

"Hello Dean." Cas said with a smile on her face. Dean saw that she had changed her clothes, putting on something Dean had never seen before. It was a short sundress that showed off the miles and miles of her long legs and Dean felt his breath leave his chest in a huff. The light yellow color was lovely on her.

"Where did you get the dress?" Dean asked the stupidest question he could.

"I had Sam go shopping for me. As much as I enjoy your hand me downs I need something of my own." she explained. "May I come in?"

"Of course." Dean said stepping back stupidly to let the door swing open. He had thought her sexy in his tee shirts but in a dress she was stunning. It added an innocence to her that made Dean have some uncomfortable feelings. Like suddenly she was more then just a woman, she was a person.

Cassidy strolled into his room on her bare feet and shut the door silently behind her. Dean gulped quietly as he heard the lock click.

"What did you want to see me about?" Cas asked as she padded over to his bed and sat down. Her dress rode up to show off her legs even more and Dean couldn't put two words together in his head. God he just wanted to explore her entire body…with his mouth.

"I just thought we could…ugh talk I guess." Dean said rubbing his hand through his hair in a nervous gesture.

"Talk?" she gave him a devilish smirk as she crossed her legs.

"Yeah, I mean…if you want." he said. Why the hell did this girl make him so nervous? It wasn't like he was a virgin for god's sake, he was Dean Winchester!

"Sure we could talk…" Cas said getting up and walking up to Dean. She placed her hands on his chest and leaned up on her tip toes until she was a breath away from his lips.

"Or we could do other…things." she breathed against him and Dean shuddered with the feeling. He closed his eyes and fought his instant desire.

"Where, uh, where did you grow up? I know it was in the south." he struggled to think past the urges flooding him.

"Because of my accent?" she asked backing away from him. Dean instantly wished she was back against him but he knew if he wanted to get to know Cassidy it was best if he wasn't in her immediate space. And he did want to get to know her.

"Yeah." he said watching as she sat back on the bed. He pulled out the desk chair and made himself sit down.

"And now? Where do you think I'm from now?" Cassidy asked him in a strong British accent. It was impeccable, and he had heard Crowley sling that accent for years now.

"What?" he asked surprised.

"What about now?" she asked sounding like she was from somewhere in Africa. It was amazing.

"How are you doing that?" Dean asked letting a smile slip.

"Accents are easy, and they can be a great disguise." she shrugged going back to her usual southern sugar accent.

"So whats the real Cassidy sound like?" Dean asked her. He bent over to rest his elbows on his knees.

"The real Cassidy? I don't know." she said looking away from him. Her nerves seemed to be rising cause she rose from the bed and paced around his room looking at the sparse decorations. "Are all these yours?"

"Yup, all my own personal collection." he got up and joined her at the wall of blades. He pointed to one "That one is from Purgatory."

"What was it like?" she asked

"It was…brutal." he said. She was looking at him with those large blue eyes and he felt like she could straight into his soul, just like Castiel.

"What do you want Dean?" Cas asked him. He shook his head trying to understand what she was asking.

"What do you mean?" he finally had to ask her. She turned her back on him looking over the blades some more.

"From all the stories of Dean Winchester I've heard on the road I never pictured you as a talker. You're usually a doer." she said. She picked up the picture of Dean's family and looked at it.

"Is that what you want?" he asked suddenly hurting with the idea that Cassidy would only want him for the same thing all the other women in his life had wanted.

"I don't do relationships Dean." she said placing the picture back.

"Why not?" he asked surprising both of them. Why did he suddenly feel like he had been punched in the lungs?

"Because I'm a hunter and our life style doesn't exactly breed white picket fences." she shook her head refusing to look at him. "And I'm messed up Dean."

"How?" he asked stepping up against her back. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently turned her around. Her eyes were downcast so Dean reached down to lift up her chin with his fingers.

"I'm broken." she whispered as she looked up to his green eyes.

"We're all broken." he replied with the same answer she had given him in that motel room all those nights ago.

"Some people can be fixed, I'm not one of them." she shook her head out of his grip and stepped back from him. "I really should be getting to sleep." she said stepping around him and heading for the door.

"Cassidy, don't run away from me again." Dean said clenching his fists to stop from grabbing her and bringing her back to his side.

"We're hunters Dean, running is what we do." she sighed but she stopped with her hand on the door knob.

"Maybe we can…fix each other?" Dean ventured. Cassidy's head shot up and she looked at the hunter behind her. Her eyes were wide with surprise and she didn't speak. After a heated moment where neither of them breathed she shook her head.

"Good night Dean." she said and left.

"Castiel." Cassidy closed her eyes and prayed in the dim room. The rustle of feathers announced Cas's appearance and she opened her eyes to look at the angel who had saved her life.

"Where are you going?" Castiel asked her as he noticed the small packed bag on her shoulder.

"I'm all better now, its time I get back to my life." she said trying not to show the panic in her voice.

"Dean and Sam know?" he asked her in his oh so serious voice. Cas looked away from him guiltily.

"Its better if they don't." she replied. "Please Castiel, just take me to my car."

"Dean will be upset." he said but stepped closer to her. The crinkle of his trench coat filled the room as he hesitated in raising his arm.

"Its better this way." she said again.

"For whom?" Cas asked her softly.

"For him." she replied finally looking at him. Her eyes were pleading and Castiel could see how much she was tearing herself apart with this decision.

"You humans are so confusing." he sighed but touched her forehead and flew her to her car. It was exactly where she had left her, in a parking lot in Delaware with what looked to be a thousand parking tickets on the windshield.

"Thank you Castiel." she said to the angel who was still looking at her with confusion.

"You do not wish Dean to know where I took you?" he asked her as she unlocked the car and threw in her bag.

"He's smart, he'll probably figure it out." she said.

"Why do you insist on leaving him? Did he do something to upset you?" Cas asked.

"Its personal Cas." she shrugged.

"Ah." he replied. He stood too close to her but she was used to it now, that was just Castiel.

"Thank you for everything Castiel." Cassidy said hugging the angel. He stood there woodenly while she did it.

"If you ever need my assistant again just pray to me." Cas said nodding good bye to the girl before flying off again. She stood alone next to her car and fought the tears that wanted to flow. Dammit, this was why she didn't get attached!

Cas slid into her car and started the familiar engine with mixed feelings. The bunker had been nice, a warm welcoming place to stay while she recovered, but Cherry was her home. The smell of leather, the creak of the springs when Cas slid inside and the soft hum of the music from the stereo were like coming home.

"Hey Cherry, did you miss me?" she asked the car running her hand over the dash with love. As usual the car didn't answer her but her cell did start to ring from the glove box. She reached over to get it and sighed as she saw the name on display. Tossing it to the seat she put the car in gear and pulled out of the lot.


	5. Chapter 5

**5 (after Sam completes the trials and is possessed by Ezekiel)**

She shouldn't have stayed away so long. Cassidy knew this, knew she had to face the Winchesters again no matter how she felt. But between the monsters, demons and angels she found time slipping away from her. Before she knew it the days turned to months and the months to years. She drove from place to place with an unfamiliar ache in her chest. Hunting eased the ache slightly but every night she spent alone in some motel room brought it back full force. Cassidy finally admitted she was lonely, she missed the bunker and the men inside of it.

She had prayed to Castiel a couple of times but the angel didn't answer her. Either he was too busy or too pissed to care. Cas couldn't blame him, she saw the way he looked at Dean and she had hurt the hunter. But it really had been for the best. So she kept telling herself.

When the angels fell Cassidy had been in the middle of a wooded area tracking a monster who had ran off with a small girl. She had found the girl's small broken body by a stream and was now tracking the beast for revenge. It was black in the woods but the angels lit up the sky like comets as they plummeted to earth. She didn't have any idea what was happening until one landed in front of her making the earth explode and throwing her into a tree. She landed awkwardly and knew she broke her arm. But she pusehd up and went to inspect the crater that had opened up in front of her.

Nothing could have prepared her for the human figure crawling out of the dirt moaning in pain. And her heart stopped when she saw it was a young boy, no more then 12.

"Are you ok?" Cassidy asked as she ran into the dirt to help him up. His hair was messy with mud, the dirt obscuring its real color. His clothes were torn and just as dirty but he looked at Cassidy with large blue eyes that held pain.

"Where am I? Who are you?" he asked in a voice that was on the verge of being a man's. It squeaked and cracked charmingly and Cassidy smiled at him.

"You're in California, my name is Cassidy but you can call me Cas." she said pulling off her coat for him, hissing as her broken arm moved.

"You're hurt." the boy said looking at her arm.

"Its nothing, lets make sure you're alright before worrying about me." she ignored her own pain.

"No, let me fix it." he said lifting his hand to place it on her arm. His skin glowed blue and her arm was instantly better.

"You're an angel!" she said in shock.

"I am. My name is Afriel." he introduced himself.

"What happened?" Cas asked the angel who looked like he had been rolled in mud and tossed to earth.

"There was a spell. We've been thrown from heaven." Afriel said looking up to the sky. The night stars stared back at him coldly.

"Who was thrown from heaven?" she asked confused.

"All of us." he said and the horror was evident on his childish face. Cas's skin erupted in goose bumps at his look.

"Well Afriel I have some friends who know a thing or two about angels. How about we get you cleaned up and we go see them?" she said trying to comfort the terrified angel. She wrapped her coat around his shoulders and helped him out of the hole in the ground.

"Thank you." Afriel said to her in gratitude.

Sam wasn't answering his phone and Cassidy was fed up enough to drive to the bunker to see why not. Surely he knew when she called it wasn't just for kicks any more. A distance strained their friendship now and Cas knew it was all her fault.

"Where are we going?" Afriel asked her as he sat in the passenger seat watching the highway in front of them. He was cleaned up now, looking like a real boy instead of a mud cake. Cas had gotten him some proper clothes and she was sure she could pass off the brown haired boy as her own son if the need arose.

"Kansas." she replied hanging up her cell from trying to call Sam yet again.

"Who are these friends of yours?" he asked between bites of a chocolate bar. Cas was happy to find that he had the appetite of a young boy as well as the appearance. She didn't like it when Castiel had refused to eat or drink with the humans. It just made him seem…different.

"They're good people Afriel, don't worry." she assured him. But she knew the Winchesters had a reputation with the angels and she didn't want to worry the kid.

"I trust you Cassidy." he said honestly.

"Hey, what are you the angel of? I know all of you guys have some kind of title." she asked him to change the subject.

"I am the Angel of Youth." he said proudly.

"Which explains the vessel." she said and he nodded.

"I prefer my vessels to reflect my true form as much as possible." he told her.

"So you're really a kid then?"

"I am over three millennia in age Cassidy, but my true form is much more youthful then my brother and sister angels." he said.

"Three millennia huh?" Cas said with a lot of discomfort. She didn't like to think about the fact that she had an angel older then dirt riding shot gun in her car.

"I have seen much." he replied looking out the window again."I can imagine." she agreed. Silence fell over the car as she drove.

It took them almost four days to get to Kansas as Afriel would spot angels in distress along the way. He would try to help them as much as he could but in the end it only seemed to depress him. By the time they arrived at the bunker he was slouched in the seat staring moodily at the dash. Cas had to remind herself quite a lot that the grumpy kid next to her in the ninja turtles tee shirt was actually an ancient angel.

"We're here." she said drawing Afriel out of his moody stare as she parked in front of the bunker. Dean's car was no where to be seen and Cas hoped that meant he was out and Sam there alone.

"The Men of Letters are your friends?" Afriel asked getting out of the car while she grabbed their bags.

"They are." she nodded. He looked around curiously as Cas went to the front door and banged. It took a while but eventually she heard the door being opened.

"Who's there?" came Dean's gruff voice from behind the metal.

"Is that any way to greet an old friend?" she asked putting on her best honey and sugar southern voice. Inside she was freaking out, not ready to see Dean again after all this time. Especially not after how she had ran away like a coward.

"Cassidy?" Dean asked in shock as he threw open the door. Immediately he saw the kid by her side and lifted his gun again.

"Easy Dean, easy. This is Afriel, he's an angel." she said holding up her hands and standing in front of the angel.

"That's not a good thing Cas." he said still aiming at the brown haired kid.

"He's not dangerous Dean, he fell from heaven and he's looking for help." she tried to explain.

"They all are." he said but he lowered his gun. "What are you doing here Cassidy?" he asked in a sigh.

"Can we come in?" she asked thrown off by his attitude.

"Sure, I guess." he said stepping back inside so they could follow. Cas led Afriel inside and he looked around th bunker eagerly.

"Hey Sammy, look who's here." Dean called and Sam looked up from the book he had been reading. He looked like he had gone three rounds with a t-rex but he smiled at Cassidy warmly.

"Hey stranger." he said getting up to give her a hug. He glanced at Afriel and Cas introduced him. Just as the introduction was made a small asian kid came into the room looking tired and depressed. He was introduced as Kevin Tran, the prophet of the moment.

"What happened guys? I was hunting in Cali when Afriel just fell in front of me. And why aren't you answering your phone?" she asked Sam.

"Its a long story, you got time to stick around and hear it?" Dean asked her and she heard the accusation in his voice.

"I can stay. Afriel, sit down, you're making me nervous." she sighed as the kid stood directly behind her. He moved around her and sat stiffly in a chair across from Sam where he starred at the man non stop. Cas sighed, this was the way he had acted around her the first few days as well, all stiff and formal. Must be an angel thing.

"You want a drink?" Dean asked Cas while Sam looked back nervously at Afriel.

"Yeah sure." she shrugged trying to smile at him. Dean gave her a hard stare before heading off to the kitchen.

"There is history between you and the older Winchester?" Afriel said surprising her. She blushed a deep red and Sam coughed. Kevin smiled at the kid.

"You don't just say stuff like that Afriel, even if you are a kid." Cas sighed. To take off some of the heat Kevin began to talk to Afriel.

"Where did you go Cas?" Sam asked her softly and she knew he meant after she fled from the bunker.

"I want back to hunting." she said sitting down next to Sam at the table. Afriel was back to staring at Sam.

"He damn near tore Cas's wings off you know." Sam said quietly looking to make sure Dean wasn't coming back yet.

"I'm sorry Sam, I really am." she apologized.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." he said. "Why did you leave without saying good bye? Did we do something? Did Dean do something?"

"No, no, it was all on me Sam." she said. Before she could go further Dean came back into the library with four beers and a glass of milk.

"Figured since the meat suit is under age we'd better stick with the milk." he explained to Afriel placing the glass in front of him. He handed a beer to everyone before sitting down and joining them.

"So?" Cas said urging them to start the story. Dean sighed but went on to tell her and Afriel about the tablets, planning to close the gates of hell, the trials and Metatron's betrayal of Castiel. Afriel looked on in silence but his face became darker and darker the more Dean talked.

"Castiel is a good angel, a good warrior but he does thinks without thinking. He trusts too easily." Afriel said defending the angel.

"Yeah, he does." Dean agreed draining the rest of his beer.

"Where is he now?" Cas asked. She had assumed if the angels had fallen he would immediately find the Winchesters for help.

"He's out in the world, being human." Sam said with a dark look at Dean.

"And whose idea was that?" Afriel said looking pointedly at Sam.

"Not mine, I wanted him here." Sam defended himself.

"You sent Cas away?" Cassidy asked Dean surprised. Dean wouldn't look at her but shrugged.

"Its getting late Cassidy, we should get to our motel." Afriel said suddenly uncomfortable.

"Motel? No way, you guys are staying here." Sam said immediately. Dean was watching him closely but slowly nodded his agreement.

"Yeah sure, I mean its not like we don't have the room." he shrugged.

"Thanks guys, but we shouldn't. I'm sure you have stuff to be doing." Cas said feeling uncomfortable with the idea of staying at the bunker again.

"Its just one night Cas." Dean surprised her by speaking directly to her. There was something in his eyes that Cas just couldn't understand.

"I think it may be wise Cassidy." Afriel said and she finally agreed.

"In the morning I think we should go find Castiel, maybe he can give you some help?" Cassidy said to the angel and he nodded. He glanced around the library in curiosity.

"Would you like to look around? Read a little? Or are you a sleeping angel?" Kevin asked the kid and Afriel shook his head.

"I do not sleep. And I would very much like to read a little." he smiled at Kevin. "And maybe to talk to my father's prophet."

"Uh, yeah sure I guess." Kevin hesitated before leading Afriel over to a bookshelf. Dean got up and left so Sam showed Cassidy to her old room. It was the same, bare walls, bare floor, large bed. Cas felt her guilt return full force as she looked at the room she had recovered in. Across the hall was Dean's room and her stomach clenched.

"Whatever you did or didn't do Cas, I think now is the time to fix it." Sam said before giving her a quick one armed hug and trailing back to the library.

Cassidy sat on the bed debating wether to go to Dean or just ignore the problem like she had in the past when there was a knock on her door. Glancing at the clock she saw that it was way too late for someone to be paying a courtesy call so she assumed it was Afriel.

"Yeah?" she asked opening the door widely and then stopping in shock as Dean stared back at her.

"Dean." she said her breathing becoming uneven and her heart racing.

Dean didn't say anything. Instead he stepped up to her and kissed her before she had time to argue. His lips were hard against hers, more angry then passionate but she closed her eyes and kissed him back. She had dreamt of his lips more nights then not, so eager against her own. With no hesitation he pushed her inside and slammed the door behind him all the while sweeping his tongue into her mouth. He assaulted her mouth and a low growl came from his chest. Cassidy's desire ratcheted to new levels and she ran her nails down his back.

"Clothes." Dean said against her mouth and they broke apart enough to strip all the clothes away. She stared at the hunter in front of her, all tan skin and muscles. Her mouth practically watered at the sight of him. But Dean wasn't in the mood to look, he stepped into her again and was kissing her hard. He walked her back to the bed and then pushed her back to lie down. His aggressive actions turned Cas on like nothing else could and she moaned.

"Hands up." Dean commanded of her before taking her wrists and pinning them above her head. He wasn't gentle but Cas didn't like gentle. She writhed in under him trying to get him between her legs. She felt him hard and ready but he held back, teasing her with his hard kisses and wet tongue.

"Dean, please…" she begged as she bucked against him. He was running one hand up her thigh, using his thumb to spread her wide.

"You don't get to beg." He said angrily drawing back just enough so that Cassidy could see the conflict in his lust blown eyes. He was mad, as mad as she'd ever seen him, but there was passion in his eyes as well. He wanted her but he hated that he wanted her.

"Fuck me Dean." she said using the anger she saw. She struggled against his hand to free her own but he just held her tighter.

"I've wondered how you'd feel in under me." he said quietly while leading kisses along her jaw and nipping at her skin. Over her pulse point he drew on her skin, making small bruises on the pale flesh. Cassidy groaned and thrust her hips against him. He used his free hand to hold her hip down.

"So soft, so strong." he said absently. Cas was growing desperate.

"Please Dean…" she moaned closing her eyes and letting her body move against him. With a deep growl he moved so that he was nudging her entrance.

"Move." he demanded and with no more urging Cas moved her body to push him inside. She moaned wildly and Dean tensed in pleasure.

"Fuck…" he moaned as she worked him inside. With each thrust of her hips he was inching in and he felt fucking amazing. Cas's body closed around him and she moaned.

Wrenching his hand away from her wrists he propped himself up on his arms and pushed himself all the way inside. Cassidy sank her nails into his back and he growled. He thrust into her harder, the headboard banging against the wall. She knew they would be heard but that just made her desire stronger. Dean was so far gone in what they were doing he didn't care if Sam heard them. That was sexy as hell.

"Knew you'd feel good." Dean mumbled as he fucked her. His arms were straining to hold up his own weight while pushing inside of her.

"Kiss me Dean." Cassidy pleaded trying to draw him down to her lips. She wanted his lips and tongue but he ignored her to drill into her harder. She loved the way he was pushing her into the mattress, his weight and actions barely letting her move. He closed his eyes, enjoying all the sensations coursing through his body and that pushed Cassidy over the edge. Knowing Dean was inside her, enjoying her, made her clench around him. She threw her head back and screamed his name as she came. Her breathing was erratic and she was almost sure she blacked out. When she came back to herself she felt Dean give one final thrust before shouting his own end. He slumped against her and she wrapped her arms around him to hold him close.

She as enjoying the feeling of his weight on her when he suddenly pushed himself up. She could only watch in confusion as he pulled on his jeans and grabbed his shirt off the floor.

"Dean?" she asked as he went to the door.

"One night, that was all you wanted wasn't it?" he growled over his shoulder and then he was gone.

Cassidy didn't waste any time getting out of the bunker the next morning. Luckily Sam knew what had happened and aided in her escape. By the time Dean was yawning awake and growling for coffee Cassidy and Afriel were on the road to find Castiel. Cas hadn't slept at all and she was in a surly mood. Afriel wasn't much better, he was asking many questions and when her answers weren't good enough he drew out the dreaded "why?"

"I don't know Afriel! For god's sake you've been looking at humanity for thousands of years, haven't you learned anything?!" she snapped and the boy lowered his head.

Cassidy felt instantly ashamed of herself and pulled off the road. As Cherry sat idling she let out a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Afriel, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. You have every right to be curious about humanity and I'll try my best to help you." she apologized.

"Did you know Sam Winchester has an angel hiding inside of him?" Afriel said and Cas's eyes widened.

"What?!" she shouted. Again she forced herself to calm down before turning in her seat to look at the angel.

"I'm not sure who it is, they stayed very far back while I was there." he said and that didn't help ease Cas at all.

"Is he in danger? Sam I mean."

"No, if the angel wanted to kill him then he would be dead already. From what Dean said about the trials I think the angel is healing him. But why he decided to stay hidden is bothering me." Afriel thought out loud.

"Let me find out." Cas said grabbing her phone and making the decision to call Dean no matter what had happened between them.

The line rang a few times before Dean answered with a growling "what?"

"Good morning to you too darling." Cas said even though Dean's voice made her body tight. He might have acted like an ass last night but that didn't change the orgasm she had.

"What do you want?" Dean asked and he sounded a little weary.

"Why does Sam have an angel hiding inside him? And why doesn't he know?" she said and Dean's silence was immediate.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." he replied in a horrible attempt at a lie.

"Well Afriel knows and I think Sam would have mentioned it had he known." she said. On the other end of the line she heard Dean's heavy boots stomping around and the slamming of a door.

"Cassidy, you listen to me. Ezekiel is helping heal Sam, but if Sam finds out he'll cast him out and he'll die. So please don't tell him." Dean begged.

"Until when?" she asked.

"Until he's better, I don't have a better answer than that." Dean sighed. She could tell it as weighing heavily on him.

"Who else knows?" she asked.

"Not a soul." he replied.

"Castiel doesn't know?" she was surprised.

"No, that's why I drove him away. Zeke said that if Cas stayed he would eventually let it slip."

"That's not fair to Cas Dean." Cassidy said.

"I know." Dean sighed again.

"I'll tell Afriel its a need to know ok. But you make sure wingy gets out of Sam as soon as possible." she demanded.

"I know." he replied. The line went silent with so many things left unsaid between them.

"I'm sorry Dean, about everything." Cassidy said and quickly hung up the line before Dean could ask any questions. She turned off her phone and started the car back onto the road.

"Castiel?" Afriel said spying the fallen angel in the convenience store before Cassidy had a chance to look properly. She swung her head around and sure enough she spotted the dark haired seraph tending to a slushy machine.

"Yes?" Cas asked as he looked over at them. His eyes held recognition of Cassidy and he smiled.

"Cassidy, nice to see you again." he said with a genuine smile.

"You too Cas." she stepped in to hug him and he returned it awkwardly.

"Castiel this is Afriel, a distant relation of yours." Cas said introducing the young angel who was looking at Castiel with obvious awe.

"I…I don't have any…" Cas started when he caught the look Cassidy was giving him. It took him a moment but he got the point.

"Castiel, its an honour to finally meet you." Afriel said shaking his hand enthusiastically.

"Ok kid, calm down." Cas smiled placing her hand on his shoulder.

"What are you doing with…him?" Cas asked her glancing around at the other customers.

"When's your break? Maybe we should have lunch and catch up Cas." Cassidy said and they all agreed to meet at the small diner across the road. Afriel and Cas strolls over to the diner and got the most private booth in the place. The fallen angel was practically bouncing in his seat.

"Whats your problem?" Cas asked him as he fidgeted yet again.

"Castiel is a legend in heaven. The seraph who went against the law for the love of a Winchester." Afriel explained to her.

"He's in love with Dean?" She asked not really surprised.

"That's the word in heaven, why else would he rebel and cause all this?" he asked her.

"Doesn't heaven have anything better to do then gossip over a couple of guys?" Cas said slouching in her seat. Great, the angel was in love with Dean. How exactly did someone compete with an angel?

"Its not just a couple of guys Cassidy, its Dean Winchester, the Righteous Man." he said seemingly confused by her lack of enthusiasm.

"Yeah, I get it." she sighed. She sat up straighter as she seen Castiel come in through the door and then head to their booth. Afriel watched him the whole way.

"Hello Cassidy, Afriel." he greeted them sliding in to the booth next to Cassidy. Afriel looked a little disappointed but Cas knew it was mainly due to the fact that he knew her already.

"You are an angel?" Castiel said to Afriel after a moments pause. Afriel nodded.

"The Angel of Youth." Cassidy said trying to get some brownie points for the kid.

"Ah." was all Cas said.

"How have you been Cas?" Cassidy asked the fallen angel.

"Its been difficult, as I'm sure Afriel has told you." he said in that deep gravel voice of his.

"No, it hasn't been too hard at all." Afriel disagreed.

"What?"

"Cassidy found me as soon as I fell, and she has been kind enough to look after me, help me to adjust to this world."

"You have been very fortunate Afriel. Most of us have to find our own way." Castiel said and Afriel's face dropped.

"He has been fortunate. And I'm sure Dean and Sam have helped you as well." Cas said to distract the angel.

"Dean…he made me realize I need to make my own way." Castiel replied.

"Afriel can you give me and Castiel a minute please. Go and grab some menus or something." Cassidy said. She normally wouldn't be so direct but she knew the kid could be a little dense some times, and he wouldn't take offence to the request.

"I need to talk to you Castiel, about Dean." Cassidy said turning to look directly at Castiel.

"What about Dean?"

"Do you love him?" she asked. Castiel looked confused at the question and his eyebrows drew down.

"Of course I love him, he is the Righteous Man." he replied.

"Ok, are you romantically in love with him?" she asked a different way.

"Oh." he said and blushed.

"Crap." Cas sighed and put her head in her hands.

"No, I am not romantically in love with Dean Cassidy. My interest lies in a different direction." Cas surprised her and she looked up.

"What?" she asked.

"I know what they say in heaven, and hell, about me and Dean. But I assure you I am not attracted to him that way. We share a profound bond but that is because he carries my grace in him. My heart belongs to another, someone who isn't with us any more." Castiel said and Cassidy was sure it was the most she had ever heard him talk.

"I'm sorry Castiel." Cassidy said placing her hand on his. She gave it a quick squeeze.

"Are yo romantically in love with Dean?" Castiel asked her looking at her hand on his. Cas hauled her hand away and blushed.

"I don't fall in love Cas." she said quickly. She glanced up to see that Afriel was returning to the booth.

"Did you have enough time? I can go away again?" he asked trying to please the pair. Cassidy smiled at him. He was so young, so eager to please. What must he have been like in heaven?

"Its fine Afriel, come join us." Castiel said politely. He was studying Cassidy and it made her uneasy. Damn those blue eyes.

"I would like to try the pancakes." Afriel said totally oblivious to the uncomfortable conversation that had taken place without him. Cassidy grabbed at the subject change and the rest of the meal went easier.


	6. Chapter 6

**6 (somewhere between seasons)**

The last place Cassidy expected to see Dean was at a totally anonymous gas station outside some name less city she had been hunting in. But when she pulled up to the pumps she couldn't help but look over at the identical Chevy Impala parked at the other side.

"I'll get some snacks." Afriel said jumping from the car and going inside. The angel had been without sugar for almost two hours now and Cas was amazed he had survived.

Cassidy didn't say anything, just looked through the large glass windows at the Winchesters inside. Her heart was racing but she was frozen in spot. Sam she could handle, she had been exchanging texts and emails with him on a regular basis but Dean, she didn't know how to handle Dean. Afriel must have recognized the brothers and said hello because soon they were smiling and chatting. Cassidy quickly ducked her head and started pumping gas into Cherry.

"Cassidy?" came the deep rumble she had hoped to avoid. Sighing she looked over her car roof to see Dean walking towards her.

"Hello Dean." she said. Afriel and Sam were still talking inside but Sam threw her a wave when she looked in his direction.

"Where have you been? We haven't heard from you in months." Dean asked her. He stayed a few steps back and she could tell he was nervous.

"I've been chatting with Sam, he knows where I've been." she replied. She finished filling her car and then placed her hands in her pockets awkwardly.

"You're mad? At me?" Dean asked incredulously. Cas narrowed her eyes at him.

"Not just a pretty face then." she snarked.

"What the hell did I do?" Dean asked. That stupid question set Cassidy off and she stalked to him pointing a finger at his chest.

"You know exactly what you did Dean, and don't pretend I had any say in it." she hissed. Dean glanced behind him to see Sam and Afriel coming out of the store and looking at them both with concern. Dean grabbed Cas's arm and pulled her into the shadows of the alley next to the store.

"What are you talking about Cassidy? You wanted one night, I gave you one night." he said his voice lowered and sending glances at the mouth of the alley to make sure neither of the others were coming.

"You have me one angry fuck and then left after throwing shade. You know how that made me feel Dean? How I couldn't get the smell of you off of me for days after? That no matter how much I tried to see your side of things I just felt used and discarded?" she said with absolute rage in her chest.

"You felt used?!" Dean argued back "How do you think I felt when I offered you more, offered you me and you still ran away!"

"I run Dean, that's what we're both good at." she said refusing to back down.

"Not when theres something worth fighting for!" he replied. They both backed down a little when Sam came into sight.

"Everything ok guys?" he asked not coming further then the mouth of the alley.

"Yeah fine." Cas replied while Dean growled "not now Sammy" Sam held up his hands and backed away. The two of them looked back at each other and Dean chuckled.

"I guess we both fucked up." he said running his hand through his hair and grinning at her.

"Some more than others." Cassidy refused to let him off that easily.

"Come on Cas." Dean pleaded. Crossing her arms and sighing she rolled her eyes.

"Fine, yes, we both fucked up." she agreed. Dean was looking at her with those big green eyes and she dropped her arms. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." he said. He slowly raised his hands until he was able to grab her arms and pull her close. She breathed in the deep leather and masculine smell of him and relaxed against him. He wrapped her in his arms and laid a gentle kiss on her head.

"I worried about you." he admitted when her arms when around his waist. She didn't like that he worried but she appreciated the sentiment.

"Afriel and I have been traveling. He's a good angel." she explained. "Any word on when the angels can go home?"

"Nothing yet, Cas is working on it, and so are we." he said.

"I don't really know if he wants to go back to be honest. He likes it here." she looked up into Dean's face.

"He likes it with you." he replied.

"Its nice having someone to take care of." she shrugged against him.

"Where are you headed for the night? Sammy and I saw a motel a few miles back, maybe we could…" he asked. Cassidy tensed against him.

"We could what?" she asked him.

"Talk? Catch up? Play board games, whatever you want." he replied and she eased back.

"Ok." she nodded pulling away from him. She slid her hand into his and he gladly wrapped her small fingers in his.

"I do not understand." Afriel said and he sounded so much like Castiel that Dean let out a burst of laughter.

"Of course you don't." Cassidy shook her head as the grabbed the cards in front of her and shuffled them. They were playing a game of _Cards Against Humanity_ and the angel was horribly confused by the crude game.

"Its meant to be funny Afriel, its a human thing." she explained. As with most things that she couldn't explain she just told him it was a purely human vice and he accepted that.

They sat in a motel room playing the card game and Cassidy had to admit this was the best night she had had in a long time. It was relaxing, the laughter and beers making everyone happy. Even Afriel had taken a beer, although after a single sip he declared the drink wasn't for him. Castiel had flitted in for a moment but declared that he was on the trail of a lead and flew off again. Afriel watched him go with envy, the young angel was unable to retain the gift of flight when he had chosen this young vessel.

"I think I'll go to sleep." he grumbled as his lack of understanding irked him.

"Me too. It was great to see you again Cas." Sam said placing a warm hand on her shoulder as he stood. The two of them walked off to one of the two rooms in the suite they had sprang for leaving Dean and Cassidy alone.

"Want to watch some tv?" Dean asked her as he gathered up the beer bottles and put them in the sink.

"Yeah, sure." she said sitting on the large sofa and grabbing the channel guide. Dean came over sitting next to her and surprised her by pulling her back against his chest. His arm snaked around her and held her close.

"Presumptuous aren't we?" Cas asked but snuggled deeper into him.

"Don't tell me friends can't snuggle during a movie." he said with a smile.

"Do you and your friends snuggle often?" she teased.

"Oh yeah, all the time. Cas is a little snuggle bunny." he chuckled.

"I bet if you asked he would." she snorted.

"Give me that." Dean said snatching the guide out of her hand. "What kind of movies do you like?"

"No chick flicks." she said and Dean just looked at her.

"I think I love you." he told her and she smacked at him playfully. He laughed and flicked on the tv. Eventually they found a buddy action comedy they agreed on and they settled against each other to watch it.

Part way through the movie Dean started to run his fingers up and down Cas's bare arm making her shiver against him. He pulled her closer and buried his nose in her hair.

"I'm bored." he mumbled against her hair.

"You agreed to the movie." she sighed closing her eyes at the sensation of him at her back. When he pulled her hair aside to place a warm wet kiss on her neck she let out a little whimper.

"I can think of something much more entertaining." he whispered in her ear.

"You are the saddest pick up artist I've ever heard." Cassidy replied in a whisper as well. She drew his hand to her lips where she kissed his knuckles and drew one long finger into mouth. Dean groaned and moved his hips against her.

"But is it working?" he asked when she released his finger. She moved around until she was able to push him back against the sofa and straddle his lap.

"Keep going." she smirked at him pulling his shirt over his head. Again that beautiful tanned skin was in front of her and this time she would enjoy it. She leaned down to trail kisses along Dean's jawline and sucking on his collarbone. Dean laid his arms out along the back of the sofa and let her do as she pleased.

"I think I've made my point." he replied to her as she ran her fingers over his rock hard abs to the belt at his waist. Dean closed his eyes and let his head fall back as she suckled his neck and undid his belt.

"Just like a man, give up on the wooing once you got the girl in your lap." Cassidy smiled and Dean's lips twitched.

"I just thought I'd be nice and let you take the lead this time." he replied.

"How considerate." she snarked. She undid his belt and zipper while Dean began to pant.

"Do you want to take this to the bedroom?" Dean asked her when she teased him with her nails over the waist of his jeans.

"Why Dean? Are you afraid of being caught?" she asked as she slowly lowered her hand into his pants and felt him long and hard. Dean groaned loudly while opening his eyes to stare at her with lust.

"I was thinking about you." he said. He reached up to draw her close and lay a warm kiss on her. Cassidy stroked him slowly as their tongues mingled. He ran his hands under her shirt to grab a breast and used the other to cup her head. Her lips were soft, wet and perfect. Dean was addicted to her taste, her smell, her feeling. This was dangerous but he didn't care. He wanted her and he would have her. Slowly she eased back from him and started to climb off of his lap. Dean gave a small protest but it stopped when she merely knelt in front of him and undid his zipper the entire way. Out sprang his hard cock and she wrapped her fingers around it.

"Cas…" he breathed heavily but his breath caught in his throat when she leaned forward to lick a long wet line up his entire shaft. When his eyes fell closed and his head rested against the back of the sofa again she took her opportunity to suck him into her mouth.

"Jesus Christ!" he hissed and his hand went to her hair. The silken strands slid through his fingers as she bobbed her head. Her tongue laved up and down with each stroke and Dean felt his orgasm rising quickly.

"Cassidy, stop." he pleaded when he was afraid he would tip over the edge.

"Why?" she asked taking her mouth off his cock momentarily.

"Because I don't want to cum yet." he admitted. Her warm breath still fanned over him and his cock twitched in her hand.

"Poor baby, but its not up to you." she gave him a devilish grin and sucked him back into her mouth. She took as much of him in as she could and Dean moaned deeply. Didn't she have a gag reflex? She sucked and licked him mercilessly and it wasn't long before his fingers were digging into the sofa.

"I'm going to…" he hissed out between clenched teeth but he didn't get to finish the sentence because at that moment Cas took him as deep as she could and curled her tongue over the slit of his cock. He bucked against the sofa and then he was filling her mouth with his salty seed. To his surprise Cassidy didn't pull away but drank it all back. She continued to suck him until he became too sensitive and pushed her gently away.

"Can, baby…" he breathed in reverence as he drew her to his lips for a deep kiss. He could taste himself on her tongue but it didn't disgust him as he had expected. Instead it sent shockwaves through his entire body and he felt himself getting hard again.

"Well big boy, looks like you were just warming up." Cassidy raised an eyebrow looking down between them at his slowly swelling shaft.

"You can't keep a good man down." Dean chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Cas, stood and carried her to the other bedroom.

Dean was sure he could keep fucking Cassidy until neither of them could walk. Each time he felt her soft skin, warm lips and wet slit he grew harder. He was addicted, lost, and he couldn't fight the feelings. Luckily Cas seemed to be just as addicted.

Following his awesome blowjob he had spent an hour licking and sucking at Cassidy's body wringing orgasm after orgasm from her. She scratched and tore at his back until he felt the blood trickling down his sides but just when he thought the pain would have to make him stop she would lick him better. Her tongue worked miracles against him but it wasn't until he slipped inside of her that he felt sated. He worked over her and loved the way the faint light coming in from the motel sign shimmered over her sweat slicked skin.

"Cassidy…" he breathed against her neck as she wrapped her legs and arms around him tightly. She writhed against him and each move of her hips was working him into a frenzy. Jesus, that girl knew how to move that body. He was sure some devil had sculpted her just for sex.

"Don't stop Dean, please." she begged as he thrust against her.

"Never." he promised as he pushed up his elbows to look at her. Her bright blue eyes were lust blown and her lips were swollen with kisses…his kisses. He had left marks on her skin everywhere, wanting the world to know exactly who had put them there. The idea of Sam seeing them in the morning and knowing what they had done sent a delicious surge of possession through him. She was his!

"I'm close baby." Cassidy whimpered. Dean paused in his movements to roll over and put her on top of him. Can didn't miss a beat and began to ride him. Her head was thrown back and her long black hair tickled against his thighs as he thrust up to meet her every move. He placed his hands on her hips, almost bruising the skin there as he felt his own orgasm coming. He loved the way her nipples were hard and peaking on her tits. The red of the light made her look like sin incarnate.

"Dean!" she screamed finally and he felt her clench around him tightly. One final thrust had him cumming at the same time and he howled his delight to the ceiling. Cassidy collapsed on top of him panting hard. Her entire body shook with pleasure and Dean smiled to himself.

"You're amazing." he panted as he tried to catch his breath.

"Back at ya." Cassidy chuckled before sliding off of him and curling into his side. He lifted her head to place it on his chest and pulled up the sheet to cover them.

"I'm afraid Sam probably heard that." Cas said smiling up at Dean. Through the window the sunlight was starting to fight back the red of the sign.

"Then he gets to explain it to Afriel." Dean chuckled. Cassidy actually groaned in embarrassment at that thought.

"Are you glad this happened?" Dean asked Cas with his heart in his throat. She moved gently against him.

"Yes." she said and he let out the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"So what happens from here?" she asked. She wouldn't look up at him but she was running a nail over the skin on his ribs.

"I'd like to see you more often." Dean said honestly.

"Me too." she agreed. The sunlight finally beat back the red lighting and it streamed in through the window to fall across the bed. Cas wiggled her legs until they were tangled in Dean's.

"Can I call you?" he asked and Cassidy actually laughed.

"I guess you can." she finally looked up at him with a small smile. His green eyes sparkled in the morning sun and his lips were just perfect for kissing. So she did just that.


	7. Chapter 7

**7 (some random hook up)**

"How long do we have?" Dean asked against her mouth as he slammed the motel door closed behind him. Cassidy was trying to strip off his clothes and Dean stumbled as his pants caught in his feet.

"Not long enough." Cassidy sighed. She pulled off her own shirt and threw it wherever. She didn't care, she just needed to get naked so that she could feel Dean against her bare skin.

"Sam has his own room." Dean told her. She grinned as he lifted one leg to take off his heavy boot so she took her opportunity to send her pants off to wherever her shirt had gone. Her boots lay in the corner already so now she just stood in her bra and panties. She wished she had something nicer then the pale pink set that she had almost worn through but when Dean saw the color against her pale skin he let out a heavy breath.

"You look so good baby." he said throwing his boots away and standing there in his jeans and nothing else. His hair was ruffled from her fingers and his lips were wet from her kisses. Cassidy didn't know if she had ever seen anything look so damn tempting.

"Enough talking, more sexing." Cassidy demanded meeting his lips again. She gave a little jump and wrapped her strong legs around Dean's waist. He growled as her hot core rubbed along his abs. Jesus, she was on fire.

Dean turned to the bed, or at least he hoped he did as he couldn't see anything with his eyes closed and Cas's tongue down his that. Once he hit the solid feeling mattress with his knees he let them drop down so that he pinned Cas in under his weight. She was digging her nails into his shoulders and writhing against him eagerly.

"Please Dean, its been too long." Cas pleaded with him when he stood up to pull off his jeans. With a sexy grin he hooked his thumbs into her panties and pulled them off. Cas raised herself up and threw her bra across the room. His motions froze when he saw the new addition to her skin.

"Thats new." he remarked looking at the anti possession mark on her hip. Around it were strange words that he thought looked familiar.

"We don't all have our own personal pet angels to give us warding." she smiled at him.

"I like it." Dean grinned and then he was spreading her legs while climbing back onto the bed with her. When he was finally stable Cas threw him off balance again by wrapping her legs around his waist, digging her heels into his ass and pulling him forward. Dean's hard cock slipped into her wetness easily and he groaned in pleasure.

"Oh baby, you're always so wet." he panted thrusting against her.

"Only for you Dean." she replied meeting his every move. Those four little words swept through Dean and he pounded into her harder. He groped and kissed her mercilessly as waves of possession flooded through him.

"Mine, only mine." he growled against her lips while she moaned in pleasure. This was it, this was how it was meant to be between two people. Each thrust met with passion, every breath mingled with groans of pleasure, every sweat slicked inch of skin rubbing against each other. This is what Cassidy had been searching her whole life for. She raked her nails down Dean's muscled back while he pinned her hip with his hand. The other one was tangled in her hair, pulling her face to he side so he could latch on to her pulse point.

"Deeeeeeeeeean…" Cas panted as he pushed as far as physically possible inside of her. It was just a little painful as he hit her end but it was the little sting of pain that pushed her over the edge. Arching her back she screamed his name to the ceiling as her entire body flooded with heat. Dean felt her tightening around him and in seconds he was right there over the edge with her. He threw his own head back yelling so loudly the room echoed with it.

When it was over he collapsed against her fighting to regulate his heartbeat and breathing. Cassidy was so soft underneath him now, planting little kisses along his jaw as she mumbled sweet nothings against his skin. When he was able to move again he slid off, and out, of her but he never severed contact. He pulled her into his body making sure to spoon her. Cas felt every heavy breath against the back of her neck and it was punctuated by soft kisses.

"Mine?" Cassidy asked Dean softly as he pulled the blanket up to cover them.

"You are aren't you?" he asked and she felt the tension in his entire body.

"Not quite yet baby." she said and laughed softly at the way he drew her tighter against him.

"What do I have to do?" he asked her.

"Take me on a real date would be a nice step. Maybe buy me flowers, sing me a song, write me poetry…get my name tattooed across your chest."

"What?!" he let out an explosive breath in disbelief. Cassidy laughed and rolled in his arms.

"I'm kidding Dean. You have me if you want me." she said placing a soft kiss on his pouty lips. He kissed her back with a little more heat before placing his forehead against hers.

"Of course I want you Cassidy. Now and always."


	8. Chapter 8

**8 (another misc meet us)**

Something was troubling Dean as he drove along yet another highway with his brother in the passenger seat of the Impala. It had been about two weeks since he had last seen Cassidy and even though they texted constantly and talked every night there was something nagging at him.

"Whats wrong Dean?" Sam asked as Dean chewed on his lower lip. Only someone who really knew Dean would be able to tell that something was really wrong with him.

"What? Nothing." he replied automatically.

"Come on Dean, there's something up." Sam coaxed him.

"Sammy, have you ever been in a serious relationship without all that fluffy stuff? Like dates and flowers and shit?" he asked. Hell Sam had been in more relationships then Dean, why the hell wouldn't he be able to help.

"What? Uh, no not really." he said. "Unless you count…"

"No, we aren't counting the demon bitch." Dean said harshly.

"Then no. There's always been the fluffy shit." Sam said.

"So you think all girls need it?"

"Is Cassidy giving you grief over not sending her flowers?" Sam asked him grinning widely.

"Shut up Sam." Dean growled.

"No, I don't think girls need it. Some do, some think they do, but some are perfectly content with…whatever it is you're offering Cas."

"Got to admit, I'm not offering her much." Dean said in his self depreciating way.

"Cram it Dean." Sam rolled his eyes. "But a nice gesture could go a long ways."

"I was thinking the same thing. But what? I mean its not like I can send her flowers. What exactly do I tell the delivery guys? Oh look for the cherry red Impala cruising along some interstate probably in the lower 48." Dean grumbled.

"Ask Cas for help." Sam shrugged.

"I can't ask her to help me plan something romantic for her." Dean gave his brother a look.

"Not that Cas, the angel Cas." Sam explained. "You know I've never realized until now how weird that must be for you. When you scream her name during sex does Castiel think he's being prayed to?"

"Oh for christ's sake Sam!" Dean groaned. Sam laughed loudly as Dean turned a lovely shade of red.

"So what did you mean ask for the angels help?" Dean said trying to distract his brother.

"Maybe if he gets a free second he can pop her over some flowers. Couldn't hurt to ask, the guy will level a city if you asked." Sam pointed out.

"Why does everyone think he's in love with me dammit?" Dean grumbled.

"Because we have eyes Dean." Sam replied. Dean chose to ignore all those comments and instead studied the idea of using Castiel to woo Cassidy. But he couldn't right? It wasn't right to ask him to take time out from trying to fix heaven so that he could deliver flowers to Cas was it? The more Dean thought about it the more he liked the idea though.

"Of course I will help Dean." Castiel told Dean once he had thought it over some more and just decided the best way to get answers would be to ask the angel. So he had prayed, waited for Cas to show and then presented his case.

"You will?" Dean was surprised and Sam just as much. He might have suggested it but he wasn't entirely certain that the angel wanted to help Dean advance his relationship with the female hunter.

"Yes. I desire only to see you happy and Cassidy seems to be accomplishing that." Cas said. "What do you require of me?"

"Uh, well…I hadn't thought that far ahead." Dean admitted as he rubbed the back of his neck and paced around the car.

"Flowers?" Sam suggested from where he leaned against the trunk.

"Isn't that a little…tacky?" Dean asked. God, he really was lost here.

"She seems to like blades." Cas suggested.

"You can't give a girl a knife as a romantic gift Cas." Dean sighed.

"Then what do you suggest?" Cas asked the man.

"Jewelry?" Dean asked but Sam shook his head.

"Have you ever seen her wear any?" he asked and Dean shook his head this time.

"Dammit!" Dean growled out kicking at the dirt at his feet.

"How about something for her vehicle? She seems quite attached to it." Castiel suggested and Dean's head came up quickly.

"That's a great idea Cas!" he said patting the angel on the shoulder.

"But what? A spare tire doesn't exactly scream romance." Sam piped up.

"No, but this does." he said pushing Sam off of the trunk and opening it. He pulled up the false bottom of the trunk and pulled out a small bag.

"A hex bag?" Castiel asked confused.

"No, no hexes. This is a protection bag Benny had a voodoo man make up in Louisiana. It protects the car from harm." he explained tossing the bag into the air and catching it.

"You have a protection spell on your car?" Sam asked him smiling.

"What? Like I wouldn't try to protect my baby?" Dean looked at him like he was stupid.

"Its an excellent gift Dean, should I deliver it to Cassidy now?" Cas asked.

"Uh sure, just let me write a note explaining what it does." Dean said reaching into the Impala to pull out a paper and pen. He quickly jotted a note telling Cassidy where to put the bag and what exactly it did so that she wouldn't think he was trying to hex her. He handed both items to Cas who immediately disappeared.

"Think she'll like it?" Dean asked Sam nervously.

"Yes Dean, she'll like it." Sam smiled.

Cassidy liked the gift so much that she u-turned in the highway and hauled ass back to Dean. Castiel had told her where the brothers were headed and she surprised them both by greeting them at the diner they were having a late lunch in. She slid into the booth next to Dean, grabbed him by the collar and kissed him senseless. Even the mouthful of burger didn't deter her. Afriel greeted Sam and the two of them tried to look anywhere but the couple making out in front of them.

"Thank you." she said to a glassy eyed Dean as she stopped this kisses.

"Buh…" he replied.

"For the bag. I love it." she grinned wiping some of her lipstick off of his lip.

"Good." he grinned still a little unfocused.

"And using Castiel to deliver it? Genius!" she raved and Sam smiled largely.

"I uh…I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you that's all." Dean blushed.

"Thank you Dean." Cas said sincerely and placed another kiss on him. This one was soft and sweet.

"We're getting ready to stop for the night if you guys want to join us." Sam said interrupting the kissing.

"Yeah, we can do that." Cas said not even looking away from Dean. Sam rolled his eyes and stood up.

"Come on Af, lets go get some rooms." he said and led the angel away.

Sam had surprised them with getting two separate rooms and coming back to hand them their own set of keys.

"I don't want to have to listen to it again." he said in explanation when they gave him an questioning look.

"I'll take Afriel with me, you two go about your business." he said and led the kid away. Afriel waved over his shoulder to Cassidy and she waved back. Dean led her to their room and after some intense sex they lay in bed relaxing in the after glow.

"Where are you from Cas? I still don't know." Dean asked her in a hushed voice.

"I guess we should talk, I mean we are dating." Cas said but Dean heard the hesitation in her voice.

"If you don't want to talk that's fine baby." he said running his fingers along her pale skin.

"No, its fine." she said but it was anything but fine. She braced herself and started telling Dean all about the misery that was her childhood.

"I don't know where I was born." she admitted and Dean glanced down to see that she had her head practically buried against his chest.

"My parents were killed when I was just a baby. And the vampire that killed them took me and raised me."

"Oh god Cas." Dean said in disbelief.

"It wasn't as bad as you would think, he was nice some times. But most of the time he treated me like a pet more then a kid. One of my first memories in him buying me a bright pink mouse so that I could have something to play with. I think it was a cat toy." she admitted. "I loved that mouse." she sighed.

"Cassidy…" Dean's heart was breaking for the girl who never knew the embrace of a parent. His mother may have died when he was young but he at least had memories of her holding him and singing to him.

"When I was seven he decided I needed to be around more people. So he joined a nest in New Mexico, one with about a dozen vampires of all ages. They doted on me more then Henry ever did and for the first time I was shown love. Or at least what they were calling love. I was spoiled with clothes, toys, dolls. I even started to be taught. One older vampire named Louise started to teach me to read and write. Henry still made sure it was known I was his though and I had to sleep with him every day."

"Sleep with him?" Dean growled out.

"Nothing like that, not when I was that young." she said and Dean closed his eyes at the tone in her voice. It was like she was reciting a shopping list not talking about her own childhood.

"When I was 12 I started my period, you can guess how that affected the vampires." she almost whispered. "Suddenly I wasn't just a cute pet, I was a potential meal. Henry had to beat down a few of the more eager males but once I turned 14 he just gave up. That's where the scars come from."

"Stop, Cas." Dean said and pulled her up his chest look at him. There was a dead look to her eyes and Dean regretted ever asking her about any of this.

"No, I need to get it out Dean. And you need to know." she told him. So he gave her a gentle kiss on her temple and let her continue.

"My first time I was confused, not sure what they were doing or why. But it wasn't long before I was enjoying what they were doing, that's the sick part. It made me feel more loved them ever before. They'd tell me I was beautiful, that I was special. So I began to look forward to the feedings…and the sex." she explained. "That lasted for a year before a hunter came and killed the nest. And found me."

"At 15?" Dean asked and she nodded.

"He brought me to a group home for hunter kids and I went through training. There was an older kid there that kind of…well he knew I had been abused. We started fooling around and got caught one day. After that the woman running the home put me in therapy."

"Did it help?" Dean asked. He always wondered if therapy actually helped when it came to monsters.

"A little, I mean I couldn't out and out tell them everything that had happened but she knew I had been abused. She managed to convince me that what had happened was wrong but in the process she convinced me that I had been wrong to enjoy it. It took me many many years to overcome that." she said.

"I'm so sorry Cassidy." Dean said holding her close.

"That's why I take the kids cases Dean, I don't want any of them to go through what I went through. Most of the time I can save the kids, get them home to their moms and dad's. But those that I can't save…" her voice broke and Dean held her as she sobbed against him.

"Its ok baby, I'm here." he soothed her as she cried. "You're amazing Cas, stronger then I ever knew."

"The worst part is I have no idea what my real name is Dean, no idea who my parents are, were I'm really from. I don't have a birthday, I don't even know how old I am. I don't know _who_ I am." she said in between sobs.

"You are strong, you are smart, you are kind, you are everything those monsters tried to take away from you." Dean said strongly "And you are mine."

"Thank you Dean." Cas sighed as her tears tapered off and she started to feel bone tired. Dean wrapped her closer to him and let her fall asleep against him while he stared at the ceiling trying to come to terms with all he had heard.

"I mean it Sammy, it has to stay between you and me." Dean warned his little brother yet again as he paced behind Sam in the bunker's library. Sam was on his computer doing the research Dean had asked of him and he threw a bitch face over his shoulder.

"Dean, quit it. Sit down before you wear a hole through the floor." he grumbled.

"Sorry." Dean plunked down in the seat next to Sam.

"So I guess Cas had no idea you're doing this then." Sam asked while looking through websites for the information his brother wanted.

"No, I don't want to get her hopes up. I mean she's probably tried looking before herself but with no info to go on…" Dean trailed off shrugging his shoulders.

"I can tell you now that it may take me a while, even if I ever do find anything." Sam told his brother so he wouldn't expect immediate results.

"I don't care if it takes years Sam, I need to find something to give her." Dean told his brother honestly.

"Ok Dean." Sam gave him his sympathetic smile and went back to the computer.


	9. Chapter 9

**9 (6 months later)**

"Is there anything else Dean?" Castiel asked the hunter who was nervously fixing his hair in the car mirror.

"Uh…no I don't think so Cas, thanks." he said to the angel in his backseat.

They were at the entrance of a wooded park where Dean had anxiously prayed to Castiel for help. The Impala sat sparkling and clean in the parking lot and Dean himself was cleaned up real nice waiting for Cassidy to pull in. Cas had helped him set up a little picnic area near the small pond in the park so that he could officially bring Cassidy on their first date. Even though they had been seeing each other for a while now he felt it was the right time to set this up. He eyed the folder in the passenger seat nervously.

"She will be here in ten minutes." Castiel told Dean with a far away look in his eyes.

"Great." Dean smiled. He got out of the car and straightened up his jacket. He kind of thought about going all out with a nice dinner in a restaurant and nice clothes but Cas wasn't really that kind of girl. As much as he'd love to see her in a dress she seemed much more inclined to a nice picnic in the park.

"You seem nervous Dean." Castiel remarked joining the hunter.

"I am man." Dean agreed.

"Surely you've done this before?" he asked.

"What? Dates? Uh yeah, I've had a few. But this is different."

"Because you love Cassidy." Cas stated in his flat voice and Dean's head shot around to look at him wide eyed.

"I…uh…" he mumbled.

"There is no shame in it Dean. She is a very suitable mate for you." Cas tried to comfort Dean having no idea of the mess he had created in the man's head.

"Dammit Cas!" Dean's breath exploded out.

"She is coming." Cas's head turned away from him and looked up the road where there was a faint rumble of a car engine. They watched the cherry red Impala pull into the lot and with a rustle of feathers Castiel was off leaving them alone.

"Hey baby." Dean stepped up to Cassidy as she stepped out of her car. Her long black hair was flowing free around her today and Dean slid his hands into it. He loved the feeling of the silken strands between his fingers. She slid her hand up his chest and around his neck pulling him to her for a kiss.

"You aren't taking me hiking are you?" she asked eyeing the pack Dean had around his shoulder.

"God no." he said with a sneer. Who the held walked through the woods for fun?

"Good, cause I didn't wear the right footwear for that." she laughed lightly.

"Come with me." Dean took her hand and they walked along the trail to the blanket he had Cas get for him.

"Awww Dean, you set me up a picnic." she smiled warmly at him.

"You like it?" he asked nervously. He waited until she sat down and patted the blanket beside her before he joined her.

"Of course. Much better then spending a fortune on a meal in a dimly lit restaurant and then paying an arm and a leg to go see a movie. This is great Dean." she leaned back on her elbows and let the sun bath her skin.

"Where's the angel?" Dean asked her opening his bag to take out a light lunch.

"He's signed in to angel radio, picking up on all the news he missed." she smiled. Afriel had finally gotten his grace back but to her surprise instead of flying off to heaven straight away he had decided to stay on earth and ease his way home.

"Has he given any sign of wanting to leave?" Dean asked her.

"None. I don't know if he trusts it up there any more." she admitted. She took the soda Dean offered her and sat up.

"So why the date Dean?" she asked.

"Because its what couples do?" he asked weakly. To be honest he didn't really know why he wanted to go through all this just to take Cas out.

"You're pretending we're a normal couple." she smiled at him.

"It might be nice don't you think?"

"No, I don't. I like what we have. It works for us." she shrugged.

"You don't dream about the big house, nice cars, 2.3 kid running around going to soccer or band practice?" he asked her.

"Nope, never have. Not for me." she replied honestly. Dean felt a little tug in his heart at that. The idea of Cas being a mom was nice but she didn't want it. Or didn't think she could have it.

"I think you're the only woman alive who doesn't want that." Dean nudged her with his shoulder to break the mood. She blushed slightly and smiled.

"I'm a hunter Dean, and hunters don't have the luxury of normal. And why would we want it? We save people." she replied.

"I agree, its the price we pay." Dean wrapped his arm around her shoulder and rested his cheek against her hair.

They watched as the sun began to set over pond, the shimmering rays blinding against the water at times. They shared their light lunch, exchanging funny hunting stories and by the time the sun was disappearing under the horizon they were huddled together under another blanket. They were kissing softly, exploring each other's mouths and just enjoying the company. There was no rushing today, no need to scratch their itches before someone or something dragged them away. It was perfect. So when Dean pulled back to look deeply into Cassidy's large blue eyes he felt the words on his tongue before he even thought about them.

"I love you Cassidy." he said honestly to the girl in his arms. Cassidy's eyes welled up with tears and Dean thought for a second he had said something wrong.

"I love you too Dean." she replied flinging herself into his arms and kissing him stronger. "You're everything I thought I didn't need, everything I had stopped hoping for, everything I thought I didn't deserve. I love you Dean Winchester, so much that it scares me."

"Don't cry baby, I didn't want to see you cry." he begged wiping away her tears but she shook her head.

"Its happiness Dean, tears of happiness are ok." she told him.

"No tears are ok from you Cas." he said smiling softly. He held her against him while she dried her eyes in his shirt. By the time she was done she shivered against him.

"Maybe we should head back to the motel?" she asked giving him a heated look. Dean's body responded instantly and he kissed her, diving his tongue into her mouth and grabbing the back of her head to hold her close.

"Too far." Dean murmured against her lips and she chuckled.

"My car?" she suggested.

"Mine?" he grinned at her wickedly.

"I'm pretty sure your backseat has seen more action then mine." she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well Sam has…" he replied with a smile and Cas laughed."Cherry is still a virgin." she said and that was it, Dean threw off the blanket and grabbed her hand. He quickly picked up his bag, she grabbed the blankets, and then they were racing and laughing the entire way towards her car.

Cas unlocked Cherry and Dean followed her quickly inside the back seat before pinning her against the window with a kiss. Her hands were quickly throwing his jacket off his shoulders while he pulled her down to the seat. Hands were everywhere, followed by clothes being thrown all over the car but in minutes they were thankfully undressed enough so that Cas could slide down onto Dean's lap. His cock slid home inside of her and she rode him, moaning his name the entire time. The windows steamed quickly and Cas took a quick second to be glad she had replaced the squeaky springs recently.

"Baby, you feel so fucking good." Dean moaned out as he held her hips firm in his grip. Every little move of her hips was sending him to paradise and he knew he wouldn't last long.

"I love you Dean." she panted as she felt her own orgasm rushing close.

"I love you too." he replied pulling her in for a kiss. The combination of his thrusts and his tongue sent her over the edge and she shuddered against him. Crying out loudly she planted her nails into his shoulder muscles and tried not to slam her head against the car roof. Dean came in a rush, his voice being lost in her mouth and he held her close as he released all his seed inside of her.

"I never get tired of that." Cassidy panted against Dean's neck as they both came down from their high. Dean was rubbing her back and catching his breath.

"It just keeps getting better." he agreed. He was swimming in happiness, so entirely satisfied with every aspect of his life at the moment that he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.

As they sat in the backseat of Cassidy's car snuggling and talking Dean remembered the folder that sat in his backpack in the front seat. He reached over and grew nervous as he handed it to Cas.

"Whats this?" she asked taking it and opening it curiously.

"I, uh, I had Sammy do some research for me. Between the two of us we managed to get this." Dean explained.

"This…" she looked at the first page and her voice dried up on her tongue.

"We've narrowed it down to these three cases. We think one of them is your parents." he explained. Cas was slowly flipping through the pages, her eyes starting to tear up. These people could be her parents, these families her family. After all this time did she really have a chance to find the truth?

"Dean…" she said throwing herself into his arms and sobbing against him. She clung to him, trying to deal with the swell of emotions that was trying to drown her.

"I can go with you if you want, we can see if any of them are the ones." he offered stroking her hair and holding her close. He could only imagine how she must be feeling.

She just nodded against his chest not able to speak yet.

"Whenever you're ready you tell me. I'll be here." he assured her.

"Some of them have families still living, they could be my aunts or uncles." she sobbed against him again.

"I know baby." he whispered. He let her cry herself out in the back of her car and held her close. When she finally stopped she looked up into his eyes gratefully.

"Thank you Dean, this means so much to me." she kissed him gently. She looked back in the folder and picked up the pictures that they had found. All of them involved a baby girl with black hair and blue eyes going missing after the murder of her parents. For the first time in her life Cassidy felt like she might actually get some answers.

"If you're busy Castiel, you don't need to do this." Cassidy said for the hundredth time as Dean and Sam put on their FBI suits in the bunker. She had her own suit on, a deep blue pant suit, with her hair pulled back into a bun on her head. Cas was in his usual trench suit and he seemed to be stiffer then usual.

"I told you Cassidy, I'm glad to help in any way I can." he gave her his version on a reassuring smile.

"But I mean, there has to be something you could be doing besides flying us from one side of the country to the other like some angelic taxi service." she argued. She was nervous, so very nervous and she couldn't stop herself from reaching up to play with s small silver chain on her neck. Dean had given it to her one weekend while they had been on opposite coasts. The pure silver glinted against her skin. There had been a charm on it but she had removed it in fear of a monster ripping it from her.

"I rather enjoy the outings with the Winchesters, it makes me feel helpful." he said.

"Thank you again Cas." she smiled and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek.

"Hands off my girl." Dean grumbled jokingly straightening his tie.

"Which one?" Sam remarked and Castiel tilted his head in curious way.

"I am not a girl." he said and everyone let out a laugh.

Soon everyone was ready to go and Cassidy took a deep breath trying to prepare herself for this. Beside her Dean took a deep breath a well but he was preparing himself for the quick flight. He still hated angel airways.

"Everyone ready?" Sam asked looking between the two of them. They both nodded and Cas brought them all outside a police station in Arizona. The heat was on and all three of the hunters began to sweat in their suits.

"Are you absolutely sure you can do this?" Sam asked Cassidy as she straightened her jacket.

"No, but I've got to at least try." she told him honestly. He gave her an understanding nod before heading towards the station. Dean grabbed her elbow before she could follow and drew her in for a quick kiss.

"If at any point you want to stop, want to leave, you tell me. Sam can handle this." he told her while she brushed her lipstick off his lip with a wet finger and smiled at him warmly.

"I love you." she said truthfully.

"You too baby." he grinned. They pulled away from each other and trotted after Sam. Castiel had wandered away to a nearby park where he would wait for them.

"Hello Sheriff, I'm Agent Stilles, these are my partners Agent Brady and Agent Mockery, we've been looking into some cold cases from the area and hoped you might be able to answer some questions for us." Sam introduced them all, badges flashed all around, and the local Sheriff got right to being as useful as he could be. He had been the one on the case they were investigating and was able to answer all their questions.

The case had been nagging at him ever since he was a rookie on the force. The young parents had been new to town and it was a damn shame what had happened to them. Unfortunately there wasn't much else they could learn from him, they needed to get the name of the next of kins and try there. So Cas took them to house after house, witness and next of kins until they had exhausted their resources. Cassidy tried to stay upbeat but when they had found the very last person on the last case and eliminated the baby girl as her she seemed to deflate.

"Take us home Cas." Dean asked the angel drawing Cassidy into his side and holding her. Sam looked at her with sympathy and she turned away from his puppy eyes. When they were back in the bunker she quietly excused herself to change and shower. They were all tired from the changes in time zones.

"She's stronger then she appears." Cas said to Dean as they watched her walk away trying to gather her strength again.

"I know Cas, I know." Dean agreed.

"I have an idea to try." Sam said taking off his suit jacket and rolling up his sleeves.

"Yeah?" Dean asked.

"We've been focusing on the humans involved but maybe we should be focusing on the vampires." he suggested.

"But Cas said that the entire nest was wiped out by the hunters that saved her." Dean explained.

"Just see if you can get me the name of the hunter and I'll try to follow the trail backwards. We may luck out." Sam shrugged.

"I'll see if she remembers." Dean assured him and with a quick goodbye to them he followed Cassidy to the shower.

She was already naked and wet when Dean got there so he quietly slipped in behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she let herself be pulled back into his arms.

"I'm sorry baby." Dean whispered into her ear and she nodded.

"Its not your fault Dean. It was a long time ago, there isn't much of a chance that we'd just stumble onto the right family." she sighed. To be honest she was kind of tired of the whole thing, she had been much happier when she didn't have hope of finding out her history.

"Do you want to give up?" Dean asked grabbing the soap and taking the puff from her hand. He lathered it up and started to massage the soap into her skin.

"Maybe take a break. It might be nice to get back to hunting." she sighed as the hot water, soap and Dean's nimble fingers began to relax her.

"So eager to leave me?" Dean teased lowering his hands down her flat stomach. She let her head fall back against his shoulder.

"Never." she sighed. Dean's fingers dropped the puff and just trailed over her body, his rough calluses a sharp contrast to her soft skin. He could feel the ridges of the scars on her thighs and he paused. He moved her so that she was facing him, the hot water cascading down over her breasts and dripping from her nipples. He kissed her hotly, his tongue sweeping inside her mouth and her arms wound around his neck. He kissed, licked, nibbled and bit his way down her body while her moans of pleasure echoed in the shower space. Once he was kneeling in front of her he paid each and every one of her scars special attention with those pouty lips of his.

"Dean…" Cassidy pleaded with her hands tugging at his wet hair. He smiled against her skin before diving his tongue between her legs. Cas let out a gasp of surprise followed by a deep groan. He ravished her with his tongue, using his hands to move her legs further apart. The hands in his hair were pulling mercilessly and he loved it. He loved seeing Cas get lost in the moment, to be so overwhelmed with passion that she forgot not to hurt. Each deep pull on his hair reminded him about how much she was enjoying his every touch.

"Dean, I'm…Oh god…" Cassidy moaned loudly and threw her head back into the stream of water. Her voice bounced off the tiling filled his ears and made him moan against her. Her taste flooded his mouth and coated his tongue. He lapped in down eagerly. It wasn't until she was was mewling and pushing away and that he stopped.

"God, your taste is addictive." Dean moaned kissing her deeply. She wrapped her arms around him and the water cascaded over both of their faces. Thank god for the extra large water tanks in the bunker.

"Maybe we'd better take this back to our room before we get wrinkly." Cassidy grinned as they drew apart. Dean gave her ass a small slap which made her squeal and jump from the shower. She grabbed the towels on the hooks, leaving Dean with none, and ran laughing through the bunker halls.

"Dammit Cas!" he yelled giving chase and hoping Sam wouldn't be out and about to see him stark naked and dripping wet running through the bunker. She laughed even harder and he ran after her grinning. Brother be damned, he loved the sound of her laughter. His heavy footfalls stopped at his bedroom door and he looked inside to see a naked Cassidy laying in his bed giving him a smouldering devilish grin.

"Dean…why are you naked?" Sam's voice came from the hall but Dean ignored him, stepped inside and slammed the door.


	10. Chapter 10

**10 (another six months)**

"Finally!" Sam snapped at his computer which made Dean turn around and look at him quickly.

"What?" he asked him. His brother wasn't too far from his computer these days, between researching cases, cataloguing even more artifacts, searching for more baby abduction cases and trading emails with other hunters. But he let out a sigh of relief and looked up at Dean.

"I've found the only vampire left alive who might know what happened with Cassidy." he grinned. Dean dropped the book he had in his hands and went around to look at what Sammy had.

"There was one member of the nest that wasn't there the night of the hunt. She went underground and only just came out again. This hunter in Utah has her locked up for me." he explained.

"That's amazing Sam." Dean congratulated his brother with a pat on the back.

"Thanks Dean." he took the compliment.

"So you get Cas the girl and I'll get Cas the angel." Sam said standing up.

"Nope, no way Sammy." Dean shook his head.

"What?" Sam asked confused.

"I'm not bringing her in on this until we have all the answers. It damn near broke her before and I'm not doing that to her again." he said.

"Ok, fine. How do you want to do this?"

"We'll go and interrogate this vamp. We follow all leads until they give us answers or they go nowhere. I won't tell Cas until I have her real name." he said. He grabbed his jacket, his already packed duffle and the keys to baby.

"We're not going to get the angel?" Sam asked grabbing his stuff as well.

"Lets keep Cas out of this for now. He has more important stuff to worry about." Dean replied as they left the bunker.

"This is it Sammy, what we've been looking for." Dean let out a shaky breath. The vampire had paid out in gold and Dean and Sam were now looking at the case file for Cassidy's birth parents. It contained a grainy picture of a crime scene but it was only on the info of the vampire that he had known it was actually her parents. Henry, her abductor, had scrubbed her from existence, no one police report as made on her being missing and no one had looked for her. His arrogance had made him confide in one vampire and they lucked out for once on it being the one they had.

"Yeah." Sam said looking at the pictures. "I can't believe one vampire was able to wipe a baby from all those minds."

"He was a bastard that's for sure." Dean agreed. He closed his own folder and sat back in the grubby motel chair.

"Its time." Sam said doing the same.

"I know." Dean agreed. Letting out a heavy breath he prayed to his angel.

"Hello Dean, Sam." Castiel said after a rustling of wings.

"Hey Cas, hows heaven?" Sam asked.

"Its…disorganized." Cas replied.

"I got a favour to ask you buddy, can you go get Cassidy and bring her here?" Dean asked his friend.

"You have found the answers you have been seeking?" Cas asked looking at the folders on the table.

"Yup, we got her." Dean nodded. Even the angel looked relieved.

"I will return immediately." he said and disappeared. In seconds he was back with Cassidy and Afriel in tow. The young angel was still with Cassidy, reluctant to leave the only human he had ever loved. He was back at his full power and able to help her with her hunting, but Cas was holding her breath for the day he would say he was returning to heaven.

"Uh, hi guys." Cassidy said leaning down to kiss Dean. She was so confused, in the middle of getting ready for bed in another state when Cas had popped in, demanded they go with him and bringing them here to the Winchesters.

"Can we have some privacy guys?" Dean asked his brother and the angels. Sam nodded and grabbed Baby's keys.

"Come on featherheads, lets go and see if we can win some pool money." he said leading the angels out the door.

"Whats going on Dean?" Cas asked looking at her boyfriend with worry.

"Sit Cas, I've got something for you." Dean said and reluctantly Cas sat.

"You're either breaking up with me or proposing…I'm not sure which one is scarier." Cas said with a teasing smile that didn't quite reach her blue eyes.

"What? No, god no, neither of those." Dean said a little shocked.

"Then what?" she asked. In her confusion she hadn't noticed any of the papers on the table.

"We found you Cassidy." Dean said pushing the folder across the table towards her.

"You what?" She asked. She opened the folder, took one look at the papers and then back at Dean.

"You mean…?" she shakily leafed through the papers, her face actually paling at the crime scene pictures.

"Your real name is Isabella Jones, you were born on April 15th 1980 to David and Melissa Jones in Ouray, Colorado. David and Melissa were both only children but you were not. You have a brother Cas, a twin brother." Dean told her. Cassidy was shaking all over now, the papers in her hands were trembling so Dean reached out and took them from her. He wrapped his hands around hers to let her know he was there for her.

"A brother?" she asked her voice weak with emotion.

"Isaiah. He was left at the scene and put into foster care. His name is Paul Harrow now. He lives on Long Island with his wife and two kids." he went on.

"I…I'm someone's Aunt." she breathed out. Tears were freely falling down her face and Dean's heart constricted. He got off his chair and went to kneel in front of her.

"Its a lot to take in baby, I know." he said turning her face so that she would look at him.

"Why didn't they look for me? They had to know we were twins?" she burst out between breaths.

"The vamp who took you made it so that no one remembered you. They thought it was only Isaiah." Dean explained.

"How the hell could he do something like that?" she asked as her eyes were staring at the floor unfocused. She was in shock.

"I have no idea, I didn't think anyone but an Alpha could pull something like that off." Dean said. Neither of them spoke again for a long time, Cas continued to cry while Dean continued to rub his fingers across her knuckles. His heart was constricting in his chest as he watched the tears flow. He had been to hell and back, fought in Purgatory for a year and ran from heaven but watching the woman he loved cry over the life that as stolen from her made him break. He wished he could get that vampire back just so he could kill him again, multiple times in many different ways. He hated Alistair with a passion but he would gladly use all the tricks the demon had taught him about torture on that one fanged bastard.

After what seemed like hours, but was probably closer to fifteen minutes, Cassidy sniffed back her tears and looked at Dean.

"Thank you Dean. Thank you for everything." she said smiling at him weakly. She was exhausted, mentally and emotionally wiped, so when she leaned down to kiss him there was no passion to it, no heat. She just needed comfort. Dean understood that all too well, so he tugged her up, walked to the bed, laid her down and spooned behind her. He held her against him, trying to give her his body heat and comfort.

"She isn't ready." Dean argued with Castiel in whispered tones just three days later in the bunker. Cassidy had finished her hunt and returned to the bunker still looking tired. Afriel hovered around her anxiously, often casting worried looks to his angel brethren. Dean had to agree with the angels, Cassidy was having a harder time with this then he thought. Maybe he shouldn't have dug into her past.

"She wishes to see her brother and right now that is what I am doing for her." Castiel argued. It wasn't often the angel disagreed with the oldest Winchester but on this he would not budge.

"She can't even look any of us in the eye Cas, how the hell will she talk to a brother she didn't even know she had?" Dean asked him.

"I don't know Dean." Cas sighed. Cassidy had come to him a few minutes ago asking him to take her to her brother's place on Long Island. He agreed of course but now Dean was trying to talk him out of it. But he knew if he didn't she would ask Afriel and that angel would walk through hell and back if Cassidy asked him to.

"Just…just watch out for her ok? And bring her back here if there are any signs of her freaking out." Dean gave in. He had no right to ask the angel to disobey the wishes of his girlfriend, especially not when it came to her family, but he didn't care. She was hurting and he hated it.

"Of course Dean." Cas said giving him an awkward pat on his shoulder. Cassidy came back into the room and she still looked so small, so fragile.

"Ready Cas?" she asked him and he nodded and straightened his jacket.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Dean asked her.

"I'm sure Dean, thank you though. I think this is something I need to do on my own." she said giving him a quick kiss. She gave Sam a small wave before she left with Castiel in a ruffle of wings.

They landed in a park across the road from some row houses. It was typical Americana and Cassidy felt a tremor of jealousy surge through her. Why did he get to have the nice house? She scolded herself for the thoughts.

"Stay with me Castiel?" she asked the angel.

"If you wish Cassidy." Cas said. She led them over to a park bench where she watched the house where her twin brother lived his life.

"Are you going to speak with him?" Castiel asked her.

"I don't know." she responded honestly.

"I mean he doesn't even know I exist. He never knew. He's got a good life, was adopted by good parents. Went to good school and met a good woman. Why should I ruin that?" she asked.

"Because you are his family." Castiel responded.

"No Cas, I'm his blood. And as a wise man was fond of saying family don't end in blood. I have no relation to that man any more then I do that man selling hot dogs in the park." she sighed.

"It is not his fault that you were taken from him." Cas said gently. He didn't understand much of humanity, he knew that, even after being human himself for a while. But he knew family.

Cassidy opened her mouth to reply when the door to the house opened. Her breath caught in her throat and she sat up straight as the man who was her brother came outside carrying a small child in his arms. He had her colouring, pale with black hair and even from this distance she knew he had the same blue eyes. The kid he had in his arms as an even smaller version, a girl with little black pigtails wiggling with the motion of her father walking. She wore a light blue dress and was smiling up at her Dad happily. Cassidy's heart skipped a beat.

"My niece." she breathed out and Castiel nodded.

"Bella, I believe Dean said her name was." he told her. Behind Isiah came a blonde woman rushing a little blonde boy out the door. His wife and oldest child Zane.

"Come on Zane, we'll be late for church." came a deep baritone voice from Isaiah, who called Paul now. He placed the little girl inside of their car before standing back and giving his wife a quick kiss as she rushed her way around the car to place the boy in his seat. She smiled at him warmly. The same way Dean looked at her Cassidy recalled.

"They're going to church." Castiel said almost proudly. He might be in disagreement with heaven but he was still an angel of the lord who took pride in his father's work. Cassidy nodded before sitting back. They watched as the family pulled out of the driveway and headed off. Cassidy didn't know what to say, what to think. They had no idea what kind of world was really out there, the monsters that stalked the night or the demons that preyed on all souls. But they also didn't know about the angels who fought to both destroy and save them. Cassidy reached over to take Castiel's hand and laid her head against his shoulder.

"Thank you Castiel." she said.

"I have done nothing." he said a little confused by her actions.

"You've been a good friend, to both me and Dean and I just wanted to say thank you." she smiled up at him. He gave her a small nod still not completely understanding her. But that was ok because right now all she wanted was to hold his hand and take comfort in his presence.

"Are you ok?" Dean asked later that night when they lay in bed. It was dark outside the bunker when Cassidy had returned and she had told Dean she just wanted to go to bed. Everyone was worried about her, casting Dean questioning looks but he ignored them all and followed her to their room. And it was truly theirs now instead of just his. Cassidy had hung a few pictures around, added some color with pillows and a new blanket on the bed. She added a blade or two to Dean's collection and had even painted the walls a deep tone of turquoise that Dean had to admit he didn't hate.

Now they lay together in the warm bed just being together, Dean had his arm wrapped around her shoulder and she was running her hand up and down his chest. She always seemed to want to touch him, even if it wasn't in a sexual manner.

"Yes." she replied. She looked up into his emerald gaze and smiled. "I really am."

"Are you sure? You don't want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Nothing to talk about. I saw him, I saw his family. I decided I didn't need to be a part of it. I have my own family here." she replied honestly. "I'm glad to know my past, to know he's out there, but I'm fine with what I have. I have you, I have Sam and the angels. That's more then enough family for me."

"You are one truly amazing woman you know that?" Dean squeezed her against him.

"I hope so, I tamed a Winchester." she smirked up at him.

"Tamed? No one can tame me woman." he joked and she laughed.

"I think I've done a pretty good job." she stuck her tongue out at him and he chuckled.

"That you have baby." he leaned down to kiss her softly. "You might still have some work to do though."

"Oh lots, and I plan on sticking around until its all done." she whispered against his lips.

"It might take a while, years maybe?" he looked over his nose at her.

"Maybe the rest of my life." she agreed.

"I like that sound of that." Dean admitted.


	11. Chapter 11

**11 (Demon Dean)**

"I can't believe that idiot!" Cassidy stormed about the bunker as Sam sat watching her.

"I knew he shouldn't have taken the mark, I knew he couldn't fight that side of himself. Hell none of us can, that's why we're hunters." she continued. "Why the hell didn't he talk to me?"

"You know Dean, he thinks he can handle every thing on his own." Sam said. In truth it was nice to hear all his thoughts about his brother being expressed by someone other then him. Dean thought that Sammy wasn't strong enough to protect himself but hearing Cassidy rage about his idiocy made him realize he didn't think anyone was strong enough to look out for themselves but him.

"Where the hell did he go? And where the hell is Crowley? I swear when I get my hands on that sulphur reeking bastard I'll make him wish he'd died in the bogs he slunk out of. And Rowena, she's better pray to whatever god she prays to that I don't find her before I fix Dean." she continued on her rant. Finally running out of breath she slumped down in the chair across from Sam where he offered her a beer.

"Your brother is a raging wanker." she said taking the beer and drinking it quickly.

"I know." Sam smiled.

"I don't know how the hell you two are related." she said looking at him. Sam let out a little chuckle.

"Me either some times." he admitted.

"Where's Cas, shouldn't he be here helping us?" she asked looking around for the angel. As usual he was MIA with her angel by his side. Afriel had gotten his powers back and had offered himself in service to Castiel. She was kind of worried about the little angel, he wasn't a soldier of God like Cas was.

"He's trying to track him, and Crowley the newest BFF." Sam sighed. He tilted his head back to look at the towering ceiling of the bunker.

"I'm sorry Sam, I can't imagine how you must be feeling." Cas said in a more empathetic tone of voice.

"I'm just tired of it all Cas. Its one thing after another with us isn't it. And here you are trying to keep up." he sighed.

"Hey, I chose to get in this mess. And I'm here to help fix it. We'll find him Sam, and we'll bring him home." she tried to reassure the younger Winchester.

"Thanks Cas." Sam smiled at her tired already. Right now out there in the world Dean was a demon and he was terrorizing humanity. With Crowley for Christ's sake.

"HE WHAT?!" Cassidy voice in a pitch that Sam didn't even think her tiny little body was capable of reaching.

"Cassidy…" Sam said trying to calm her down. The desk at a cheap motel isn't where she should be going off right now.

"Sorry to tell you Sam but I'm going to skin your brother alive. He'll think what they did in hell was a joy ride when I'm done with him." she said and the desk clerk's eyebrows shot to his hair line.

"Come on Sammy, we've got a funeral to plan! And it'll be a closed casket!" she ranted and shoved her way out the door.

"Uh, thanks." Sam said to the clerk giving him a $20 for having to watch Cas freak out. He jogged out to catch her where she was still swearing next to her car.

"I can't believe that miserable bastard." she said but she wouldn't look up at Sam. He knew she was hurt, demon or not Dean had crossed that line.

"He's not himself Cassidy, you know he'd never go that if he was." Sam tried to reassure her stepping up to put his arm around her.

"He's enough himself to not slaughter people just for kicks Sam. But not enough himself to stop from dragging some floozy back to his room for a good time." she started to cry and he pulled her into his arms to let it out. She shook against him and it made him angrier then Dean had done before.

"We'll get him Cas, and we'll fix him." he rubbed her back while she cried. He heard feathers ruffling and then the angels were there in front of them.

"Cassidy…" Afriel said taking his human in his arms and even though he was still in his young vessel he was able to tuck her head in under his chin. With a slight ringing and, with no warning to Sam, Afriel began to glow as he leaked out of his vessel. Sam turned away quickly but Castiel watched as the other angel wrapped his wings around Cassidy in comfort. The beautiful white feathers were thick and cloaked them against the outside world.

"He was with another woman in that motel." Sam explained to Castiel who was looking uncomfortably at the crying woman. His eyes flooded with understanding and then anger.

"How long?" he asked Sam.

"Two days ago. Him and Crowley. Why is the King of Hell letting Dean pick these cheap motels. Why not put up in a swanky hotel or why stay anywhere? They don't need sleep, they don't need to be here." Sam asked him. He slapped his hand against the top of Cas's car in frustration.

"I think he's too accustomed to being human, he will take time to shake his human habits." Cas speculated.

"Wait, that's perfect. We can use that against him." Sam said finally seeing a positive to Dean's behaviour. "No one in this world knows Dean better then Cas and me. If he's still following his old patterns then we can use that to track him, capture him. Get him back to the bunker where we can cure him." Sam was practically bouncing with excitement now. This was the best news they had received in days. Now they had something to plan with.

Cassidy was pacing outside of the dungeon when Sam came out. He looked tired but he gave her a small smile of encouragement.

"Is it working?" she asked.

"Seems to be. Now we just have to wait until the next dose." he told her. He walked to the kitchen to get some coffee and found that Cas had cooked him a large meal.

"You need your strength Sam, sit, eat." she said and he gratefully sank to the chair. They shared the food watching the clock on the wall to tell them it was time for the next dose of blood. Cas had offered to give her own in the cure but Sam refused. He knew his worked, it had almost worked on Crowley before they had to stop. Sam also refused to let Cas into the room while he was working on Dean. He was afraid of what the demon would make Dean say to the woman he loved. Or what Cas might do if it brought up the fact that Dean had been spending time with other women while on the run. She was small but she was just as dangerous as the brothers. And she would regret hurting Dean after he was better. Or at least he hoped she would regret it. She was so hurt now that there was no telling what would happen between the two of them when the demon was gone.

"Sam?" Cassidy asked pouring him coffee after the meal. He realized he had been scowling at the table while she had been talking.

"Sorry, what?" he asked sitting up exhausted.

"I asked if you thought I should be here when Dean was back to normal?" she said sitting and pouring some cream into her coffee.

"Why would you ask that? Of course you should be here." Sam said confused at to why she would even think about leaving.

"It might be easier for the both of us if I just left. That way he wouldn't have to face what he did and I…I could go back to my life on the road." she said. Sam reached across the table to take her hand in his.

"He needs you Cassidy, we both need you. You're family now and family doesn't run away from each other no matter how much we might want to." Sam told her.

"Oh Sammy." she said getting up to go to him. She pushed her way into his lap and cried against his chest while he held her. God, would she ever stop crying? Sam wondered and then scolded himself for his thoughts. If she needed to cry he'd let her cry. After all it was his brother that was the cause.

Eventually Cassidy cried herself out and sniffled sitting up. She crawled out of Sam's lap before going about cleaning up after their meal without a word. Sam knew she was embarrassed about crying so much so he just let her. He sipped his cooling coffee and watched her go about the kitchen. The silence was a little tense and when Castiel fluttered in with Afriel Sam was glad.

"Hey Cas, Af." Sam greeted the angels.

"Hello Sam, Cassidy." Castiel said while Afriel went to Cassidy to make sure she was ok. Cassidy threw her arms around the angel and hugged him close.

"Oh darling, you must think me so silly." she said wiping at her red eyes.

"Never silly Cassidy." Afriel smiled and wiped his thumb at one of the escaping tears. "You are so strong, stronger then any human I have ever observed. Stronger then most angels I know." he grinned and she laughed lightly.

"I love you Afriel." she hugged him close and he blushed a deep red.

"I love you as well Cassidy." he replied but he was giving Castiel an embarrassed look.

"How lucky you are to have the love of two angels." he teased her as she pulled back.

"I think we're all pretty lucky Afriel. All of this darkness in our lives and we're still surrounded by love." she said. Letting go of the embarrassed angel she wiped her hands across her jeans.

"Alright, thats enough of that. Sam, its almost time for another dose. Castiel, Afriel, the towels are in that drawers and I have a lot of dishes to wash." she said getting back into her cleaning. It was easier then dealing with the emotions rolling through her. Despite Sam's reassurance that she was family and belonged here she had the feeling that she wold soon be leaving the bunker.

Dean was so horribly ashamed of himself that he didn't know how he would ever face his friends and family again. He had done horrible things, and deep down he knew it hadn't all been the demon. But the person he dreaded to face the most was waiting for him in their bedroom. Would she scream at him? Throw things? Use some of those blades that they kept on the walls? Whatever she chose to do Dean would take it and he would beg for forgiveness. But first he had had to shower off the smell of all the mistakes he had made while on the run. His stomach turned and he had thrown his guts up in the shower. God, the things he had done. And even worse was the things he had wanted to do. Why the hell hadn't Sam found him and killed him? He sighed because he knew that no matter what he did Sam would never do that. Just as he would never give up on his brother. And now here he was walking down the bunker hallway in only a towel trying to gather the courage to face Cassidy.

He came to his bedroom door and tried to gather his strength. He gave a heavy sigh and reached to turn the knob. He threw the door open and when he saw Cassidy sitting on his bed waiting for him his knees almost gave out. She was still so beautiful, pale with her dark head of hair and those blue eyes that slowly raised to look at him. She looked as afraid as he felt. But behind the fear was pain.

"Cassidy." Dean said striding into the room and throwing himself at her feet. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face into her stomach. Tears threatened to spill out of his eyes and panic was heavy on his chest. For the most part Cassidy held herself still, letting him feel her against him. But after a minute her hand went to his hair and ran through it softly.

"Its ok Dean, I'm here." she said gently. She let her fingers glide through the dark blonde of his hair and slowly felt all of her anger at him drain away. This wasn't the man who had hurt her, who had betrayed her in the most horrible ways. The man clinging to her in desperation was the one she loved, the man who she needed more than any one else in the world. This was her Dean.

"I love you Dean." she said and his head shot up to look at her.

"You do?" he asked and she nodded with a sad little smile.

"Of course I do. It'll take more then a little demon to chase me off." she told him running her hand down his cheek now. He leaned into the touch gratefully.

"I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry." Dean apologized desperately.

"Shhhhh, enough." she shushed him with her fingers on his lips. He looked at her wide eyed.

"I don't need to hear apologizes Dean. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I know that it was the demon. But I also know that there was a little of you in there the whole time. I just hope that little piece is back and all mine." she told him.

"I don't deserve this Cas. You should be screaming at me, calling me down to the dirt, making me beg and grovel for forgiveness. Please, just make me beg." he said so very desperate to make things right.

"No Dean, no begging." she shook her head. She pulled him up to place a tentative kiss on his mouth. He kissed her back eagerly but when she pulled back he didn't stop her.

"In thirty years when we're both old and creaky just remember how awesome I am." she smiled at him shyly. Dean couldn't believe it. Cassidy was still offering him the rest of her life, even after everything he had done to her.

"I love you so much Cas. And I'm going to spend the rest of my life proving it." he promised her and kissed her again. He peppered her entire face with quick kisses until she was laughing and pushing him away. She smiled at him softly before leaning in to kiss him again but this time it was a little more passionate. He kissed her back, letting her set the pace. He was so afraid of pushing for too much too fast but he needed to feel her against him. He entire being ached to know that she was there, with him. All of the bad things he had done weighed on him and he needed her to soothe his pain.

"Baby…" he pleaded taking her hand and placing it over his racing heart. "I need you.I know I have no right to want this but God I do." he told her honestly.

"I don't know if I can Dean." she replied and his heart dropped. He let her hand drop out of his grasp and he starting to move away from her.

"But I want to try." she said putting her hand to his warm skin again. Dean didn't try to move, just let her do what he wanted with him. She teased her fingernails over his chest, watching as the skin goose bumped in under her touch. She sat up straighter, using both hand in her exploration now. She knew Dean's body almost better then her own but right now this felt like the first time was touching him. His skin was hot against hers, the tan dark against her own paleness. She trailed her hands down over his nipples and they hardened in response. Dean was almost panting in under her gentle caresses and he had his eyes shut.

"How long since someone has touched you like this?" she asked before she could stop the question from coming out. Dean's eyes snapped open and his mouth turned down at the corners.

"No one touches me like you do Cassidy, not ever." he told her. He brought his hands up to rest on hers. "No matter how many others I might have had none of them compare to you Cas, none."

"Did you think about me?" she asked him in a voice so filled with pain that she cursed herself. Why the hell was she doing this? Asking questions she didn't want the answers to?

"Cas…" Dean trailed off giving her fingers a squeeze.

"No, never mind. I'm not interested in what happened while you were gone." she shook her head hard, trying to bring herself back to the moment with Dean. She finally had him back, finally had him in front of her. It was time to be happy about it. Instead she was wallowing in all that had happened.

"I think I need some time Dean, I'm sorry." she said pushing him back slightly. She stood up from the bed and stepped past him but he grabbed her hip stopping her.

"I'll give you all the time you need Cas." he said looking up at her. His eyes were so green, so sincere and it made Cas even more confused about what she wanted right now. Trying to keep some of her dignity she gave Dean a gentle caress across his cheek before leaving.

"Still nothing?" Sam asked Dean as they sat in the early morning hush of the bunker a few days later.

"She's not mad Sam. She never raised her voice, never hit me, never cried…nothing. She just looks at me." Dean told his brother over his coffee cup.

"Are you sleeping with her?" he asked.

"We're sleeping together every damned night, but its like two strangers in the same bed. Half way through the night I'll wake up and she'll be wrapped around me like she's afraid I'm going to leave but in the morning she's back on her side not even touching me." he sighed. "What do I do Sammy?"

"I have no idea Dean, I'm sorry but I really don't." Sam apologized. "Maybe she just really does need time."

"And I'll give it to her, but I need to know she's here, with me." Dean said. Of all the shit that had come about from him being a Knight of Hell this was the worst. This he couldn't fight his way through or make up for. Cassidy's heart was torn to shreds because of his infidelity and it ate him up inside.

"Maybe that's the problem." Sam said. "She's been stuck here in the bunker for days now, face to face with you and all your bad decisions."

"Thanks for that Sammy." Dean growled emptying his coffee.

"I just mean maybe she needs to get out of here for a while, take her somewhere."

"You mean like a date? I thought I was done with all that chick flick crap." Dean sighed.

"You may be but I doubt she is." Sam smiled. "And even if she was maybe she just needs to know you still think about her that way."

"I don't get it." Dean admitted.

"She looks at you and sees all the women you picked up in bars while you were away." Sam's bitchface was coming on full force.

"Yeah?"

"And she wants to know you think about her differently. Would you ever take one of the bar girls out on the town? Spend money on them? Make them feel special?" Sam was getting exasperated with his brother's hard head.

"Hell no." Dean said finally starting to catch on to where Sam was going with this.

"Then do that. Make her feel special."

"I think I get it now." Dean said and he gave Sam a sheepish smile.

"How is it between the two of us you're the one in a committed relationship?" Sam sighed hanging his head in his hands.

"Sorry brother, guess I'm just better at it." Dean smirked at him.


	12. Chapter 115

**11.5**

Despite Sam's advice Dean still didn't know what to do about Cassidy. He knew he needed to make her feel special, make her see how much she meant to him. And one stupid date couldn't do that. So he wracked his brain trying to come up with something that could. He harassed Afriel until the poor angel fled from the room as soon as he entered. He felt guilty about hounding the kid but no one knew Cassidy as good as Afriel did. And after pinning him into a corner and asking him question after question Dean finally got an idea.

"Sam, I need to borrow some money. And I need you to go shopping for me." Dean said to his brother. Sam looked at him and only gave a mild bitchface at the request before agreeing.

"Thanks Sammy. Look I'm going to be going away for a few days, I don't want you to worry. I'm taking Cas with me." he said and left the room before Sam opened his mouth. Next he found Castiel and Afriel and got their co-operation in his plan. Both were happy to help and Afriel finally understood all the questions Dean had been asking. The oldest Winchester spent the rest of the day on the phone or packing or squirelling away suitcases. Sam watched him curiously but didn't ask questions.

The next morning bright and early Dean was leaning over Cassidy in bed waiting for her to wake up. He was nervous, his body trying to fidget in under the blankets but he made himself stay still. But after about ten minutes he started placing soft kisses on Cas's neck.

"Dean stop it." Can grumbled in her sleep weakly batting at him. Dean chuckled and went back in for another kiss. Cas sighed and rolled over on to her back.

"What?" She asked yawning and stretching.

"I want you to come with me." Dean said looking into her sleepy blue eyes.

"Where?" Cas asked waking up a little more. She was tired, grumpy from all the pent up emotions she was fighting and all the unanswered sexual tension between her and Dean.

"Its a surprise." he grinned down at her. He leaned in for a quick kiss and then jumped out of bed hustling her out as well. Cas threw on Dean's robe and followed him out of the room.

"Morning Dean, Cassidy." came Castiel's gravelly voice from the library where everyone was waiting for them. Cassidy noticed suitcases on the floor next to the angels and she paused her steps.

"Where are we going that we need that much luggage?" she asked pointing to the mismatched pieces. It was pretty obvious that they were taken from the entire group of hunters in the bunker with a few vintage pieces that had probably been left here by the Men of Letters.

"We're going on vacation." Dean smiled to her happily. Cas noticed he didn't have on his layer after layer of plain and denim like he normally did, instead going for just a jeans and tee shirt. It made him look years younger, of course the obvious enthusiasm on his face could be helping with that too.

"Vacation?" she asked still not following. Dean nodded and Afriel was shooting her a look that said 'don't mess this up'.

"Somewhere sunny and warm." Dean rubbed his hands together. He reached into one of the bags and brought out a little sundress that Cassidy didn't remember buying. It was a pale pink and looked nothing like what she would have picked out for herself.

"Put this on, we depart on angel airwaves in ten." Dean smiled. Cas took the dress, looked at all the smiling males in the room and finally had to smile back. They had obviously worked hard on this surprise and it would be rude to scowl at them. She instead went to the bathroom to get dressed. She kind of wanted a shower but ten minutes wasn't long enough to do that so she settled for brushing her teeth and hair and putting on the dress. It was a very nice dress, the fabric soft against her skin. She drew her hair up into a very long ponytail and went back to the guys. Dean looked her up and down and it made her blush.

"Beautiful." he murmured walking to her and giving her a slow kiss. When Cassidy wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer Sam coughed uncomfortably.

"Where are we going?" Cas asked as Dean pulled away.

"I got us our own private little hut in Bora Bora. With a little help." he said throwing a grateful look around the room.

"Bora Bora? That's half way around the world Dean." Cas said in surprise.

"You, me, the sun and all the margaritas you can drink baby." he said. Castiel was talking with Afriel and suddenly he left with all of the luggage in the room. Afriel walked over to the couple smiling warmly.

"He'll meet us there. He wants to ward the place." he explained Castiel's sudden departure.

"We'll be back in three days Sammy. Don't touch my room." Dean said to his brother before Afriel was touching their shoulders and transporting them to a beautiful sunny little house surrounded by water.

Cassidy gasped at the pure beauty around her. The water was a deep turquoise and the house around them consisted of one open airy room with an enclosed bathroom. Outside around the entire place was a walkway that led to a beach of shining white sand. Cassidy ran to the walkway and looked into the sparkling water. Beneath the surface were exotic fish she had never seen before. She turned back to see Dean watching her closely.

"I did good?" Dean asked her as she threw herself into his arms squealing in delight.

"You did good baby." She said peppering him with kisses. The angels were watching them curiously.

"We'll be back in three days. If you need anything pray." Castiel said before disappearing. Afriel fidgeted his weight from foot to foot.

"Can I talk to you Afriel?" Cassidy asked the obviously hesitant angel. He nodded and followed her outside.

"What is it? Are you afraid of me not being home with you?" She asked him out of Dean's ear shot. She still lowered her voice knowing the angel could hear her no matter is she whispered or not.

"No, its not that. I'm an angel Cassidy, thousands of years older then you remember?" he smiled at her delusion. "I just…" he hesitated looking back at Dean.

"You can tell me Afriel, you can always tell me anything." she said touching his arm lightly.

"Don't mess this up Cas." he said quickly looking back at her. "Dean has worked so hard to do this for you, please just try to make it work."

"Why wouldn't I?" she asked.

"Because as much as you don't want to see it you're furious with him. You're punishing him for his demon days." Afriel surprised her with his ability to see right to the heart of her.

"I'm not trying to." she said looking at Dean who was raiding the little fridge for beer.

"I know and that makes it worse. Please, take this time to fix it." Afriel said. He leaned in to kiss her cheek and then he was gone as well leaving her all alone on a private island in the ocean with Dean Winchester.

"This is amazing." Cassidy sighed as she sun bathed on the little balcony off of their hut. There were two luxurious tanning chairs laid out and she had quickly changed in to a bikini and hopped onto one. She had asked Dean where the new clothes had come from and laughed when he blushed and said Sam had taken care of it for him. Didn't matter to her, Sam seemed to have good taste in summer clothes.

"It sure is." Dean replied looking her over as the sun warmed her pale skin. He was in a pair of bright green board shorts and Cassidy was enjoying the view of all that Winchester flesh. Even his anti-possession tattoo seemed sexier when it was bathed in the tropical sun.

"Smooth Winchester, real smooth." she said throwing her drink umbrella at him and laughing.

"I'm glad your happy. You needed this." Dean said cracking open his beer and sitting next to her.

"No baby, we needed this." she said reaching over for his hand. He linked his fingers with hers before bringing them up to his lips.

"Want to go swimming?" he asked looking out at the stunning water i front of them.

"Ughhh…" she hesitated.

"What?" he asked suddenly afraid he had done something wrong, asked the wrong thing.

"I never really learned how to swim that's all." she admitted.

"And I took you to a place entirely surrounded by water." Dean sighed looking crestfallen.

"You could teach me." she said hoping to raise his spirits. Afriel had been right, wether she knew it or not she was punishing Dean for his mistakes and she vowed to stop.

"I could." he smiled at her. "When you're ready."

"Can we stat at the beach? I don't think I'd do too well just jumping in the ocean." she asked nervously.

"We can do whatever you want baby." he leaned over to kiss her softly. Like all his kisses now this one was hesitant. Almost as if every time he kissed her he expected her to shove him away. So this time she reached up, wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him down on top of her. He almost fell into her lap and they both smiled in their kiss but didn't break it. Dean positioned himself so that he lay over her, Cassidy spreading her legs so he could fit between them. Dean's skin was warm from the sun and Cas loved the feel of it. Even better was the taste of him, he tasted like fruit, beer and something that was exclusively Dean.

Cassidy ran her hands through his hair while Dean ran his hands up her ribs. He reached the tie on the back of her bikini and with one wicked flick of his fingers it was undone.

"Dean Winchester, you are mighty presumptuous." Cassidy smiled as he pulled back to breath. She knew he loved it when she broke out the southern charm.

"Am I?" he asked seriously. Here it was, him offering the chance to stop. And normally she'd take it, unsure of how to handle what he was offering. But not today.

Cassidy leaned up closer to him so that she could reach between them and pull of her bikini top and throwing it over her shoulder. Now she sat in front of Dean topless and his eyes drank in the sight. The sun was already darkening her skin slightly and the barely there tan lines were sexy as all hell.

"You are so beautiful baby." he breathed reverently and leaned down to kiss along the top of one breast. His hand came up to cup the other and she lay back down. Moaning softly at his touches Cassidy closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling. She felt his tongue against her skin and she panted as she felt it trace down to her nipple. Teeth and stubble scrapped against the soft tissue and caused her to tighten her legs on Dean's waist.

"What do you want baby?" Dean asked her looking up. She had opened her eyes and was now pinned with the deep green of his stare.

"You, always you." she replied. Something inside of her snapped with the confession and she was pulling Dean to her desperately. She kissed him hard, used her hands to untie the string on his shorts before pushing them down his legs with her feet. For his part Dean was trying to get her bikini bottom off without leaving her mouth. It was awkward but eventually he swore, tore the fabric apart and they were both gloriously naked against each other.

"Baby…" Dean breathed against her lips as his hard cock slid against her and she arched up to meet him. "Need you…"

"Fuck me Dean." Can begged arching in under him again. Dean left her mouth to kneel up and spread her legs farther. His eyes were locked on the wetness between her legs and he pushed inside of her. Cas's eyes widened at the feel of him long and hard inside of her. Finally!

"Missed this." Dean muttered as he thrust inside of her. A fine sheen of sweat covered him already and Cassidy wanted to lick every drop of it off. But instead she bucked against him, taking him deeper inside of her and making him hiss in pleasure. He threw back his head and panted.

"Harder." Cassidy begged reaching back to grip the chair. Dean obliged her and pounded in to her, each stroke reverberating through her entire body. So much pleasure coursed through her, all because of Dean.

"Can't hold out baby." Dean said through grit teeth as he looked down at Cassidy.

"Don't." she ordered and arched to back to push herself onto him even more. She made contact with the slight curl of hair at his crotch and the brief sensation against her clit was enough to send her over the edge. Dean was buried deep inside of her when she clenched around him and screamed his name. Instantly he spilled inside of her, almost bruising her with the force of his fingers against her skin. As they rode out their orgasm together Cassidy felt the pain she had harboured for the last week evaporate. She was suddenly dragging Dean down against her for a deep and soulful kiss. He was still inside of her and it was a little awkward but Dean knew there was something to this kiss, something she needed.

"I'm so sorry Dean, I didn't mean to pull away I really didn't." Cassidy was hurriedly apologizing while Dean moved enough to pull out of her. He lay over her looking into the panicked blue eyes.

"You had every right baby." he assured her with another kiss. He reached up to cup her cheek with his hand. "This whole mess was my fault Cassidy, I'll take whatever consequences I have to. As long as I have you, and Sammy and Cas, then my world is complete." he told her.

"I love you so much." Cas replied wrapped him in her arms and holding him close to her.

"I love you too." he smiled into her hair.

"Are you sure you've never swam before?" Dean asked his woman as he watched her dive and paddle in the water around their hut. It was their last day here and they had filled the days with sun, swimming lessons and lots and lots of sex. He was actually surprised he could walk after all the sex. And Cas seemed intent on catching up on all the sex they had missed. It took nothing for her to just jump him in the middle of lunch, the middle of dinner, the middle of a conversation. Dean's head swam with pleasure thinking about the past few days.

"I was always a fast learner." she called up to him. And it was true, after only a few quick lessons from Dean, who was by no means a gifted instructor, Cassidy had enough confidence to go into the deeper water. Now she would just run and jump off the walkway into the water usually giving a loud laugh and holler.

"I don't think I can go back to seeing you with clothes on." Dean gave her a suggestive smirk. Since discovering this really was an isolated spot Cas had shed her clothing and spent 24 hour naked. Her pale skin was now tanned a golden hue and her hair was beginning to lighten from all the rays of sun. Dean wasn't as comfortable in his naked skin as she was so he just wore shorts.

"Then we should bid the world good bye and stay here." she smiled swimming up to the ladder and climbing out. Water cascaded down her skin and he watched every drop with interest.

"I doubt Sam would appreciate that." Dan smiled as she walked over and leaned against him. The water was slightly cool and made him shiver.

"I think you'd be surprised at what Sam would do to see you happy Dean." she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her fingers trailed up to play with the ends of his short hair.

"Well I can't leave him, he's my baby brother." he was slightly distracted by her naked body against his and he was rambling.

"Then I guess we'd better make the most of our last few hours." she leaned into him slowly, caressing his lips with her tongue. This led to more caressing, more touching, more kisses and more sex. Dean's heart was racing as he lay in bed afterwards.

"We need more vacations like this." he said to the ceiling while Cas cuddled into his side happily.

"Agreed." she nodded. The sun was starting to set and they watched it from bed.

"We really should get ready I guess, the angels will be here shortly." Cas sighed.

"I don't wanna." Dean said pulling up his pillow to cover his face.

"Hey, I gave you the option of staying." Cas laughed pulling the pillow away. There was a loud fanfare of trumpets and harps in the arm startling them suddenly.

"What the actual hell was that?" Dean asked sitting up.

"I think its Afriel's way of giving us a heads up." Cassidy was laughing. When she had warned Afriel that she needed a little warning before he just flew in she didn't know he would take it so seriously.

"An angel doorbell, smart." Dean grinned. The air was filled with rustling feathers and then Castiel and Afriel were standing in the setting sunlight.

"Hey guys." Dean said laying back against his pillow. Cassidy was making sure the sheets were covering anything she didn't want the angels to see.

"Hello Dean, Cassidy. Did you enjoy your vacation?" Castiel asked politely.

"Very much so, thanks for asking." Dean replied. "Whats new in the real world?"

"Sam is awaiting our return, there is a new case he wants to show you." Afriel said.

Dean let out a large sigh and looked around for his shorts. "Back to the real world baby."

"I refuse." Cas pouted. He leaned in to give her a kiss and jumped out of bed quickly hauling on his shorts. He went to their suitcases and grabbed a dress for Car to haul on.

"Give us five minutes guys." he asked the angels who instantly left so that the humans could get dressed. Can stretched herself out, let out a heavy sigh and got up. When the angels returned they were ready to go even if it was some what reluctantly.

"I take it the past few days were relaxing Cassidy?" Afriel asked grabbing a suitcase and placing a hand on her shoulder. The scene around her changed from the sunny warm paradise to the dim dank bunker.

"It was perfect Afriel, thank you." she placed her hand on his and squeezed. "And how was your time away?"

"I missed you." he smiled at her. "But we were able to make advances on the angel front."

"Good to hear." she took her baggage from him and placed it off to the side to take to her room later. She was a little sad that she'd probably never get to make use of the bikini again but when she looked at her perfectly tanned skin she smiled.

"Hey guys, welcome back." Sam said coming into the room with a book in his hands.

"Heya Sammy, what's new?" Dean was back in his layers of clothing and Cas wrinkled her nose. Ugh, back to the plaid. Sighing Cassidy shook her head of all the wishes of her island paradise and made herself concentrate on the world of hunting.


	13. Chapter 12

**12 *TRIGGER WARNING for pregnancy and miscarriage later in this chapter, I apologize but its something I've dealt with in real life and I feel it brings more to the story then it takes away...sorry :(**

"Cassidy I need to speak with you." Afriel's voice echoed in the library a few weeks later as the three hunters poured over some new information. Giving the angel a curious look she went to him. He surprised her by taking her away from the bunker and to a clearing in some woods god knew where.

"Uh, why the secret location Afriel?" she asked looking around at the tall trees.

"Castiel has informed me that some times humans need private places to have serious discussions and this is one of my favourite. Did you know I was the one to plant that first tree over there?" he pointed to a towering tree that had to be at least a hundred years old.

"Really? Wow." She said in appreciation.

"It was an order from my mentor Joshua. He was always fond of trees and plants." Afriel smiled warmly at the old tree.

"Why are we here Af?" Cassidy asked the angel as he got lost in his own thoughts.

"Were you aware you are carrying Dean's child?" he asked and Cassidy froze.

"What?" she asked her hand automatically cupping her stomach.

"The child is not very big, barely passable as viable right now. But you hold inside of you life Cassidy." Afriel said placing his hand over hers. Cassidy's heart was racing, her breath was struggling to emerge and her head was swimming.

"I'm pregnant?" she whispered. "How? When?"

"I believe you are quite well versed in the how. And the fetus is at 9 weeks 4 days of development." Afriel told her.

"How do you know this? When did you find out?" she asked him.

"I knew the moment it happened, our bond making me more perceptible to your body and its changes. And of course Castiel knows because of his bond with Dean." he explained.

"Cas knows? He didn't tell Dean did he?" she asked in a panic. Dean couldn't hear this from Castiel.

"No, we agreed it should be your place to inform him." Afriel told her. Cassidy nodded her head in agreement and then sank to the floor of the forest. The ground was cold and damp against her butt but she barely felt it. She was pregnant, she was going to have a baby. She was going to have Dean's baby.

"I…" she fought for words. "I…"

"Cassidy are you alright?" Afriel knelt down next to her. She looked up at his beautiful golden gaze and it seemed to help calm her some.

"I'm going to be a Mom." she said a slow smile spreading across her face.

"You are going to be a Mom." Afriel said as a matching smile crossed his lips as well. She threw her arms around the angel and started to sob.

Days later and Cassidy was still walking around in a daze. Her every thought was on the little life growing inside of her. She hadn't found the perfect moment to tell Dean but he knew something was up because of the way she was acting. She had started to eat as instructed by all the baby sites, her smile was almost permanently stretched across her face and she was in the habit of humming softly to herself while working around the bunker. The tunes were old lullaby that she knew and even some new angelic ones that Afriel had taught her. The angel was thrilled to be a part of her pregnancy and glowed even more so then her if it was possible.

"Ok Cas, what the hell is up with you?" Dean and Sam asked coming into the kitchen where she was baking some pie. She knew that Dean had to be serious if he was ignoring the apple and cinnamon in a bowl in front of her while she rolled out the dough.

"Excuse me?" She asked instantly trying to wipe the smile off of her face.

"You've been acting weird, somethings up." Sam agreed with his brother. He crossed his arms over his chest and broke out mild bitch face #5.

"Have I?" she asked not giving them any answers. She still wasn't ready to share her secret, wanting the baby inside of her to be hers alone for just a little while longer.

"Are you on drugs or something?" Dean asked her and she laughed.

"Yes, all the drugs." she smirked. She shaped the dough into the pie pan and Dean was momentarily distracted by the filling finally. He snatched a piece of apple and chewed but looked at her suspiciously.

"I'm fine guys, just in my own little world, I promise." she said slapping at Dean's fingers as he tried to take another piece. They both looked at her like they were still waiting for her to spill the beans but she just hummed to herself and finished the pie. As she placed the last piece of lattice work on the top Castiel popped into the kitchen.

"Hello." he said but his face was worried. Something was up.

"Hello Castiel." Cassidy replied glad at the distraction. "Where is Afriel?"

"He is currently chasing down a lead for me. I need your help Dean, Sam." Cas said and the boys immediately lost interest in their cornering of Cassidy. She was relieved and put the pie in the oven. When she was done the boys were walking out with Castiel but Dean shot her a look over his shoulder. He wasn't going to give up on this conversation.

Cassidy puttered around the kitchen until the pie was cooked but she noticed her body didn't feel right. She was having aches in her back and cramps were coming and going in her womb. One particularly has cramp had her grasping her stomach and bending over in pain. The timer for the pie went off and Cassidy pulled the perfectly cooked desert from the oven before another cramp almost drove her to her knees.

"Afriel, I need you." she prayed as she raced to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She braced herself against the sink before looking down to see blood bleeding trough her jeans.

"AFRIEL!" she near screamed and the angel appeared behind her looking ruffled.

"Something is wrong, what's happening?" she asked him desperatly as he took in her appearance.

"Oh Cassidy." he said sorrow filling his gaze. "You are miscarrying."

"What? No, I can't." she panicked placing her hand over her stomach. She wasn't even showing yet, her stomach still flat and hard under her hand.

"I'm sorry Cassidy, there's nothing I can do." Afriel said reaching out to hold her as her tears became to come. Another cramp hit her and she doubled over again him.

"I can ease your pain if you wish." he offered. His eyes were tear filled as he looked at her.

"No, just…just don't let Dean find me." she begged him. If this was her cross to bear then she would. If she would loose this part of herself then she would gladly remember each tremor that passed through her body.

"I won't." he promised. He reached down to place his hand on her stomach and his eyes got a far away look. "The fetus will pass naturally, there is no need to go to a doctor." he informed her.

Another cramp passed and Cassidy just wanted to be done with it. The cruelty of knowing she had almost been a mother was too much and she got angry. Angry with the world, angry with God and angry with herself for getting her hopes up.

"Please Afriel, just leave me alone. I…I need to do this alone." she pleaded with the angel.

"Never Cassidy, I'd never leave you to do this alone." he vowed to her. And he kept his word, never leaving her side even as she had to strip and shower, pass the little lifeless body from her own and cried like a broken child in his arms. Afriel held her, his body warmth and angelic touch helping her through it all. When she finally collapsed to the floor too exhausted to even cry any more he held he in his ams and let his grace comfort them both. The entire room was bathed in a blueish white light when he let his wings free to wrap around her. She finally fell asleep in his arms.

Dean knew something was wrong, knew it in the very core of his being. Cassidy had gone from her normal self, to happy home maker crazy woman to withdrawn lets kill anything that moves hunter in the span of days. Afriel was avoiding him and even Castiel was being a little more attentive to him which just made him more suspicious. Finally he couldn't take it any more and he cornered all three of them in the study while Sam was gone for supplies.

"What the hell is up? And don't give me any bs either." he said glaring at all three of them equally.

"Dean…" Cassidy said with a panicked look.

"Don't Dean me. Something is happening and you're trying to keep me out of it. Talk." he demanded. The angels both looked to Cassidy on how to proceed.

"I guess its time to tell him." she lowered her head and the two angels disappeared. Dean looked nervously at his girlfriend.

"I was pregnant." she said flatly and Dean's knees went weak.

"What?" he asked trying to stop himself from falling to the floor.

"Almost three months." she continued. She was lucky she was sitting already because this conversation was making her weak. And nauseous.

"I…I don't understand." Dean said falling into the chair across from her.

"I lost the baby Dean." she finally looked over at him. Her large blue eyes were full of unspilled tears.

"Cassidy…" Dean whispered in absolute horror. She had been pregnant, with his child, and had lost it. And didn't ask for his help.

"Afriel says theres something wrong with the way I'm shaped on the inside. I can get pregnant but it would be extremely difficult to carry the baby to term." she said speaking like she was reading from a textbook instead of about her own body.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked her.

"Because you didn't…you don't…it was…" she struggled and her tears finally began to flow down her cheeks. Dean felt himself torn between being angry at her for not telling him and going to her and comforting her. But as usual the anger won out.

"It was my child. You had no right to keep that from me." he said and Cassidy lowered her head.

"I know." she said.

"I can't believe you hid that from me!" he slammed his hand down on the table.

"I'm sorry Dean." Cas said and the defeat in her voice was enough to bring him down from his rage.

"And you went through it all alone? I could have been there for you Cas, I should have been there for you." he said softer. He slid out of his chair and went to her. He turned her chair so that he could kneel between her legs and wrap his arms around her.

"I wasn't alone, Afriel was with me the whole time." she explained. "I didn't know how you would react, didn't know if you'd…want us." she tried to explain in hitching breaths.

"Wouldn't want you? Of course I'd want you Cas. I will always love you and any child would still be a part of you. It might not have been planned but I would have been thrilled." he told her. She cried against him and Dean let his own tears leak out as he buried his head in her hair.

"Is everything ok?" Afriel's voice came from over Dean's shoulder.

"Dean?" Castiel's voice joined in. Dean ignored them both to hold Cas as she cried.

"You both knew?" Dean asked not looking at the angels.

"Yes." They replied honestly.

"Never, ever keep something like this from me again Castiel." Dean warned the angel looking back at him. Cas had the grace to look ashamed of himself. Dean turned back to Cassidy and saw her looking up at him. She looked afraid, like she was waiting for him to send her away or something.

"Want to go lie down?" he asked her quietly and she nodded. He helped up and as they were passing the angels he reached out his hand to place it on Afriel's shoulder.

"Thank you for being there for her." he said to the angel gratefully. Afriel looked surprised but nodded his head.

"Afriel said there was something wrong, on the inside?" Dean asked her after a lull in conversation.

"Yeah, I have a weird shape." she gave a weak smile.

"I happen to like your shape." he flirted. She laughed and he looked back up at the ceiling. "Can he fix it?"

"Do you want him to?" she asked surprised.

"Do you?" he looked over at her seriously. Cassidy turned so that she was staring up at the ceiling as well.

"I never wanted kids Dean, I never kept that a secret. This world we live in, this world we fight in, isn't meant for little people. And no matter how hard we can try they would end up hurt. Either from our jobs or our deaths. There's no way to protect hunter kids, no way for them to grow up normal." she said being completely honest with him. "I have scars, you have scars, everyone we love has scars. What kind of person would want to bring a child into that?"

"But none of that answers my question Cas. Do you want to have a baby?" he asked her. Neither of them could look at each other.

"I didn't." she said.

"And now?"

"Yes, yes I do." she whispered closing her eyes at the confession. Dean reached over and pulled her closer to him. She tried to bury her head in his chest but he refused to let her. He wanted her to look at him, to see her eyes.

"Then ask him to fix it." he told her.

"What are you asking me Dean?"

"Get the angels to make things right, give us a chance to be parents. Give us the choice." Dean told her. He was terrified, more terrified then he had been the entire time he was in hell, but he realized that this was something he had wanted his entire life, even if he had never wanted to admit it.

"Some day Dean, but not now. I don't know if I can go through all this again, even if Afriel assures me he fixed it." she told Dean honestly. He nodded his head in understanding.

"Some day…" he trailed off letting Cas bury her nose in his neck and thinking about about a little boy running through the bunker with midnight black hair and his green eyes.


	14. Chapter 13

**12 (After the Darkness)**

Time was going by and Dean still hadn't called. Cassidy was getting equally pissed off and worried. They didn't get to see each other as much as they liked but they had talked every day they could and never, ever let the other worry. Afriel had gone back to heaven with a teary good bye and the usual call if you need anything so now she was totally alone again. She knew the boys were in trouble, they were always in trouble, but Dean had still been sure to call and let her know he was alive. The last call was five days ago and Cas was getting desperate. The only thing she knew was that Amara was bad trouble, Dean wasn't talking about what exactly that meant and that in their last conversation Dean had sounded like he was saying goodbye. And who could she turn to? Bobby as dead, Afriel was gone, Castiel wasn't answering her prayers and both boys were ignoring their phones.

"Fuck!" Cas screamed again and kicked at the tires of Cherry. The car rocked on its frame but remained as silent as ever.

"Cassidy Kidd I presume?" came an unfamiliar voice to her left. Quickly turning around Cas saw a stranger looking at her. He was short, only a little taller then herself but he had a happy smirk on his face. His hair and eyes were golden and he wore a beat up green jacket over jeans.

"Who are you?" she asked reaching for a blade in her jacket.

"Ah ah, don't be like that." he smirked and snapped his fingers. Immediately she was frozen, unable to move anything but her eyelids.

"You don't know me, but maybe one of the boys may have mentioned me in passing. The archangel Gabriel, at your service." he smirked and bowed to her. When he rose again she saw humour glittering in his golden stare.

"Now I know what you're going to say, oh Gabriel, how heavenly thy image and what not. But please, I'm just an archangel standing in front of a girl asking her to shut up and listen." he continued on. Another snap of his fingers and Cas stumbled as she could move again.

"I've heard of you." she said. He smiled at the recognition until she stepped up and rocked him back with a punch. Her hand throbbed but it did wipe the smirk off of his face.

"I also heard what you did to Dean and Sam." she said holding her probably broken hand.

"Oh my father, can't any of you get over that?" Gabriel sighed rubbing at his jaw.

"I'm over it." she shrugged in reply. "I just felt I should do something."

"I like you girl." Gabriel's smirk came back full force. He snapped his fingers and they both had lollipops in their mouths. Cas choked at the sweet sugar filling her mouth.

"I've been told you're the girl to see about the Winchesters." Gabe droned on.

"I don't know about that." she replied honestly taking the sickly sweet treat out of her mouth.

"The word on angel radio is that Dean-o has got a thing for you. And that ain't no small feat with a Winchester."

"I like him too." she shrugged but the goofy grin on her face made Gabe roll his eyes.

"Come with me girl, lets go see if the boys are ok." Gabriel offered her his arm and with apprehension she took it.

"Do you know where they're to? What they're doing?" she asked filled with concern over them.

"Last I heard was that they're laying low in the bunker, trying to recover from the fight with Auntie Amara. Oh, and catching mommy dearest up on all the stuff she missed." he said snapping his fingers. Cassidy looked around and saw they were outside the bunker in Kansas.

"Mommy dearest?" she asked confused even more. What the hell was this angel on?

"Oh you'll see. Now lets get you inside so you can report back on a certain moose man I have my eye on." Gabe pushed her towards the door of the bunker. Cas rubbed the spot between her eyes as she felt a headache coming on. She had no idea what Gabriel was talking about but she was glad enough to be this close to seeing Dean again. Time to see why he had been ignoring her.

She used her key to unlock the bunker, realizing she should have just came back here days ago when she started to worry about them. But she wasn't used to having people to worry about and hadn't been thinking clearly. As she closed the door behind her she turned around to see a strange blonde woman pointing a gun at her.

"Uh…" she said holding up her hands in peace.

"Who the hell are you?" the woman asked with a no nonsense voice.

"I'm Cassidy, who the hell are you?" Cas asked. Behind the woman she heard heavy footsteps running up the stairs. Both Dean and Sam came into view.

"Cassidy?" Dean asked surprised to see her there.

"Who is this Dean?" the blonde asked the boys.

"Its ok Mom, this is Cassidy, she's safe." Sam said and Cas's jaw almost hit the floor. Mom?

"If you say so boys." Mary Winchester said lowering her gun and stepping back.

"Cas what are you doing here?" Sam asked but Cassidy was striding past him to Dean. He was watching her with apprehension and when she swung her fist and connected with his jaw he didn't seem entirely surprised. Unfortunately for her it was the same hand she had hit Gabriel with and it hurt like a son of a bitch!

"Mother fuc…" she said and hissed as she held her hurting hand. Both Sam and Mary were staring at her wide eyed.

"You son of a bitch! You couldn't pick up a phone? Answer a text? Send an angel? I thought you were dead!" she raged at Dean who was looking both guilty and afraid.

"Cas, I'm sorry. I had a lot going on." Dean said holding his jaw.

"I don't give a crap what you had going on Dean, you left me to think the worse!" she said and she knew tears were going to start flowing soon.

"I didn't mean to worry you baby, I just…" he said and hesitated when he saw his mother and Sam looking between the two of them.

"Uh, Mom this is Cassidy. My…" Dean began trying to ease some of the tension by placing his hand on Cas's shoulder but she shrugged him off before storming down the stairs.

"And what the hell is with that? You didn't think I was important enough to call when your freaking MOTHER came back from the dead?!" she raged some more. Everyone followed her down the stairs and Dean was looking apologetically between his family members. "I mean I know coming back from the dead is kind of a Winchester thing but come on!"

"I can explain Cassidy." Dean tried to silence her.

"I don't care what kind of excuses you have Dean. I'm getting my things and then I'm out of here. I have more cases I can be working." she said before she broke down and cried in front of everyone. She stalked off to their room to gather her things. Dean actually cringed when he heard the slam of the door.

"Dean?" his mother asked looking at her son in total confusion. He looked back at her while scrubbing his hand down his face.

"Mom, that's my girlfriend Cassidy. She's a hunter like us." Dean said torn between explaining things to his mom and going after Cas. He couldn't let her just leave.

"You have a girlfriend?" Mary asked with a small smile on her face. Her big baby boy had a girlfriend.

"That's a stupid word." Dean said looking towards the hall.

"You should go after her, don't let her leave." Sam said to his brother. Mary nodded and that was all it took to send Dean from the room practically running down the hall.

"How long?" Mary asked Sam watching him go.

"Uh, a couple of years now. She's actually the only thing that kept him going these past few years." Sam told her as he led his mother to the kitchen where he made her a cup of tea. They sat at the table and Sam explained how they had met Cassidy and how her and Dean had gotten together. Mary listened intently.

"I'm glad he's found someone." Mary smiled warmly. "She seems strong."

"Oh she is. Dean can't pull any of his 'I'm not good enough' crap with her. She'll pull him up short and then kiss him into submission. I've seen it." Sam scrunched his nose.

"That's cute." she laughed at him. "I hope I didn't scare her."

"She's not easy to scare Mom, don't worry. I just hope Dean didn't screw it up." he looked at the door of the kitchen where they heard Dean knocking on his bedroom door pleading to be let in.

"Come on Cas, let me in, let me explain." Dean pleaded while she was throwing things into a spare bag she had. Tears were flowling freely now that she didn't have an audience, her heart aching at the pain Dean had caused her…again. How the hell did it think it was ok to go days without calling her? Especially when things had been so bad the last time they spoke? And with his freaking Mom back? Maybe she didn't mean as much to him as he meant to her. Her throat went dry at the thought. That had to be the only reason though didn't it. He just didn't think about her.

"Cassidy! I'm going to kick this door down!" Dean said yelling from the door now. She grabbed her last blade off the wall and slid it into her bag. There, she was packed. There was no trace of her left in the room and it hurt just to stand here.

"No need, I'm leaving." she said throwing open the door and striding past Dean. Or at least she tried to, he grabbed her arm and swung her around to face him.

"Cas, don't leave, let me talk." he pleaded with her. She saw pain in his eyes but tried to build up her resistance to it.

"Whats to talk about Dean? You had more important things to do. I was mistaken to think I would be one of those important things." she hissed at him. She glanced past I'm to see Sam and Mary quickly duck back into the kitchen but it was enough to settle some of her anger.

"Dean, don't make this harder then it has to be." she said lowering her voice and letting her shoulders slump some.

"Hard? No, I'll make it damn impossible. There's no way in hell I'm loosing you, not now." he said to her. He pulled her against him before she could stop him and kissed her hard. He knew he had fucked up, majorly but there wasn't any scenario in which he was letting her go without a fight.

"Dean, don't." she said the anger going out of her and leaving behind the pain. She looked up into his eyes and he saw how red they were from crying.

"Just let me talk Cas, please?" he begged. She nodded her head slowly and he pulled her into his room.

"Uh, Sammy, there's an angel waiting outside for you. I think he said his name is Gabriel." Cas called down the hall and Sam immediately stuck his head out of the door.

"Gabe?" was all she heard before Dean was shutting the door and closing them into the room together.

"Ok, just let me talk, let me get this all out please Cassidy." Dean said and she nodded again. She sat on the bed with her bag between her feet like she was ready to bolt any second. It hurt Dean but he knew it was his own fault.

"She made me feel Cassidy, she made me forget everything I cared about. I was fighting my own sense of loyalty to her the entire time she was here. That was why I was so distant for the last few months. There was something about her, some connection with her and the mark that made me feel for her. And every time I thought about you it tore me in two. I didn't know what to do, how to explain that." he said.

"It wasn't your choice Dean. That part wasn't your choice." she accepted it. The mark had made him a demon and the mark had tied him to the Darkness.

"There's more." he sighed. "To defeat Amara we needed to overpower her with souls. And I was the bomb. I was going to die Cas, I was going to sacrifice myself to stop Amara." he said. Her eyes turned hard and he knew she was on the verge of screaming at him over his stupidity.

"I know, it was a shitty thing to do. But in the end it worked out and she gave my mom back. She brought her back Cas." he said.

"That's why you were saying good bye? You couldn't tell me?" she asked hurt.

"No, I knew if I told you I'd change my mind. This was bigger then you and me Cassidy, I had to make that choice." he said pacing in front of her.

"And then it was over. You lived." she said.

"I did." he nodded.

"Why Dean? Was I that much of a low priority to you that you did all this without talking to me? And then left me to wonder what had happened?" she squeaked out.

"No baby, no." he said pulling her into his chest. She let him but stood woodenly against him.

"Every time I felt something for her I remembered the pain on your face when you found out about the other women when I was a demon. I…I couldn't face you like that again." he tried to explain.

"Not good enough Dean." she said pushing him away. She looked at him, unable to even put into words the hurt she was feeling. More then she had ever felt in her life.

"I'm done Dean. I'm done forgiving you for your mistakes. I'm done hurting because you don't know how to act. I'm just done." she said and her shoulders slumped. She stepped past him and grabbed her bag. Without so much as a glance behind her she fled from the bunker to find Sam and Grabiel talking in the parking lot.

"Come on sweet tooth, get me back to my car." she demanded of the archangel.


	15. Chapter 14

**14**

Dean was pacing like a caged lion. His head hurt from pulling at his hair and his chest was tight. Mary and Sam watched him and neither of them knew what to do.

"I'm an idiot." Dean said once again and neither argued with him. "What the hell have I done? How could I be so stupid…again?"

"Again?" Mary asked Sam in a quiet voice.

"He uh…he slept with some other women while he was a demon." Sam explained.

"Why do I keep doing this? I push and push her away and keep expecting her to come back." Dean ranted some more. "Its no wonder she doesn't love me any more."

"Dean, stop being stupid." Mary said suddenly. Dean stopped pacing and looked at his mother in shock.

"Mom?" Sam asked just as surprised.

"A woman doesn't run from a man after that because she doesn't love him you moron, its because she loves him too much. She's terrified that you don't feel the same." Mary said sitting back and crossing her arms.

"Of course I love her." Dean told his mother.

"Then why would you ever treat her like that?" Mary demanded. "If your father had ever faced anything even half as bad as what you do and didn't let me know he was ok I would have skinned him alive."

"I…gahhhhhhh!" Dean kicked at the furniture. "I didn't exactly have a stable male role model when it comes to women Mom." he sighed.

"I'm so sorry baby." Mary said getting up and hugging her oldest son. There was so much she had missed, so much she had to make up for. And the John she knew and loved wasn't the John that raised her boys.

"How are you going to fix this Dean?" Sam asked and Dean was surprised at how angry he sounded. Mary pulled away but didn't let go of her son.

"Sammy?" Dean asked.

"She's not only your girlfriend Dean, she's my family. You think it doesn't hurt me when she takes off like this? That I don't suffer when you do stupid things that make her run?" Sam was trying not to raise his voice but with each question it went louder and louder.

"Jesus." Dean said lowering his head in shame. Sam was right, Cassidy was family. She was a part of Sammy's life just as much as his and it wasn't just Dean he was hurting when things went bad.

"I'll fix this Sam, I promise. I'll bring her home." Dean told his brother. Sam just nodded not entirely convinced that Dean could undo the damage he had so stupidly done. He knew that if he was the one on the other end of Dean's actions he wouldn't be so eager to come back.

At that moment there was rustle of feathers followed by an angel that was bustling towards Dean quickly.

"Dean, go!" Cas was saying trying to hustle Dean towards the door when suddenly there was a high piercing noise followed by a very angry looking Afriel. Sam had never seen the young angel so angry, his grace was leaking through his vessel and he was snarling.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Afriel demanded pulling back his true voice and lunging towards the older Winchester. Castiel tried to fight off Afriel but his anger made him too strong. Soon he had Dean up against the wall by the throat. Dean was fighting him weakly while Mary and Sam were both trying to pull the raging angel away.

"Afriel, let go of Dean." Castiel said in a threateningly low voice. He had his angel blade in his hand and was glaring at his angelic brother.

"He hurt her Castiel, he's hurt her." Afriel said but he was loosening his grip on Dean. The hunter slumped to the floor rubbing at his throat.

"Afriel, I'm sorry." Dean wheezed out and the angels eyes blazed with anger again. Castiel held the blade up in warning but Afriel just glared at Dean.

"The mistakes you made while you were a demon I could forgive, I could understand. But this? This is the lowest act I've seen so far Winchester, and I've seen plenty in my time on this earth. She's broken, so broken that she banished me." Afriel said actually humming in anger.

"She what?" Sam asked.

"I felt her pain even though she didn't pray to me. So I went to her, to comfort and console her. But she had made a sigil on her dash and banished me from the car. Do you have any idea how hurt she must be to do that Castiel?" he demanded of his brother.

"I'll fix this Afriel, I will." Dean said standing up shakily. There were angry red marks around his throat and one eye looked a little red. Angels were scary when they were vengeful.

"You can't you moron, can't you see that?" Afriel replied. His anger was fleeing, leaving behind sadness and exhaustion. He slumped into a chair and put his head in his hands. The soft blonde curls fell over his fingers. His vessel still wasn't any older then 12 but he looked all of his eternal years at that point.

"What do you mean I can't?" Dean asked him.

"When loves turns it shows Dean. Cassidy is on the verge of going dark and its all because of you." Afriel glared at him again.

"What do you mean going dark Afriel?" Sam asked him squatting down in front of him.

"She's going to open herself to demons if she doesn't find something good to hold on to. Anti-posession symbols won't save her from the highest demons, even another knight of hell. And there are much scarier things in hell then knights." he explained.

"What do you know of hell Afriel?" Castiel asked putting away his blade.

"Youth doesn't only know heaven Castiel, I have had to travel to places I'd rather not discuss." he replied. "Just trust me, if Cassidy doesn't find some comfort soon she's going to put herself at risk."

"Where is she?" Dean asked. He couldn't let something happen to Cas just because he had messed up.

"I don't know. She warded herself. She doesn't want to be found." Afriel sighed heavily. Dean looked to Castiel who nodded his agreement. Cassidy was hidden.

"Sam pray." Dean demanded of his brother. Sam looked confused.

"Don't play dumb Sam, not right now. I know Gabriel will answer your prayers so you pray your ass off." Dean said.

"Uh…" Sam said blushing a deep red. But he ducked his head and started to pray. "Uh, Gabe, if you're not busy…"

"You don't need to sound so whiny you know moose…put a little flare in your prayer. Maybe do a little dance, wear a little chip-n-dale costume?" Gabriel's laughing voice filled the room before he saw everyone looking serious and pissed. "Who died?"

"Its Cassidy, I need you to find her. I know angel warding doesn't work 100% with you, so find her." Dean demanded. He knew he should be explaining to Sammy how he had known the archangel would answer his prayers but right now he just needed to find Cas.

"After what you did to her? Why would I help you Dean?" Gabriel said in a serious manner for once. He crossed his arms and glared at the Winchester. Shit, was he on everyone's black list now?

"Because she's in danger brother. Her light has been dimmed and now its attracting demons like moth." Castiel said. Afriel was looking at the archangel with something akin to idol worship.

"Oh great Dean-o, you managed to break one of the brightest souls I've ever seen." Gabe rolled his eyes. He sighed but closed his eyes concentrating on finding the girl. He was surprised where he found her.

"She's with Crowley." Gabriel told them. He seemed to straighten up some before snapping his fingers. All the people in the bunker were suddenly next to Cassidy's Impala in under some kind of overpass. She was standing a ways away scowling at the King of Hell.

"Cassidy!" Dean called and she whipped around at the sound of his voice. Her eyed widened but Crowley was rolling his.

"Fantastic." the demon growled in exasperation.

"What do you think you're doing with him?" Dean demanded of his girlfriend.

"What ever I please Winchester." she said to him. "What I do is no longer any concern of yours."

"Cas please, whatever he says is a lie. You know you can't trust freaking Crowley." Dean was waving his arms at the demon who stood there calmly.

"Of course I can't trust him, I'm not stupid!" she replied. The others were holding back near the car, all except Gabriel who had walked up to keep an eye on the demon. Crowley was looking at the arch angel nervously.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?" Crowley asked him.

"Never believe the rumours you hear." Gabriel answered with a smirk. He pulled a large cotton candy cone out of thin air and began munching on it.

"What could you possibly be talking about with him anyways?" Dean asked Cassidy in a softer tone. He had gone from angry, to scared, to angry and now he was settling into afraid again. Only this time it was because he didn't know if she would listen to him.

"He…" Cassidy looked at Crowley guiltily before lowering her chin "He was going to take the pain away." she practically whispered.

"What?" Dean let out a breath "No, baby…" he reached for her but she stepped back.

"He was going to take all this pain, all this anger, all these memories and make them disappear. That was my deal." she said holding her chin high and looking down her nose at him

"You wanted to forget me?" Dean felt his heart stutter.

"Why not? It seemed easy enough for you to do." came the angry reply.

"Carmel corn?" Gabe whispered to Crowley holding out a bowl. Crowley shook his head before going back to people watching.

"Point for her." the king said and Dean glared at him.

"Can we just go somewhere and talk Cas? Without the audience?"

"No we can't. I have nothing to say to you Dean and every time we get alone together I loose my mind, and normally my clothes. If you want to talk to me you can do it here in front of god, the devil and everyone in between." she gestured to the assortment of supernatural being around them.

"Not God." Gabe piped up.

"Not the devil." Crowley added.

"Oh for fucks sake can't you two just shut up!" Dean shouted at them. Both held up their hands in surrender.

"Dean Winchester!" Mary's voice rang out chastising Dean for swearing. Dean flushed and a small grin tugged at the edges of Cassidy's mouth.

"Sorry Mom." he apologized quickly. "Alright fine." he took a deep breath. "Cassidy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to hurt you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize I loved you, I'm sorry I betrayed you when I was a demon and I'm sorry I made you think there was anyone in this world more important to me then you. I've lived my whole life not thinking I'm good enough, not strong enough, just not enough but you changed that. For once in my life I had someone who started to make me realize I was more then a hunter, a brother, a vessel. I was a man and a good one at that. You made me real Cassidy and you made me love you." he stopped to catch his breath and looked into the depth of her deep blue eyes to make sure she was truly listening to everything he was saying.

"I love you Cas, I love you so much that it terrifies me at times because everything I love I loose. I fuck up, I fuck up a lot but the one thing I need to make everything ok is you. So if you need to go then I'll let you but just know that it'll kill some part of me to do it. I want to spend the rest of my life making you feel like the most important woman in the universe, but if you don't think I can do it then I'll accept that. I just don't want you to go without hearing it from me." he wouldn't drop his gaze, just continued with the eye contact with his Cas.

"You've given me so much Cas, so much. And I want to give back to you. I just don't know how." he finished and finally looked away to study the top of his boots. He knew all ears and eyes were on them but he didn't care. He only cared about her.

Things were silent and tense. All beings held their breaths waiting for Cassidy to say something, anything. Even Gabriel was stone still, not chewing, not joking and not breathing. Finally Cassidy sighed.

"You'll call me every hour on the hour when we're not together." she said finally. Dean looked up at her quickly and nodded.

"You'll take me on hunts with you, no matter how dangerous you think they are." Dean nodded again.

"You'll stop making important decisions without talking to me first." another nod.

"You'll bring me flowers, and chocolates, and watch chick flicks, and plan dates. You'll never forget a birthday, anniversary or Valentine's Day. You'll let me drive Baby." she smiled lightly. Dean grinned and nodded some more. She walked up to him with each new demand and was now close enough to reach out and finger the collar on his plaid shirt.

"You'll stop dumping all the research on Sam and let him out of the bunker every once in a while." she continued. "And you'll let him get a puppy." she said and Dean let out a shaky laugh.

"A small one." he agreed.

"A whole freaking dog team if that's what he wants." she wagged her finger in his face and he rolled his eyes.

"Fine." he agreed easily. He looked at her nervously waiting for more.

"And you'll marry me." she said. The entire collective drew in a breath but Dean was shaking his head eagerly.

"Aren't I the one who asks that?" he asked her. She let a small smile slip and it didn't take long before it was a bigger smile. She looked up at Dean's shining green eyes.

"I don't mean right now, I don't care when. I just want to know you want me forever." she said. Dean couldn't hold out any longer. He drew her into his arms and kissed her. Her lips were dry, her breath hitching in her chest but after a moment she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. So many things were still hurting, so many things still needed to be said, but right now, this was enough. Dean's lips on hers were just what she wanted, what she needed and she began to feel the horrible emptiness inside of her fade. When they pulled back enough to breath they were both smiling.

"So are you coming home?" Dean asked her holding her off of her feet and burying his nose in her hair.

"If you really want me to." she teased him.

"More then anything in this world." he replied honestly. Finally there was a little clap from their side. Gabriel was slow clapping and giving them mushy eyes. Next to him Crowley rolled his eyes before letting out a pained "Bollocks" and disappearing.

"So that's how you wrap a Winchester around your finger." Gabe said and his eyes drifted to Sam who was blushing uncomfortably. Castiel and Afriel were looking between the two of them with an unbelieving look.

"We were having a moment sweet tooth." Cassidy rolled her eyes before Dean set her down on her feet. She straightened her jacket but Dean kept an arm around her waist.

"Same here sweet cheeks." Gabe replied and Sam blushed even deeper. Mary was looking between the two of them with a small smile on her face.

"Ok lets can the chick flick moments and go home shall we? Its freezing out here." Dean said pulling Cassidy in the direction of their family.


	16. Chapter 15THE END

_**this is the final chapter guys! I'm so happy to see so many people enjoying a little bit of happiness for Dean and in this chapter I kinda fluffed out. I'm leaving tomorrow for my Christmas holidays and where I'm going the internet is sketchy at best so I thought I'd post it all before I leave. As always enjoy and leave me a comment or two if you please :) Happy Holidays SPN Family!**_

 **15** **(many many fights, make up sex sessions, family discussions and averted crisis later) *in this Mary has gone back to heaven**

Dean was glancing nervously at all the shiny glass cases in front of him. By his side stood Sam, a little older but much happier then Dean had seen him in years. Sam had had a long time to come to terms with his feelings for a certain arch angel who now constantly popped into the bunker to toy with the brothers and their large family. And Dean, with much coaxing from Cas, had accepted it all.

"This one is nice Dean." Sam said pointing to a ring in the case. Dean glanced at it and then shook his head. Sam sighed and kept looking.

It had been a long time since Cassidy had even mentioned marriage to Dean. He truly didn't know if she even thought about it any more. But he did and finally after so many years, five kids and the return of not only Chuck but Amara as well, Dean was ready to make her his wife.

"Why am I even here? You aren't listening to any of my suggestions." Sam bitched at his brother.

"I just don't know what I'm looking for Sammy. But I'll know it when I see it." Dean looked around some more.

"Why didn't you ask Afriel to help?"

"Because I don't want those loose lipped angels to know anything about this. Christ Sam, they couldn't even keep it a secret the last time Cassidy got pregnant. I've never heard a chorus announce a pregnancy before." Dean said recalling how he had walked into the bunker to see two angels bouncing with joy before waiting about two seconds and then calling down the heavenly chorus to announce that Dean was going to be a father again.

"I was surprised they didn't make a bigger deal the first time to be honest." Sam smiled. Sam loved being an uncle and the fact that Cassidy seemed content to just keep popping out babies pleased him to no end. He might be in love with Gabriel but there was nothing normal about that relationship. Having Dean's kids running around helped to give him a little normalcy.

"Probably because it was finally the girl they had been waiting for." Dean rolled his eyes. Who would have ever guessed that the two Uncle Angels would be more into pig tails, barbies and dresses then any of them. The first time Dean had walked in on Castiel in a tiara having a tea party he had almost died from laughter but he was glad the angel was so involved in his kids lives. Not that he never played with the boys, he just seemed better suited to tea parties then baseball games.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" a nice store worker asked dragging Dean out of his memories.

"Ring, I need a ring." Dean mumbled out while Sam gave her an apologetic smile.

"Engagement?" she asked and he nodded. She led them over to a case filled with shining golden rings. Each had a stone larger then the last and Dean actually scrunched up his nose.

"She'd kill me if I came home with something like that." Dean gestured to the gaudy rings.

"Maybe if you tell me what kind of jewelry your girlfriend wears I may be able to point you in a better direction." the worker suggested helpfully.

"She doesn't wear any." Dean shrugged.

"Wait, didn't I see her wearing those earrings last Christmas?" Sam said trying to think.

"Yeah until Izzy pulled one out." Dean said remembering as well. His daughter was like a crow when it came to shiny things, which was why all the weapons in the bunker were now under lock and key in the dungeon.

"No rings?" the worker was shocked.

"Um, I think she has a warded iron band that she takes out on hunts." Dean thought. Sam nodded his agreement.

"So you need something simple?" the girl asked silently wondering what kind of woman took a ring out hunting? Were the deer fashion conscious?

"Very simple. Plain band, no high stones or anything like that. They can snag. I imagine silver would be nice with her complexion." Sam offered.

"And useful." Dean agreed.

"Ok I have a few items you can look through." the woman could quickly feel her commission on a high priced ring slipping away. Silver wasn't the cheapest option but it certainly wasn't up there with 24k gold or platinum.

The rings she brought out were traditionally anniversary presents for couples that had been married for a long time. Simple, shiny and moderately priced. Dean looked them over before his eyes locked on one.

"That one." Dean said pointing to a simple silver band that had one light blue diamond in the centre but six sparkling white diamonds surrounding it.

"Sir, thats not really an engagement ring." the worker explained.

"Don't care, that's the one." Dean argued with her. Nodding her head she sighed and got the ring ready. Dean was anxious as he paid for the ring and they headed back to the bunker. Baby purred along the highway and Dean was grateful that he had chosen the Impala instead of the now very well used van they had been forced to buy. Some times having so many kids could get a little annoying.

"When will you ask her?" Sam asked his brother as they drove along. He had a lollipop stick hanging out of his mouth, a habit picked up from Gabe.

"I don't know. Christ Sammy, I barely just got as far as the ring." Dean told him. They drove along in silence for a few minutes when Sam sat up straighter and cleared his throat.

"I uh…I'm thinking about asking Gabriel to move in with me." he said and Dean shot his brother a surprised look.

"In the bunker? I mean I like the guy well enough and I'm happy for you Sammy but is there really enough room? The kids have almost all the space taken up. Add an archangel to the mix and I think its might be a little chaotic." Dean asked. He had been expecting this for months now, every time Gabe flitted out of the bunker Sam got a little down and out.

"No, not the bunker actually. Dean, I…I got a place in town. A nice little apartment for the two of us." Sam said refusing to look at his brother.

"You're leaving Sammy?" Dean asked a little hurt. It wasn't like they weren't old enough to be on their own, hell well into their 40's it was beyond time. But Dean liked having Uncle Sammy there for his kids.

"I'm not going far Dean, just into the city instead of in the bunker. I'll still be there all the time. Someone needs to coral your football team." Sam smirked at him.

"And you're going to ask the angel to live there with you? Do you think he'll say yes?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. I just know its time for me to get my own space Dean. And I'd like to share it with him." Sam replied honestly. They were both silent for a moment, Sam with his breath held waiting for Dean to explode and tell him why he couldn't go off and live on his own.

"I'm happy for you Sam." Dean said surprising his brother.

"Really?"

"Yeah of course. I have Cas and the kids, its only right you have someone for yourself. And your own space so you don't have to try to schedule sex around nap time." Dean gave him a smirk of his own.

"Thanks Dean, that means a lot." Sam gave his brother the wide happy dimpled smile that he kept only for the best of occasions.

"But I ain't helping you move. Use a few finger snaps from your boyfriend for that."

Dean carried Cassidy's ring with him everywhere for the next two months. Things got a bit hectic with Sam moving out and then there were birthday parties every couple of weeks for the three youngest kids. He almost forgot the ring in his pocket until one evening as he was putting on a load of laundry, a mountainous chore that required daily attention, and felt it in the pocket of his jeans. He pulled it out and looked at the sparkling diamonds.

"Dean?" Cassidy's voice came from behind him where she was bringing in yet another load of socks.

"Marry me Cas." Dean said falling to one knee in front of her. He held out the ring and Cas dropped the laundry basket.

"What?" she asked in surprise taking in the sight of the sparkling ring and Dean on his knee.

"You are the centre of my universe Cassidy, the love of my life and the mother of my children. I want to make you my wife as well. My life hasn't been perfect, I've made so many mistakes but if I die without making you a Winchester that's the biggest mistake that will haunt me." he said and his voice was warbling with honesty.

"Oh Dean." Cassidy threw her arms around the man and kissed him senseless. It was only when she pulled back for breath that she looked him in the eye, a tear or two may have been leaking from the corners of those green orbs.

"Of course I'll marry you Dean." she said happily. He took her hand and slipped the ring on her. They both looked at the way it shimmered in the lighting.

"About time." came a familiar teasing voice from the doorway. Both of them looked up to see Gabriel and Sam watching them with big sappy smiles on their faces. Behind them Castiel and Afriel were also smiling.

"Can't we get any peace around here?" Dean rolled his eyes and grumbled. On cue there was a the sound of many little feet racing up the hallway. Five freckled faces poked into the door wondering what was going on.

"Mom? Dad?" came the serious voice of the oldest boy Robbie. He was always the serious one and took looking after his siblings to heart. At seven Dean thought he carried too much on his small shoulders but since he was John Winchester's grandson it was only to be expected.

"We're getting married." Dean smiled at his kids and there were happy squeals from everyone except Izzy. Isabella really but they called her Izzy.

"Whats wrong baby girl?" Dean picked up his daughter as the boys crowded their Mom asking a million questions. The angels were also talking loudly, already planning an extravagant affair that would make heaven weep with jealousy.

"I wanted to marry you Daddy." Izzy said in that little girl voice of hers. The voice that had wrapped every man in her life around her tiny little finger.

"Ah baby girl, you'll grow up and find your own person to love and marry. Mommy is mine and I'm hers. But you'll always be my special little bunny won't you?" he kissed her cheeks and made her laugh. She nodded at him with those wide green eyes and a big smile on her face.

"Uh, I don't necessarily know if Chuck will come if we ask him to officiate. He's probably a little busy up there." Sam said cutting into Dean's moment with his daughter. He was arguing with both Gabriel and Castiel while Afriel looked on.

"I can do it." Gabriel said to his baby brother.

"No, I want our father here." Castiel argued back. Dean rolled his eyes and his gaze settled on Cassidy. She was looking at him intently with a smile playing on her beautiful pink lips.

"I love you." she mouthed to Dean.

"I love you too Cas."


	17. Chapter 17

***a bonus chapter based on Dean and Cassidy's large family experiencing their first real Christmas together in the bunker…and Dean has an announcement to make**

"Cas, you'd better get in here!" Dean's voice called to Cassidy as she was sorting through the kids fancy clothes trying to come up with something suitable for them all to wear for a family photo. Why did Izzy have so many dresses? The girl lived in jeans and tee shirts just like her brothers.

"What Dean? I'm busy!" she called back slightly annoyed.

"Just come here." he called and she heard the smile on his face. Rolling her eyes she threw the handful of dresses on Izzy's bed and headed to the main living area. The bookshelves were still there but the two large tables had been moved years ago to make room for sofas and a large tv. As soon as she entered the doorway next to Dean she saw why he had called her.

In the middle of the room stood a Christmas tree that must have been closing in on ten feet tall. It was a deep green and smelled strongly of fir. But even though the tree itself was magnificent what got her attention was Castiel hovering near the top with Izzy in his arms placing a glowing white angel as the topper. His huge black wings beat lazily as he tried not to create too much wind.

"Is he flying? With our daughter?" she asked Dean just staring.

"Yup."

"Where's…" she trailed off as her adopted angel brother Afriel zipped into the room, stuck something to the ceiling and then flew out again. In contrast to Castiel Afriel's wings were a snowy white and not as large. They had explained to them that it was because of their rankings in heaven. Cas was a soldier therefore his wings were black and larger for more power while Afriel's were white and more delicate for his guardian angel type work. Gabriel had had to give them a glimpse of his multitude of golden wings at that point and bragged about being an archangel. He could use the archangel as an excuse for the shining golden colour but he had no explanation why his father had given him six wings instead of just two. Discussion had cut off pretty quick when Cas had noticed the hungry look Sam was giving Gabe's wings and the two disappeared to a motel for the night.

"Mistletoe?" she asked and Dean nodded again.

Before more mischief could take place before their eyes Sam and the four boys came in brushing snow off of their heads.

"I can't believe we're getting snow, in Kansas." Sam's eyes were practically glowing with joy and all around cheeks were rosy.

"Welcome to global warming Moose." Gabriel's teasing voice said as he slipped up behind the Winchester and slide some snow down his pants. Sam let out a very girlish scream and was hopping around trying to dislodge the snow. All four of the boys were laughing and encouraging the archangel.

"Boys, that's not very nice. Now help your uncle and get a towel." Cassidy scolded the boys and even though they all still wore smiles they did as she asked.

"What is happening?" Dean asked as he looked around at the flitting angel of youth and Castiel as he lowered Izzy back to the floor. The little girl was clapping in glee and reached for an ornament that she wanted to place near the top of the tree. She held her hands out to Cas and immediately he started to fly with her in his arms again. At four she had Castiel, angel of the lord and a soldier in heavens army, wrapped so tightly around her little finger that Dean was afraid the angel might never let her go. Which could be a problem when she got a bit older.

"We're decorating Dean." Gabriel strolled over to the man. "We got tired of you two taking your sweet time."

"We weren't taking our time, we were…busy." Dean shrugged.

"You're always busy Dad." came the voice of his oldest son Robbie from behind Dean as he handed Sam a towel. Sam was glaring at his archangel boyfriend and just plotting his revenge.

"I am not." Dean argued but all five kids, three angels and one brother were nodding their heads in agreement with Robbie.

"Its not your fault baby, our life _is_ pretty hectic now." Cassidy wrapped her arm around Dean's waist and pulled him close.

"Am I really that out of touch here?" Dean asked her quietly as everyone else went back to decorating. Cas pulled on Dean's waist and they left the room to talk.

"Between the kids schoolwork, teaching them to fight, hunting, the massive amount of work that goes in to running this place…yeah you can be a little inattentive." Cas said trying to be gentle about it. She herself could be a little distant when she let every thing pile up.

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't realize it." he apologized pulling her in for a hug and planting a soft kiss on her temple.

"Its fine Dean, we all know how important the job is. Its our family business too." she pointed out.

"But it shouldn't be. The kids shouldn't have to know all this. I never wanted to be my father." he said sadly.

"You could never be John Winchester if you tried Dean. I would never allow it." Cas told him. She had heard all of the stories of John and she was silently glad he was gone. If he was here she wouldn't let him near her kids. Or Dean and Sam.

"But something's gotta change Cas, I can't let my kids think anything is more important than them." Dean was really struggling with this.

"Maybe its time for you to hang up the keys? Take on a more behind the scenes job?" Cas offered timidly. She knew how Dean lived to hunt and had always been kind of weary of how long he would continue to do it. She herself didn't go out much any more, because of the kids, but Dean still acted like his old self some times.

"You mean become Bobby?" Dean asked her. She shrugged as they entered the kitchen and she went to the coffee pot. As usual the dishes were piled up waiting to be tended to but since it was Sam and Gabriel's day she didn't dare touch them.

"Why not? I mean Garth tried, then he became a werewolf so that went out the window. You know Sam is a huge walking info tablet so he could do all the research for you, you could just kind of tell people what to do." she said.

"You'e thought about this I take it?" Dean asked taking the cup of coffee she offered to him. She just shrugged in response.

"I know how much hunting means to you Dean. And I'd never ask you to give that up." she said honestly.

"But when the kids start to notice how much their Dad is gone things have got to change." Dean sighed. He sipped his coffee and thought about what Cas had suggested. He was well into his 40's after all. And how many hunters could say that? How many hunters had faced what him and Sammy faced and still lived to tell about it? How many hunters had families to come home to? How many hunters had so many people depending on them to come home every time?

"Mooooooooooooooooom!" came a cry from down the hall and with a hand squeeze and smile Cassidy went to see who had done what to who.

Dean couldn't stop thinking about what they had talked about. All week long he caught himself staring at his kids, every single one of them the perfect mix of Dean and Cassidy with freckles on every nose. The boys were full of energy and rowdy while Izzy was nothing but sugar and spice. They all had their own personalities, Robbie, the 12 year old with his black hair and green eyes was very serious most of the time, taking his role of big brother to heart. Then there was John and Isaiah at 10, the two in between twins. Both had the sandy blonde hair of their father with their mother's bright blue eyes. And the mischief constantly sparkled in those eyes, keeping everyone on their toes when they were around. So obviously they took to Uncle Gabriel like ducks to water which aged all the adults about ten years every day. The baby boy was Charlie and he just seemed to watch everything with wonder on his freckled face. He loved to read and learn and Dean was pleased to see how much like Sammy he was. His overly large brother and his nephew were inseparable and it made Dean so very happy when he caught them reading some of the larger Men of Letters tomes when they had a free minute together. At 8 Charlie was surpassing his older brothers in school already. Kindergarten was a joke so after discussing it Cas and Dean had pulled him from school and decided to home school him. He still went to all the social things boys his age needed but he was content to sit and read with his mother or uncle instead of roughing it like his brothers.

And then there was little Isabella, Izzy, his baby girl who made his heart pitter patter even after four years of having her in his life. She was everything good that both of her parents possessed. Her hair was a lighter shade of blonde that came from Dean's mother but her eyes were a cross between blue and green, depending on her mood. Dean had never seen eyes like that. Little Isabella had come in to their lives unexpectedly, both parents having assumed that they are done having children until one day Dean had come home to angels singing in his foyer. For some reason Afriel and Castiel had taken the pregnancy with Izzy differently then the others and Dean still didn't know why. Yeah, she was the only girl, but they treated her like a princess. Literally. So he was quite relieved when she seemed to be a reasonable little girl who enjoyed tea parties with Uncle Cas, painting with Uncle Af or baking with Uncle Gabe. She didn't let all the special attention from the angels go to her head.

"Dad?" Dean was drawn out of his head by Isaiah who was watching his Dad cautiously.

"Yeah?" Dean asked sitting back in his chair where he had been watching everyone continue to decorate. It was taking forever to decorate the bunker to the angels satisfaction.

"Can you help me with some thing?" Isaiah asked with a slight blush.

"Sure kid, what do you need?" he put his hand on his son's shoulder.

"I wanted to make something for Mom, but I'm not big enough to use all the tools in the garage. Can you help me?" his son asked.

"Sure thing, lets go." he said standing and letting the kid lead him to the garage. There were still lots of old cars in here, remnants of the Men of Letters days. The Impala held the place of pride near the door, Cherry right next to her in a cover up, and Dorothy's bike still sat beside it. But now in the main space was the van that it took to cart the entire family around. That hideous light blue reminder of adult responsibilities. Dean didn't know who hated it more him or Cassidy.

"I already started on something, but if you think its no good we can work on another idea I have." Isaiah said almost shyly. Dean looked to where he was being led and his mouth opened in surprise. On the work bench sat some intricately carved pieces of wood arranged in a scene. There were three angels, five small kids (one with pigtails), three adults and a car.

"What is this Isaiah?" Dean asked picking up one of the pieces. It was carved from old barn board if he had to guess and the details were amazing.

"I, uh…its just something I picked up in school. We had a wood working class and I, well I kinda liked it. The teacher said I was really good so I just wanted to make something for Mom." the twin blushed.

"This is amazing kid. Really." Dean said proudly. Isaiah smiled so wide his whole face lit up.

"Really Dad? You think so?" he said picking up the little girl and looking it over. "I had a hard time with some of the finer details but Mr. Howard helped me out and let me borrow some tools from school. I just need your help with the background. I want to make it out of tin." Isaiah explained starting to get more excited the more he spoke. Dean watched him avidly and his excitement caught on. Dean didn't know much about art but he knew tools and it wasn't long before they were both in welding masks and Dean was teaching his son all the safety rules before they started.

"Mommy? Are you ok?" Izzy asked her Mom as they strolled through the local mall looking for presents. The kids were done, toys and electronics were mainly on that list but today was the hard day. Angels and Winchesters were hard to shop for.

"Hmmm? Of course honey, why?" Cassidy asked drawing her eyes away from a window to look at the little girl who was sitting in the cart in front of her.

"You look…sad." Izzy said struggling to put her thoughts into words.

"I'm not sad baby girl. I'm just thinking. I don't know what to get Daddy for Christmas." she admitted.

"Daddy likes guns." she said a bit too loudly and a passing older grandma type shot her a strange look.

"Daddy has enough guns baby." she said giving the passer by a sorry smile.

"He likes Baby." she offered using the nickname they all used for the Impala.

"I think he has enough toys for his car." she grinned. The little girl loved her car more then daddy's and Cassidy used that against Dean all the time.

"What about a new iPod? His old one got smashed." she said guiltily.

"And now we know we can't play with the adult toys don't we baby girl?" Cassidy reaffirmed the trouble she had gotten in the day that happened.

"I know Mommy." she shook her head eagerly.

"Look Mommy, isn't that the music Dad listens to?" she asked excitedly pointing to a poster hanging in a rare music store. Cassidy stopped and read the sign.

"Well Isabella, it looks like you just found Daddy's present. Can you keep it a secret?" she asked her daughter in a conspirators tone. Izzy was bouncing excitedly and ran an invisible zipper over her lips.

Three days before Christmas Afriel paced in front of the tree looking at it critically. All five children and the other two angels were watching him with their breath held. Cassidy, Dean and Sam were sitting back on a sofa drinking some egg nog and smiling.

"Its perfect." Afriel said finally. All the kids let out whoops and the angels sighed in relief. Little Afriel was quite the little dictator when he wanted to be and this was a rather important holiday to the angels. Even if they were quite vocal about how it was the wrong date to celebrate the birth of Jesus and what not.

"Good, now can I dress up my children and FINALLY get a picture in front of the tree?" Cassidy asked. She had been trying to days to get this picture. After she had looked through her photo album and along the frames on the walls she realized she didn't have a family photo with all of the kids, angels and Winchesters in it. There was always some one missing, a child not born yet or what not.

"Aww Mom." John complained.

"John Winchester, you stop your complaining. We aren't a normal family by any means but I want one family portrait that I can stare at when I'm old and grey and you leave me alone with your senile father." Cas pointed her finger at the boy.

"Senile?" Dean whispered to Sam.

"I laid clothes out on your beds, I expect you cleaned up, dressed and back here in 20 minutes or I'll be writing a very long and unhappy letter to Santa." she said and with that magic name the kids went scurrying, Cas being dragged along by his fingers by Izzy to help with her dress.

"Come on men, I mean everyone." Cas said dragging Dean up as he started to complain. Gabriel turned around to make his escape when she grabbed him by the collar.

"I mean all men, angels and human alike." she threatened.

"Moose, help me Moose." Gabe pleaded with Sam.

"No way, I'm not getting on her bad side. I need all the good words in with Santa as I can get." Sam grinned. Gabriel sighed in defeat and everyone went off to get fancy.

When every one was dressed, hair was combed and ties adjusted they all stood around the Christmas tree waiting for Cassidy. Since she had been the one flitting from room to room making sure each kid got themselves dressed properly she was the last to take the time to get herself ready. Dean tugged at his collar again and huffed. Like he didn't wear a tie enough in his job?

"Everyone better be ready!" came Cas's mom voice from the hall and every one arranged themselves in front of the tree for inspection. Even the angels were adjusting theirselves. Castiel, Afriel and Gabriel were all in nice clean dress shirts with matching ties. Dean had to stop himself from laughing at the three of them. Cas had on a white shirt with a green tie, Gabriel a red shirt with a white tie and Afriel had a green shirt with a red tie. They looked like an angelic three stooges.

"Alright, get the camera ready, I'm not keeping on these heels for long." Cassidy grumbled coming into the room. Dean's breath left him in a rush as he took in his wife.

Cas had her long black hair flowing over her shoulders freely with just a little pulled back to each side revealing her lovely pale skin and high cheek bones. Her blue eyes were framed in some light make up and her lips were a lovely shade of red that Dean instantly wished to have all over his body. She wore a silver dress that slung to her curves and ended at her knees. On her feet she wore black heels that made her ass look even better then normal. All in all it was amazing how good his wife still looked after all these years and kids. Dean puffed up proudly as she walked to him.

"You look good baby." he said going in for a kiss but she turned her face.

"We don't both need to be wearing lipstick." she smiled at him in explanation.

"Where did you get the dress?" he asked as Sam went to set the timer on the camera and get everyone in frame.

"I bought it a few years ago when I was hoping for a New Years Eve date." she admitted. Dean's face fell as he realized she had bought a dress in hopes of a date that never happened. There just wasn't time for date nights when you had this many people to look after.

"Alright, everyone smile…and no funny faces!" Sam said pointing to both Gabriel and the twins who immediately straightened up their faces and closed their mouths.

"This is my one Christmas wish guys, please make it happen." Cassidy guilted everyone into behaving to get a good picture. Dean reached down to pick up Izzy just as Sam ran back into place. Sam slid an arm around Gabriel and everyone smiled.

Christmas Eve was always a bag of mixed emotions for Dean and Sam. They had never had Christmas when they were growing up, the one time they had celebrated as adults was when Dean was going to hell for the first time. Not exactly merry fun memories. But now that the kids were here they at least tried to make it a tradition.

"Do you realize this is the first year we'll all be here for Christmas?" Sam said as the adults sat around filling the stockings now that the kids were asleep. The massive pile of gifts was daunting and Dean has his suspicions that the angels had cheated a few of the gifts there.

"No, that can't be right." Dean protested stopping what he was doing. An orange rolled across the table in front of him and Afriel chased it down.

"I think he's right. Since Izzy's been born there was always some one missing. Last year was Sam and Gabriel on a hunt, the year before I think Castiel was in heaven. Afriel and Castiel were gone the Christmas before that and for Izzy's first Christmas Sam was in the hospital remember?" Cassidy said thinking back.

"Christ." Dean swore and Castiel gave him a mild bitch face.

"Is this really Izzy's first Christmas with all of us here?" Dean looked around and everyone was nodding.

"That just means we'll have to make it extra special." Gabriel said snapping his fingers and mojoing up more presents. Cassidy sighed and shook her head at the angel.

"Gabe, please. We have no space as it is. Did you know I had to turn the dungeon into a play room for Izzy's doll house?" she pointed out. Gabe sighed and snapped his fingers making the presents go poof again.

"Are you sure you don't want some help in the kitchen tomorrow Castiel. A big turkey dinner isn't easy." Sam asked the angel who was currently trying to fit another doll into Izzy's stocking.

"I am aware Sam." he replied. Everyone had been surprised with how great Castiel cooked and now he had taken over the large family meals when he was here. Cassidy was happy enough for that, she didn't have much experience in the kitchen besides quick lunches and a few brunches.

"Can we just take a minute to appreciate this guys?" Dean said cutting into the conversation. Everyone stopped and stared at him.

"For the first time in our lives we're all here together, the kids are all here waiting for Santa and nothing is trying to kill us. I'd say that calls for a drink." Dean said. Every one raised the beer, wine, or in Gabriel's case a girly apple-tini, and clinked glasses. Cassidy leaned her head on Dean's shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her.

"I think it'll probably happen a bit more now though." Dean said. He looked down at Cas and kissed her quickly.

"Why?" Afriel asked.

"Well, uh I was going to wait to announce this but since we're all here now I might as well. I'm going to retire." Dean said and all eyes focused on him unbelieving.

"A Winchester retiring? I don't believe it." Gabriel snorted and Sam elbowed him.

"I'm hanging up the bag guys. I've got too many people who depend on me to be running off and taking chances. Sammy and I talked about it and we're going to be the new home base." Dean explained and Sam nodded while Gabe gave him a look.

"And when were you going to tell me Moose?" Gabe asked him.

"Uh, now?" he replied.

"I think its fantastic." Castiel said. "The world is calming down, the angels and demons are just throwing punches now instead of trying to trigger the next apocalypse so I think its a good time to retire. Congratulations Dean, Sam."

"I mean its not like we'll be completely out of the game, we can still help out but no more running off to save the world if we can help it." Sam agreed.

"Now we can run off and enjoy the world instead." Dean agreed. "And on that note Sammy I need you and Gabriel to baby sit on New Years, I'm taking my wife out." he said squeezing Cas's shoulders.

"Maybe I already have plans." Cassidy said with a haughty look on her face.

"You do not." Dean argued.

"I said maybe." she teased him some more.

"Come on Cas, I want to go somewhere and kiss you at midnight. Put on that pretty dress and I'll make it worth your while." Dean practically begged.

"Well…I guess. Seeing who you are and all." she smirked at him. "But I need to call in another baby sitting favour for just after New Years."

"What? Why?" he asked her.

"Well I was going to give you this tomorrow but now you brought it up I have no choice." Cassidy reached into the bag next to her and brought out an envelope with bows on it. She handed it to Dean while everyone watched curiously.

"Its not another sonogram is it?" Gabe asked and Sam let out a surprised burst of laughter.

"No it isn't." Cas laughed. She watched as Dean tore into the envelope and drew out two VIP passes to a music festival.

"A whole weekend of classic rock bands?!" he exclaimed looking over the info that came with the tickets.

"Yup, if anyone would appreciate three days filled with AC/DC, Zeppelin and Styxx then it would be you." she said smiling as his eyes widened and brightened with every word he read. By the time he put the paper aside he was grinning broadly at his wife.

"This is so awesome!" he said and hugged her tightly. He had never been to a concert, unless you included the time they tried to take down Lucifer at a Lady Heart club gig. And all his favourite bands in one place? He felt just like a kid!

"I guess we can baby sit a whole weekend." Gabe said tying up the bow he had been working on.

"We can break out Baby, just enjoy the whole ride there and back with the two of us…" Dean was whispering in his wife's ear.

"Do go on Mr. Winchester." she urged him with a heated look.

Christmas was as chaotic and amazing as Dean had imagined it would be. The kids tore into the presents and soon the entire large room was filled with wrapping paper and toy packaging. Cassidy cried when Isiah gave her his woodworked family and placed it in the spot of honour on the large shelf Dean had hung for her a few years ago. He caught her glancing at it every once in a while and she always had a happy smile on her face when she did.

The angels were just as bad as the kids when it came to excitement, flitting back and worth between kids and their own presents. Dean just sat back and tried to take it all in. This was what Christmas should be about, family and friends all together and happy. He wrapped his hands together over his stomach and just watched. Cassidy saw him looking around and joined her husband on the sofa.

"Merry Christmas baby." she sighed kissing him gently. Dean's hand automatically went to the back of her head to pull her close again. He stared into her face when he pulled back.

"I love you Cas." he said with a gentle smile.

"And I love you Mr. Winchester." she smiled at him. "How are you enjoying Christmas?"

"Its perfect baby." he assured her.

"Are you going to tell the kids you're retiring?" she asked him snuggling against his chest and watching their large family.

"Later." he said stroking his hands through her hair. It was still so long and silky and Dean loved the feeling between his fingers. He would tell the kids later that Dad would be home from now on, only go off when he absolutely had to. Right now all he wanted to do was snuggle his wife, watch his children play with their gifts, listen to Castiel and Afriel in the kitchen cooking a large meal and laugh at the way Gabriel was making Sam blush when he thought no one was looking. The perfect Christmas.


End file.
